Being alive includes the instincts to stay alive whether you feel you want to or not. Hopefully in time things will improve because nobody gets to see all the people that are hurt when they go.

Is there any form of assistance you can apply for? Medical or financial? Have you sought aid from non-denominational or even religious groups / churches in the area? Contact a pro bono / free attorney center if one is available to help with bankruptcy. It's not always the end of everything. There are certain things that are exempt and it's best to know so you keep as much as possible and they can't try to claim more than they truly can. (You may need to list property, but if done with an attorney, it is privileged conversation until released during the bankruptcy proceedings.)

There are programs for low / no income people to get energy assistance either through your county, churches, or the energy companies themselves. Check around for help.

This one individual...you may need to cut your losses so you can find better. I don't know your situation, but it seems you need to find a better individual to be invested in.

Keep fighting. You've made it this far!

There are still things in the world that are lovely and amazing, and even though things are looking grim both physically and mentally for you, 'Kota, I'm certain that, one day, things will improve and be brighter. It might take a long time, thgough I'm very sure it's going to happen one day or another. If there's anything you ant to talk to me about, go ahead and send me a note, or whatever. I'm here to listen to you if you want someone to have a chat with.