Love and Relationships:

First off, don’t get too obsessed with what I’m about to write, because some of this may seem at first to be one sided, but isn’t really. I’m a romantic individual. I’ve been in love before and am in love now. I’ve had a relationship build and fall apart, and then built a new one. I’ve had someone I cared for deeply pass away. I’m not what can be called super experienced, but neither am I ignorant of the pros and cons of relationships. Or love.

It’s a powerful emotion that motivates and empowers us to greater and better things. It impels us to become better people and more caring to those around us. It truly is an amazing emotion.

That said, I was shown some internet posts recently, and then started looking more in depth online to discover a sort of cartoon equivalent to romance existing out there. People, lots of them, post cute, almost greeting card style quotes or adorable pictures of romance or romantic involvement. Images of couples cuddling while looking into each other’s eyes, or spooning in bed, alongside adorable quotes. So, consider this a sort of tongue in cheek reality check. Most of what you will read is from first-hand experience.

Yes, a couple spooning together in bed is cute, romantic and the stuff of movies, but they never seem to focus on the other side of this… sure spooning is all nice and adorable as long as one of you… especially the one pointing rear into the spoon doesn’t have to fart. A couple cuddling in bed at night is amazing, especially as you press your cheek to theirs, but this image loses its punch when they start to snore directly into your ears. You wake up and see their face first thing in the morning, next to yours, the first rays of sun touching them is an amazing image worth savoring until they say good morning and you are hit with morning breath. Brushing your teeth side by side in the morning is kind of cute and speaks of well adjusted relationships, right? But that only lasts until you walk into the same bathroom later and hit that invisible WALL. The one you smell first and then realize your mate is on the toilet.

Dancing together romantically at night is kept in check by muscle pains and ointments. Going out on the town for a show and dinner? Don’t forget the enthusiastic discussions on the best way to drive there. Ever see those images of a couple watching TV together? Adorable. But in a real relationship, half the time it’s a compromise on what to watch because one of you doesn’t like the show and you still want to watch together. Long romantic drives together are balanced by getting into your car, only to discover your mate has let the car get nearly empty and you have to fill it up before you go where you planned… and you were already late. Cleaning the house together is amazing… unless you have slightly different views on what cleaning means or how clean something must be. Sharing ice cream? A wonderful romantic way to spend the evening together. Not so much fun is getting up when you have a craving for some and discovering your lover put back the container with only two spoonfuls of ice cream left. “It’s not empty.” They argue.

The picture and the romantic postcards show us teddy bears and kisses. But the other side of the coin is laundry, dirty underwear and bills. One side is hearts and bubbles and ponies. The other is dandruff and picking pimples, toes and noses…

And it’s worth every moment.

Sure I don’t know ANY furry artist out there who will draw BOTH sides of a romantic relationship. There is a reason we focus on the nicer stuff. But it’s there. It’s part of every relationship, good or bad. You cannot escape it, and if you don’t see it, you may be the one doing the majority of it, but in the end, love means accepting them.

For all that they are. Suffering from depressions? Anxiety disorders? Likes to drink from cartons? Forgets your friends are over and walks out naked? Moves your stuff around so you cannot find it? Steals the covers? The lists go on and on. And you take all of that in with the good stuff.

It reminds you why you are in love in the first place. Not because they are pretty or handsome, or because they are nice or poetic. But you take it all in, good and bad and when you suddenly wake up one day and realize you have been together for years, you find yourself cherishing the good… and the bad. And when they leave you for whatever reason, you’ll remember it all.

So post your happy pictures of romantic moments. By all means, relish the good moments. But never forget the other side of the coin… it’s always there, waiting like the dirty underwear in your laundry.