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Losing it.
10 years ago
General
This hasn’t been something I’ve really brought up before, to anyone, but as of recent events I’m going to talk about it a lil.
I’ve always kind of struggled with…. Things that aren’t real? I’m unsure of how to word that but its things like; I struggle to tell if I dreamt something or if it really happened.
It could also be kind of silly, things like back when I was super into TF2 I’d hear a Spy decloak while I was like, at school. It was all pretty silly, and as the later shows down right dumb sometimes so I never really paid it much mind. I’ve always had a bit an overactive imagination and was always throwing myself into these fantasy world s I’d make for a story so I thought it was just an effect of that.
Lately, however, it’s been getting…. Well, rather scary. I’ve been seeing human/humanoid shapes walk past doors/windows when there are no people around at all, I’ve seen dog tails of dogs I don’t own bolt up stairs, I’ve been seeing doors that are shut as partly open for a moment, and last night I saw something peek around the corner in my room at me. Right before I fell asleep a little after I was just shot fully awake by something that I felt was saying my name, then again when I started to dose of again but this time it was nothing I could really make out or understand, just some mumbling. I’m seeing more and more stuff that I know isn’t there and not only that but the stuff I’m seeing is starting to feel aggressive towards me.
I fell like I’m losing it. I’m scared.
I’ve always kind of struggled with…. Things that aren’t real? I’m unsure of how to word that but its things like; I struggle to tell if I dreamt something or if it really happened.
It could also be kind of silly, things like back when I was super into TF2 I’d hear a Spy decloak while I was like, at school. It was all pretty silly, and as the later shows down right dumb sometimes so I never really paid it much mind. I’ve always had a bit an overactive imagination and was always throwing myself into these fantasy world s I’d make for a story so I thought it was just an effect of that.
Lately, however, it’s been getting…. Well, rather scary. I’ve been seeing human/humanoid shapes walk past doors/windows when there are no people around at all, I’ve seen dog tails of dogs I don’t own bolt up stairs, I’ve been seeing doors that are shut as partly open for a moment, and last night I saw something peek around the corner in my room at me. Right before I fell asleep a little after I was just shot fully awake by something that I felt was saying my name, then again when I started to dose of again but this time it was nothing I could really make out or understand, just some mumbling. I’m seeing more and more stuff that I know isn’t there and not only that but the stuff I’m seeing is starting to feel aggressive towards me.
I fell like I’m losing it. I’m scared.
It's something I've learned to live with, and the therapists I've talked to in the past couldn't make heads or tails of it.
I also have problems with an overactive imagination, and my dissociation means that oftentimes I'm not quite on earth. I would suspect it's my perception of my real and fantasy worlds merging when I'm between dissociation and realism.
I've been looking, well trying to look, for stuff like this and there doesn't seem to be much out there on anything like this, and if you say the therapists were unsure then that backs up a lil and not that I just can't google shit.
I've more or less learned to deal with it as well. I know these things are not real but it doesn't make it less awful.
I'm sorry you have to go though anything like this too, but thank you for telling me. It feels nice to know I'm not the only one or whatever.
well anyone about this myself. No body knew.