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Long Awesome Freedom Weekend Post
10 years ago
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So I've been wanting my bestie in Florida to come visit me in Texas for some time now. ...Like, over a year (they claim there's little to do where they live and there's tons of stuff in DFW). And it came up that there was a possibility she'd be able to visit this summer, so I set aside a couple hundred bucks from A-kon to take her all around town if she could actually make it. Since it's come to be that I'll be moving out of the parents' house soon, this was gonna be like, my last hail mary party vacation before I'd inevitably wind up without any real disposable income for some good while.
Well, at the last minute (literally just days before), she finds out I've got the house to myself while she has a long weekend, and she hauls ass here at two in the morning. And it's July 4th weekend, so everything is going to be packed, but I have soooo much planned for her and we go out and do everything anyway. I mean, she's ten hours away. There's no telling when I'll get to see her cute face again. I'mma spoil her.
And holy shit I did (and so did she spoil me, as well). We did everthing.
She gets here at 2 on Thursday? We go to the mall, hang out at the arcade, take photos in a kawaii ass photobooth where you literally come out looking like you have on circle lenses and you've put a million tacky stickers and accessories on the photo strips... and then we drive all the way across town to the only theater still showing Mad Max in the area, grab our obligatory popcorn and soda, and discover the PLUSHEST, HUGEST seats we have ever encountered at a cinema. We're big ladies, and we felt like children sitting in big ass armchairs. It isn't until 11 that we finally crash but fuck if we don't sleep the sleep of the dead.
Round two, Friday. We drive out like two hours to fucking Glen Rose, Texas, to go drive through the wildlife center. It. Is. Packed. We are in stop and go traffic lines the whole way, but we fed the animals and booped deer nosies and I got a killer sunburn on my left shoulder. Oops. Passed 3 turkeys at different ends of the reserve. Gobbled obscenely at all of them. Only the very last one responded, and much cheering followed. If you're not making dumb noises at animals I don't know who the fuck you are. We spend more money than planned because oh, shit, food. People need to eat. And then we got matching stone necklaces from the gift shop and this adorable bitch buys me a stuFFED BABY POSSOM. His name is Shmookums and I love him. I honestly don't fucking remember what we did when we finally got home. Probably talked 5ever about the meaning of life and passed the fuck out.
FREEDOM EAGLE AMERICA DAY. It's July 4th, ok. We got shit to do. I don't normally do jack shit for the fourth, but here I am driving to the zoo with Six Flags tickets printed out in my glove box. It's gonna be a long ass day. We practically bathe in sunscreen and have the luck of arriving before (most) of the crowd. Apparently the zoo where she lives is shit? Because she's enamored with this place, how big it is, how it's designed, all the pretty enclosures. We don't make it through without the "everything's bigger in Texas" cliche. Because it is. We also don't make it through without me making a right ass out of myself, screaming at a great argus pheasant. It gave me a half ass bark for the ten minutes I spent calling at it. That little fuck.
So then we stop by the house, freshen up, re-bathe in sunscreen, and head back out to the day's real attraction. Six Flags over fucking Texas. We get there and it's so fucked we have to park waaay the fuck out in Timbuktu, and it's hot than a bitch walking up to the main gate. I spent an obscene amount of money on both our tickets and one of those lil Q-bots you rent so you don't have to physically stand in line while you wait for a ride. And for good cause. It's so fucking busy, we only get to use the pass for 3 rides (obv we rode others in the mean time; such is the purpose of this pricey lil shit). Two hour wait times, and it's hotter than a New York hooker out there. Then I find out. She had never ridden a rollercoaster before. Ohhh hell. I point at the biggest, tallest, fastest fucker there and I tell her, "we're gonna work our way up to that guy. By the end of the day, you are going to graduate to the big girl coaster." Every fucking ride, and I mean every one, she freaks out on the ride up the hill. It's fucking precious. To quote her first words on the way down the hill of her first coaster (not a very tall or fast one, but the cart spun as you went down the tracks), "THIS IS SUCH CRAP, ASH." Such beautiful resentment and regret. It was as if I had somehow betrayed her, tricked her, as she willingly submit herself to this mental torture.
We chanted the War Boy mantras from Mad Max to avoid cursing on rides where small children may be present. There was many a scream of "witness" that day.
She did graduate from rollercoaster 101 with flying colors, though. Rode her first tall coaster like a champ and loved it. Brought a tear to my eye, so proud.
They were supposed to have a "spectacular fireworks and laser show," but we were behind a tree where we couldn't see the fireworks. Which were sadly mediocre. It seemed they spent more time on the laser show than the fireworks. Which were cool, don't get me wrong, but 4th of July is all about fireworks. And then a full grown woman right in front of us had an epileptic seizure due to the lazers and we're not actually sure if maybe the show was cut short? Paramedics were on her quickly though, she seemed to be stabilizing as we left. Which was hell, as was to be expected. Soooo many people. Soooo much bottlenecking.
As fate would have it, however... Being parked out on the other side of the damned world was exactly perfect. As we waited for the traffic to clear, we noticed people in lawn chairs all facing the ballpark. Which was spitting distance from our car. Apparently, the game hadn't ended yet, so the fireworks hadn't started. And I know from years of living in DFW that you just don't get better fireworks than those at the ball park. So we stayed. Like an extra hour and a half. And it was bloody beautiful. Front row seats, big ass, expensive fireworks so close it felt like you could touch em.
And that was supposed to be the whole weekend. I was emotionally prepared to say my goodbyes the next morning.
This amazing hoe called in sick and stayed for Sunday to have a chill day. Which included gyros, rose flavored basil seed drink (fit for the damned gods let me tell you), driving to a handful of closed stores, buying some of the best, cheap ass makeup you can find, and then movies, pop corn, and finger nail polish. She brought me early house warming gifts, and I snuck some of the weekend's photos through the printer to smash into a photo album I'd been waiting to give her for like a year. Both of us almost cried. There were many hugs involved.
The entire weekend was borderline dreamlike. I couldn't believe she was here and I was actually able to treat her to all of these things. It's the most genuine fun I've had in a very long time and I miss her already.
Now, I've got a bit of housework to do before the parents get home tomorrow and I'll be back on that queue. Just wanted to share all the shit I got to do this weekend!
Well, at the last minute (literally just days before), she finds out I've got the house to myself while she has a long weekend, and she hauls ass here at two in the morning. And it's July 4th weekend, so everything is going to be packed, but I have soooo much planned for her and we go out and do everything anyway. I mean, she's ten hours away. There's no telling when I'll get to see her cute face again. I'mma spoil her.
And holy shit I did (and so did she spoil me, as well). We did everthing.
She gets here at 2 on Thursday? We go to the mall, hang out at the arcade, take photos in a kawaii ass photobooth where you literally come out looking like you have on circle lenses and you've put a million tacky stickers and accessories on the photo strips... and then we drive all the way across town to the only theater still showing Mad Max in the area, grab our obligatory popcorn and soda, and discover the PLUSHEST, HUGEST seats we have ever encountered at a cinema. We're big ladies, and we felt like children sitting in big ass armchairs. It isn't until 11 that we finally crash but fuck if we don't sleep the sleep of the dead.
Round two, Friday. We drive out like two hours to fucking Glen Rose, Texas, to go drive through the wildlife center. It. Is. Packed. We are in stop and go traffic lines the whole way, but we fed the animals and booped deer nosies and I got a killer sunburn on my left shoulder. Oops. Passed 3 turkeys at different ends of the reserve. Gobbled obscenely at all of them. Only the very last one responded, and much cheering followed. If you're not making dumb noises at animals I don't know who the fuck you are. We spend more money than planned because oh, shit, food. People need to eat. And then we got matching stone necklaces from the gift shop and this adorable bitch buys me a stuFFED BABY POSSOM. His name is Shmookums and I love him. I honestly don't fucking remember what we did when we finally got home. Probably talked 5ever about the meaning of life and passed the fuck out.
FREEDOM EAGLE AMERICA DAY. It's July 4th, ok. We got shit to do. I don't normally do jack shit for the fourth, but here I am driving to the zoo with Six Flags tickets printed out in my glove box. It's gonna be a long ass day. We practically bathe in sunscreen and have the luck of arriving before (most) of the crowd. Apparently the zoo where she lives is shit? Because she's enamored with this place, how big it is, how it's designed, all the pretty enclosures. We don't make it through without the "everything's bigger in Texas" cliche. Because it is. We also don't make it through without me making a right ass out of myself, screaming at a great argus pheasant. It gave me a half ass bark for the ten minutes I spent calling at it. That little fuck.
So then we stop by the house, freshen up, re-bathe in sunscreen, and head back out to the day's real attraction. Six Flags over fucking Texas. We get there and it's so fucked we have to park waaay the fuck out in Timbuktu, and it's hot than a bitch walking up to the main gate. I spent an obscene amount of money on both our tickets and one of those lil Q-bots you rent so you don't have to physically stand in line while you wait for a ride. And for good cause. It's so fucking busy, we only get to use the pass for 3 rides (obv we rode others in the mean time; such is the purpose of this pricey lil shit). Two hour wait times, and it's hotter than a New York hooker out there. Then I find out. She had never ridden a rollercoaster before. Ohhh hell. I point at the biggest, tallest, fastest fucker there and I tell her, "we're gonna work our way up to that guy. By the end of the day, you are going to graduate to the big girl coaster." Every fucking ride, and I mean every one, she freaks out on the ride up the hill. It's fucking precious. To quote her first words on the way down the hill of her first coaster (not a very tall or fast one, but the cart spun as you went down the tracks), "THIS IS SUCH CRAP, ASH." Such beautiful resentment and regret. It was as if I had somehow betrayed her, tricked her, as she willingly submit herself to this mental torture.
We chanted the War Boy mantras from Mad Max to avoid cursing on rides where small children may be present. There was many a scream of "witness" that day.
She did graduate from rollercoaster 101 with flying colors, though. Rode her first tall coaster like a champ and loved it. Brought a tear to my eye, so proud.
They were supposed to have a "spectacular fireworks and laser show," but we were behind a tree where we couldn't see the fireworks. Which were sadly mediocre. It seemed they spent more time on the laser show than the fireworks. Which were cool, don't get me wrong, but 4th of July is all about fireworks. And then a full grown woman right in front of us had an epileptic seizure due to the lazers and we're not actually sure if maybe the show was cut short? Paramedics were on her quickly though, she seemed to be stabilizing as we left. Which was hell, as was to be expected. Soooo many people. Soooo much bottlenecking.
As fate would have it, however... Being parked out on the other side of the damned world was exactly perfect. As we waited for the traffic to clear, we noticed people in lawn chairs all facing the ballpark. Which was spitting distance from our car. Apparently, the game hadn't ended yet, so the fireworks hadn't started. And I know from years of living in DFW that you just don't get better fireworks than those at the ball park. So we stayed. Like an extra hour and a half. And it was bloody beautiful. Front row seats, big ass, expensive fireworks so close it felt like you could touch em.
And that was supposed to be the whole weekend. I was emotionally prepared to say my goodbyes the next morning.
This amazing hoe called in sick and stayed for Sunday to have a chill day. Which included gyros, rose flavored basil seed drink (fit for the damned gods let me tell you), driving to a handful of closed stores, buying some of the best, cheap ass makeup you can find, and then movies, pop corn, and finger nail polish. She brought me early house warming gifts, and I snuck some of the weekend's photos through the printer to smash into a photo album I'd been waiting to give her for like a year. Both of us almost cried. There were many hugs involved.
The entire weekend was borderline dreamlike. I couldn't believe she was here and I was actually able to treat her to all of these things. It's the most genuine fun I've had in a very long time and I miss her already.
Now, I've got a bit of housework to do before the parents get home tomorrow and I'll be back on that queue. Just wanted to share all the shit I got to do this weekend!
Gei
~gei
Sounds like you had a amazing time, glad it went so great.
