Well, that's one more medical condition I wasn't really asking for but got anyway.

Got up to pee just for midnight last night and thought I was done, but for some reason the pressure wouldn't go away. Thinking it would pass, I went to bed. But after about 10 minutes the pressure on my bladder still hadn't gone away. Puzzled, I went back to the bathroom, but couldn't get more than a few drops out. As the pressure had gotten a bit worse, I somehow thought I'd hurt myself in the groin area and not noticed, so I took two painkillers and went to bed.

My groin wasn't having any of that. After about five minutes of tossing and turning I started thinking something might be up, so I went back to the bathroom for the third time. Only this time, I can't get anything out. And all of a sudden, I notice that the pressure has started getting painful and was now spreading upward towards my right hip.

Okay, pressure that's increasing to pain-levels, in a completely unfamiliar area, and it's spreading. Fuck weathering it, I'm calling an ambulance.

As I talk to the nice lady at the emergency services, the pressure now increases to the point where my vision is getting a little dark around the edges and I feel like throwing up. This is clearly a no-bullshit situation. Somehow I manage to hold on until the ambulance crew comes by. They have me lay down and do a few pressure tests on my midsection, then ask if I can try to pee again. No go, so they go to prep the ambulance while I grab clothes, wallet, phone and keys.

I get into the ambulance, and I swear, within a minute of laying down on the stretchers my legs, lower arms and jaw starts shivering so hard it's like I am having a mild seizure. I predictable get pretty nervous, but the medic says that's just that I'm coming down from being clenched up so hard. If you say so Doc.

We speed off to the city, not running the siren or anything but still making pretty good time, and thankfully about halfway the painkillers finally starts kicking in and I can relax a little bit. We get to the hospital and they leave me with one of the nightshift nurses, nice lady, who proceeds to check my stomach area with what I guess is some kind of ultrasound, and she says it looks like my bladder is empty. Sure as hell don't feel like it, but I trust her.

She leads me to a room of my own and I switch to a hospital shirt and lay down (it's close to 2AM at this point), and after a while a doctor comes in and I give him the rundown, and he gets a nurse to get a blood sample and give me a shot of painkillers and muscle-relaxants and ask me to give him a urine sample as soon as I can. I was doubting I could but holy shit that painkiller kicked in fast, and after about 20 minutes of laying down I managed to squeeze out half a cup and hand it to one of the night nurses.

I go back to my bed and rest, and eventually the doc comes back and tells me that were traces of blood in the urine sample, so it sounds like I probably got a kidney stone, so he says I can go home, gives me two morphine tabs and tells me to use them if things start building up again, and tells me to drink lots of water.

At this point it's almost 5AM, so I call my mom who lives in the city and asks if I can crash at her place. She says sure and come gets me, and I'm pretty dazed at this point, so it's just shuffling along and letting her drive me home and lead me down to the couch. Dawn is starting up at this point, but I'm off to dreamland within seconds of my head hitting the pillow.

I wake up at around noon when mom came back home, and after treating me to some nice Burger King lunch, I decided to go to work, since I'm not feeling *that* bad. Well, turns out I forgot the morphine pills back home and I could only work about two and a half hours before I had to call it quits and run home to the drugs.

So now I'm sitting goofed out of my mind on morphine while drinking icewater like a camel and wondering what to do. Oi vey, the couch is looking mighty interesting, but I don't want to sleep the entire day away.