Hmm... Have you tried talking to a counselor about your problems?

As for optimists and people who value order, well, didn't you show  leothetiger an article about how our world in reality is actually becoming a better place? As for optimists who value order (oh crap, I'm one of those people), I think that's the reality we're heading to because of advancing technologies and the need to have a more ordered society to maintain prosperity in their society with respect to human rights like freedom of thought and speech. I base my optimism based on historical statistics as well as eventual realities like thorium replacing gas as a source of energy for everything as part of advancing technologies. There will always be flaws in everything even in the most idealistic societies like Switzerland.

I already did talk to a counselo, and the diagonsis is depression and anxiety.

Yeah I did do that. It was actually pretty nice.

And, actually simply writing this post and showing it to you is a load off my chest.