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10 years ago
General
Just as a warning, this Journal is another depressing Journal about my last relationship. I can only guess there will be more to follow...
So, as many of you know, I have been suffering from depression since January of this year, peaked in March where I "broke up" with my boyfriend who I discovered was cheating with me on his own boyfriend without either of us knowing until he was away on holiday (which I restrained myself from interrogation because I didn't want to ruin his holiday, while his other boyfriend thought otherwise).
And since then I've been trying to pull myself away but my heart won't let go. I know that I can't be with him, but I still love him.
This is what I don't understand, I've been cheated on 7 times and each time I've gotten over it within 2 weeks, my one prior to my last ended when I found out that I was "competing" with two other people in which my last boyfriend insisted that I break up to be with them.
In which I did. And they knew that we would never be together, especially when I just found out that his other boyfriend literately lives on his doorstep.
So, I am stuck in a position with no one to take my mind of my last "encounter", Instead I turned down a rich banker's son because I've given up with love. (In which if you are reading this you know why I turned you down)
In all honesty, given the opportunity, I could stab his boyfriend endlessly until he "went". But this won't ever happen as there is an ocean between us, I am sure I could never go through with it and even then my "ex" won't ever have me back whether I did commit murder or his boyfriend simply left him any other way. (If you, his boyfriend, are reading this then I am sure you understand why I say I could do this, but we both know it would never happen)
He was perfect. In every way possible; but he had only two flaws:
1, he already had a boyfriend which he would never choose to leave.
2, he hardly spoke to me near the end of our relationship (presumably to his actual boyfriend); it's because of this I speculated that he still had another boyfriend; I just never thought it was still the one he claimed to have left before coming to me.
So would I ever have him back as my lover? Yes
Would he ever have me back as his lover? No
Will he ever break up with his boyfriend? Not for the foreseeable future
What do I think of their relationship? I wish for them the best of luck, I just hate the fact I was caught in the middle of it and I am still trying to recover from it.
If I have learnt anything from this is that [if he didn't already have a boyfriend] he is prefect.
And I will never encounter perfection again...
So, as many of you know, I have been suffering from depression since January of this year, peaked in March where I "broke up" with my boyfriend who I discovered was cheating with me on his own boyfriend without either of us knowing until he was away on holiday (which I restrained myself from interrogation because I didn't want to ruin his holiday, while his other boyfriend thought otherwise).
And since then I've been trying to pull myself away but my heart won't let go. I know that I can't be with him, but I still love him.
This is what I don't understand, I've been cheated on 7 times and each time I've gotten over it within 2 weeks, my one prior to my last ended when I found out that I was "competing" with two other people in which my last boyfriend insisted that I break up to be with them.
In which I did. And they knew that we would never be together, especially when I just found out that his other boyfriend literately lives on his doorstep.
So, I am stuck in a position with no one to take my mind of my last "encounter", Instead I turned down a rich banker's son because I've given up with love. (In which if you are reading this you know why I turned you down)
In all honesty, given the opportunity, I could stab his boyfriend endlessly until he "went". But this won't ever happen as there is an ocean between us, I am sure I could never go through with it and even then my "ex" won't ever have me back whether I did commit murder or his boyfriend simply left him any other way. (If you, his boyfriend, are reading this then I am sure you understand why I say I could do this, but we both know it would never happen)
He was perfect. In every way possible; but he had only two flaws:
1, he already had a boyfriend which he would never choose to leave.
2, he hardly spoke to me near the end of our relationship (presumably to his actual boyfriend); it's because of this I speculated that he still had another boyfriend; I just never thought it was still the one he claimed to have left before coming to me.
So would I ever have him back as my lover? Yes
Would he ever have me back as his lover? No
Will he ever break up with his boyfriend? Not for the foreseeable future
What do I think of their relationship? I wish for them the best of luck, I just hate the fact I was caught in the middle of it and I am still trying to recover from it.
If I have learnt anything from this is that [if he didn't already have a boyfriend] he is prefect.
And I will never encounter perfection again...
