I'm sitting here looking up death and wondering why I am. I don't cry, I don't get angry. Its just a somber feeling. Somber and sorry. I put my energy into so many things. Stupid, good, bad, whatever. But what am I doing... I'm not helping the people who really need it. I'm not helping the ones I should be. I want to make everyone smile I want to make the world a better place. I'm just one person though... I can't do it... Its an impossible want and a draining desire... I am writing this pretty out of the blue. Its not a suicide note or anything. Its just me writing down my thoughts right now. I want to start making something out of what I wish to do. All the things I create I find there is no actual heart in it. there are glimpses of it showing up, but It just seems so hollow... I want to fill everything I wish to do with my true feelings. I don't want to let myself get pushed around. I fight for others, but I can't hope that others fight for me. Even if things are dark for me and I get stepped on. I need to start doing what I so easily throw around in unclear riddles. I want to do things, do something, be something, make something bigger than myself. So until I figure it out, farewell. Random ramblings of a lost star.