Hey guys, its my first journal. So yeah.
I am on the baseball team at my high school. Today, we were given an opportunity to play an Australian team today after practice. I had agreed to stay, and had an awesome time playing them. They were super chill which was great. I got home and was overwhelmed with how much work I had to get done (I'm in summer school which is lame) and I just broke down for no reason. I thought back to all the times i wasn't doing well in school and then i thought about how little people I could tack to and I thought about all of the issues with me and the little life I've lead so far. Which is stupid, cuz I like to think I've lead a kick ass life so far. And this is because of homework. I thought about all the things I couldn't do, things that I wanted to do but I felt too small to do. I felt in that small moment in time, like I was nothing. That I couldn't do anything. I've had this issue so often that it's often uncontrollable. I wish that everyone were happy, but even I know that that will never happen. I felt that my contributions won't solve anything. I don't know what to do to make it stop, as it's tormented me most of my life. I know it's lame, and I'm lame right now, but I just don't know anymore.Moral of the story, do/don't be me. I know how big the wold is and how much time I have, and I've been told by many people not to worry about it because of how much crap I can get done. I just feel as though I can't do it.


I'm really sorry. I've just wanted to vent for so long. I want to feel better but I just don't know how. :( Hopefully I'll feel better soon. I want to feel better soon.
(P.S. The games were fun if thats any consolation. Also I did well, but that's not the point :P)