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...And Here's What I Plan To Do About It. (part 2/2)
10 years ago
[rawrness]
[ PLEASE FOLLOW AND SUPPORT ME ON PATREON! Or follow my creative progress (Productivity Revolution) HERE! ]
This is part 2 of my 2 part journal series (the first one being HERE). This is the positive journal. Yanno, the one with the actual productive PLAN. If you want to skip all the bullshit and get to that part, please scroll down to the TL;DR part below. Especially if you happen to like my art... hint hint. ;)
"You need to work with the true essence of who you are...
Your juice, your gasoline, your power, your aura, your passion.
How many people do you know who say, "I wish I were doing this instead of what I am doing now"?
'Well, why aren't you?...'"
Those are just a few excerpts from the book that my friend published called "Living A Rock Star Life". If that sounds familiar, it's because I drew the cover for it! It's also slightly ironic because I met her in the cab, back when she was just a passenger, before first getting to know her. And now her words are causing me to carefully consider what it is I'm doing with my life, what it is I truly want, and what I have to do to achieve it.
Here's a hint... it ain't driving a fucking cab for the rest of my life, wallowing in poverty, lamenting the loss of my passions and time while being completely and utterly miserable. I think I've had enough of that for a while. I'd like to go back to being happy now, kthx.
And hopefully, the decision that I've made today will help me do that.
It's funny, but I started down the road to this decision today, after talking to this same friend. She's asked me to help her make a professional video (YAY!) helping her advertise and market her book. And while I sat in her house discussing the ideas I had for the video, and my vision, I felt inspired. I enjoyed the fact that I actually knew what I was talking about, and it seemed to excite her too. It gave me a bit of a confidence boost, actually.
And it made me realize... Goddamn, I am in the wrong line of work.
Like I said in my previous journal (if you managed to wade through all the toxic, negative brain sludge I expelled all over it), my cab driving job used to be fun. It was supposed to be a temporary fix, since I needed a job after moving back in with Mom. And frankly, the last job I had before moving pretty much sucked out every ounce of creative inspiration and desire I had to continue working in the design and multimedia field.
Bottom line is, the cab job was a nice change of pace. And I needed that.
But now, I need something else.
Mostly what I need is money, but that's not the only thing. If it were that simple, I'd go to law school or some shit (yeah right, MORE loans?! DX)
I do need money, yes. That is obvious. But what else is obviously missing is passion.
I miss having time to do the things I enjoy. I miss drawing art, making videos, playing music. But most of all, I miss the connection I used to have with the furry fandom, back when I had time and energy for such things (before it withered and dried up with this asstastic and asinine cab job).
And out of everything I miss, and everything I love... if there was one thing I miss the most that could be summed up in one short sentence....
I miss creating for the furry fandom.
That, and all the creative endeavors it entails, is my true, honest-to-god passion. It's what I enjoy doing the most, and it's what I miss the most since losing my free time.
And I think I have a way to get it back.
If I could go back to the subject of the book cover I did for my friend... That cover took me a LONG-ASS FUCKING TIME! Way longer than it should have. Of course it did. It was my very first published cover, and it was for a good friend. I wanted it to be my very best.
However, due to having to take time away from the cab job, I actually lost a lot of money doing this. I certainly lost more money than I got paid.
"Wait, what?" I hear you think (because I am in your head, hearing your thoughts... wOOoOOOooooOoOoOOoo... ahem.)
"How can you lose money doing a professional book cover as freelance? Isn't that supposed to bolster your income?"
Well, yes, but not with THIS job.
Because in order to make anything decent with THIS job, I have to spend 60 hours driving around waiting for runs. Also because the first 40 hours or so is usually spent just trying to earn the fucking lease. And if I work just long enough to earn the lease and nothing else (or in this case, pay out of my fucking pocket to cover it)... well, let's just say that is not a very sound business practice.
This job is holding me back. It has for a while. If you look through my gallery and compare the years, the last 3 years have had woefully little for actual art uploads (photos and commissions drawn by others don't count). It started well enough, since I was able to power through some pencil sketch commissions during my down time. But that was back BEFORE the dispatch box, when I had no option but to sit around and wait for the dispatcher to call me on the phone.
Back then, I could sometimes wait 3-4 hours for a run. But we weren't required to pay a full $400 lease at the time, we only paid 40% of our earnings. Or in other words, back then if I earned $400, I would have earned $240 (or 60%). Nowadays, if I earned $400, I have earned nothing.
The $400 flat lease thing is only better when I earned more than $1000 (when the earnings of the old way and the new way were equal at $600). But it's been a looooong time since I've earned that. Between business being slower, more drivers, less airport runs (because they all are regulars for other drivers now)...
Well anyways, if you want to read more of me bitching about my job, go back and read the first journal. X3
Point of the matter is, having to dig myself out of a $400 hole each week before I make any money is not only difficult and counterproductive, it's stupid. And to have a system set up to where I HAVE to put in 70 hours or I don't make anything?!... O,o
It's no wonder I never have time for anything.
But that is about to change. Because here's what I'm going to do.
I'm going to support myself doing what I love... creating for the fandom.
Now, there might be some skepticism in you about this idea, but hear me out.
First thing's first: It can't possibly be much worse than what I'm doing now.
Secondly (and here's the kicker)... I can STILL DRIVE MY AIRPORT REGULARS.
Think about it. I have about 5 airport regulars who tend to fly weekly (though usually not all at the same time) as well as a good handful of others who fly once in a while. This week, I took 3 of them to the airport. I also picked them up when they returned.
The amount that I earned from those regular customers was $340. Subtract the $400 lease, I've made -$60. Awesome.
But these guys are my regulars. Not only would they likely continue to ride with me if I quit my cab job and got a new car, they would probably be thrilled to fucking death that they don't have to ride in a POS rickety-ass cab! So instead of STILL being down $60 to my lease, I'd be UP $340 AND they'd get to ride in a nicer car! All I gotta do is get one of those credit card swipers for my iPhone and I'm set.
Now does it sound like making a living with my art might be a little more attainable? ;)
My plan is to supplement my regular cab...er... private chauffeur money with money earned from furry commissions (or vice versa)... by making furry commissions my FULL TIME JOB. Like, at least 40 hours and 5 days a week.
Yes, I'm dead serious.
"But JT, you SUCK at getting commissions done! You never get around to them!"
Yeah, well... that was before they were my full time job that I depended on to get by. And besides, don't you think my ACTUAL full time job had something to do with me never getting commissions done?
To be completely honest, I don't always prioritize things well. Commissions sometimes get pushed back in favor of other things, if there is no deadline. However, with this being my actual job that I depend on to make a living, you bet your sweet, fuzzy ass I'm going to prioritize commissions over everything else. Because ... and this is important... I will not take more commissions if I haven't finished the ones from the week prior. Commissions are to be done in batches, and I do not intend to overexert myself by taking on too much at once. My intention is to take money for a commission right before I start it and not before. Then I intend to stream my progress, both so you know I'm working on them, and so it keeps a fire under my ass and doesn't allow me to procrastinate.
Of course I will ask for a little lenience as I acclimate myself to this practice, but the days of taking a dozen commissions and then not working on them are done. This will be my job now. There is no excuse.
"But... you're like, really.... REALLY slow."
Yes. I'll admit, I am a slow artist. But if I'm going to be serious about this, I will have to speed up. I will be quite conscious of my pace, and because I cannot afford to let things pile up, there are times I'm going to have to cut a corner or two. This is not to say I will half-ass anything, but if you know me, you know I can be very perfectionist and OCD when it comes to details. I'll just have to pick and choose my time-battles. Over time, I'd like to think my speed will improve to the point I can include all those yummy details I love so much without sacrificing time.
Also, do you remember that Iron Artist I did back in the day, like 2010? Where I took 50 "sketch" (HA!) commissions and ended up doing full color on them all? Well for one, I can't afford to go above and beyond without sufficient payment for that extra time now. And two, since I was unemployed and was working on those commissions pretty much full time, they got done relatively fast, didn't they? And yes, I finished them all. ;3
"But... wait, what about all the other commissions you already have?"
Those will be done in "free time". Since I'm hoping to do commissions 5 days a week, I'll still have time to work on other things. This will include older commissions, as well as other ventures like fursuit videos, music, and... comics! ^^
My goal would be to get at LEAST one old commission done a week, along with my weekly new commission goal. Even if I have to draw all week, at least I'll be working nonstop doing something I actually ENJOY as opposed to wasting my time in a cab. (within reason... burnout would suck). Eventually, my other projects will take off as well, since I don't think I'll be lacking in the motivation department. ;)
"But JT..."
NO BUTS. I'm serious about this venture. This is probably my best chance to do what I love doing while contributing to the fandom AND supporting myself. My airport regulars will help a lot in this. And I think it's realistic I can make $300 a week with just my art, probably more once I get faster (or in higher demand to the point I can raise my prices).
Yes I will do YCH's. Yes I have some ideas for introducing new characters specifically for this artistic venture (to be used with other people's characters, should they so choose). Yes I will do standard full body sketch, ink, and color pics, as well as icons both animated and static.
And yes, I'll be drawing a lot more porn. ;)
Point is, I don't like the life I have now as a penniless cab driver. If I'm going to starve, I'm going to starve being an ARTIST, following my passion, and trying my ass off at what I love to do. I keep saying I don't have time. I keep saying I wish I could support myself with my art. I keep saying I have a ton of ideas (like, 16 metric tons of 'em) and I'll never have the time to get them out. And now, with this plan, I will have more time. And I'll be motivated. And I'll get better and BETTER in time the more I do this.
And if I never try, how am I ever going to know?
This won't happen overnight (probably) because I still need to get a car, and Kitty will still need to find a job (just in case this doesn't take off as quickly as I'd like). But at the very least, my regular customers and a bare minimum of art commissions will keep me afloat.
ALSO, I do intend to use some of this newfound time to spruce up my portfolio website, build up my Adobe Suite skills again, and eventually if it comes down to it, I will apply for jobs in my selected field. But they're probably not going to hire me coming straight off a 3 year lay-off working as a cab driver.
(They also won't hire me if I show them all the new porn I've drawn... >,> but... heh. Anyways. ^_^)
I'm really, truly excited about this step. Trust me, I know it's a BIG one, but I think it's a necessary one. This is my dream, and dreams cannot be attained without risk. And in the end, it will result in A LOT more art and fun content from me! And that, hopefully, is a win-win. ^^
And now... finally...
TL;DR
As soon as I am able to (must attain car, some other odds and ends), I will be quitting my job at Yellow Cab and starting my own business as a FULL TIME FURRY ARTIST, following my passion and hoping for the best (and yes, it will be better than my current job, I promise). I will be taking it VERY seriously, and I hope to come across as very professional and pleasant to work with (with much faster results than in the past!) Also, this means I should have more free time, allowing me to continue to produce content for you, such as fursuit videos, music, and comics, which hopefully will eventually generate more interest/income!
Also, yes. I will be drawing porn. ;)
TL;DRx2
Life changes. Job quit. More Furry porn.
Wish me luck! And if you may be interested in a commission, let me know! I'll need to gauge demand before I do this for real.
Let's make some dreams happen. ;3
-JT
"You need to work with the true essence of who you are...
Your juice, your gasoline, your power, your aura, your passion.
How many people do you know who say, "I wish I were doing this instead of what I am doing now"?
'Well, why aren't you?...'"
Those are just a few excerpts from the book that my friend published called "Living A Rock Star Life". If that sounds familiar, it's because I drew the cover for it! It's also slightly ironic because I met her in the cab, back when she was just a passenger, before first getting to know her. And now her words are causing me to carefully consider what it is I'm doing with my life, what it is I truly want, and what I have to do to achieve it.
Here's a hint... it ain't driving a fucking cab for the rest of my life, wallowing in poverty, lamenting the loss of my passions and time while being completely and utterly miserable. I think I've had enough of that for a while. I'd like to go back to being happy now, kthx.
And hopefully, the decision that I've made today will help me do that.
It's funny, but I started down the road to this decision today, after talking to this same friend. She's asked me to help her make a professional video (YAY!) helping her advertise and market her book. And while I sat in her house discussing the ideas I had for the video, and my vision, I felt inspired. I enjoyed the fact that I actually knew what I was talking about, and it seemed to excite her too. It gave me a bit of a confidence boost, actually.
And it made me realize... Goddamn, I am in the wrong line of work.
Like I said in my previous journal (if you managed to wade through all the toxic, negative brain sludge I expelled all over it), my cab driving job used to be fun. It was supposed to be a temporary fix, since I needed a job after moving back in with Mom. And frankly, the last job I had before moving pretty much sucked out every ounce of creative inspiration and desire I had to continue working in the design and multimedia field.
Bottom line is, the cab job was a nice change of pace. And I needed that.
But now, I need something else.
Mostly what I need is money, but that's not the only thing. If it were that simple, I'd go to law school or some shit (yeah right, MORE loans?! DX)
I do need money, yes. That is obvious. But what else is obviously missing is passion.
I miss having time to do the things I enjoy. I miss drawing art, making videos, playing music. But most of all, I miss the connection I used to have with the furry fandom, back when I had time and energy for such things (before it withered and dried up with this asstastic and asinine cab job).
And out of everything I miss, and everything I love... if there was one thing I miss the most that could be summed up in one short sentence....
I miss creating for the furry fandom.
That, and all the creative endeavors it entails, is my true, honest-to-god passion. It's what I enjoy doing the most, and it's what I miss the most since losing my free time.
And I think I have a way to get it back.
If I could go back to the subject of the book cover I did for my friend... That cover took me a LONG-ASS FUCKING TIME! Way longer than it should have. Of course it did. It was my very first published cover, and it was for a good friend. I wanted it to be my very best.
However, due to having to take time away from the cab job, I actually lost a lot of money doing this. I certainly lost more money than I got paid.
"Wait, what?" I hear you think (because I am in your head, hearing your thoughts... wOOoOOOooooOoOoOOoo... ahem.)
"How can you lose money doing a professional book cover as freelance? Isn't that supposed to bolster your income?"
Well, yes, but not with THIS job.
Because in order to make anything decent with THIS job, I have to spend 60 hours driving around waiting for runs. Also because the first 40 hours or so is usually spent just trying to earn the fucking lease. And if I work just long enough to earn the lease and nothing else (or in this case, pay out of my fucking pocket to cover it)... well, let's just say that is not a very sound business practice.
This job is holding me back. It has for a while. If you look through my gallery and compare the years, the last 3 years have had woefully little for actual art uploads (photos and commissions drawn by others don't count). It started well enough, since I was able to power through some pencil sketch commissions during my down time. But that was back BEFORE the dispatch box, when I had no option but to sit around and wait for the dispatcher to call me on the phone.
Back then, I could sometimes wait 3-4 hours for a run. But we weren't required to pay a full $400 lease at the time, we only paid 40% of our earnings. Or in other words, back then if I earned $400, I would have earned $240 (or 60%). Nowadays, if I earned $400, I have earned nothing.
The $400 flat lease thing is only better when I earned more than $1000 (when the earnings of the old way and the new way were equal at $600). But it's been a looooong time since I've earned that. Between business being slower, more drivers, less airport runs (because they all are regulars for other drivers now)...
Well anyways, if you want to read more of me bitching about my job, go back and read the first journal. X3
Point of the matter is, having to dig myself out of a $400 hole each week before I make any money is not only difficult and counterproductive, it's stupid. And to have a system set up to where I HAVE to put in 70 hours or I don't make anything?!... O,o
It's no wonder I never have time for anything.
But that is about to change. Because here's what I'm going to do.
I'm going to support myself doing what I love... creating for the fandom.
Now, there might be some skepticism in you about this idea, but hear me out.
First thing's first: It can't possibly be much worse than what I'm doing now.
Secondly (and here's the kicker)... I can STILL DRIVE MY AIRPORT REGULARS.
Think about it. I have about 5 airport regulars who tend to fly weekly (though usually not all at the same time) as well as a good handful of others who fly once in a while. This week, I took 3 of them to the airport. I also picked them up when they returned.
The amount that I earned from those regular customers was $340. Subtract the $400 lease, I've made -$60. Awesome.
But these guys are my regulars. Not only would they likely continue to ride with me if I quit my cab job and got a new car, they would probably be thrilled to fucking death that they don't have to ride in a POS rickety-ass cab! So instead of STILL being down $60 to my lease, I'd be UP $340 AND they'd get to ride in a nicer car! All I gotta do is get one of those credit card swipers for my iPhone and I'm set.
Now does it sound like making a living with my art might be a little more attainable? ;)
My plan is to supplement my regular cab...er... private chauffeur money with money earned from furry commissions (or vice versa)... by making furry commissions my FULL TIME JOB. Like, at least 40 hours and 5 days a week.
Yes, I'm dead serious.
"But JT, you SUCK at getting commissions done! You never get around to them!"
Yeah, well... that was before they were my full time job that I depended on to get by. And besides, don't you think my ACTUAL full time job had something to do with me never getting commissions done?
To be completely honest, I don't always prioritize things well. Commissions sometimes get pushed back in favor of other things, if there is no deadline. However, with this being my actual job that I depend on to make a living, you bet your sweet, fuzzy ass I'm going to prioritize commissions over everything else. Because ... and this is important... I will not take more commissions if I haven't finished the ones from the week prior. Commissions are to be done in batches, and I do not intend to overexert myself by taking on too much at once. My intention is to take money for a commission right before I start it and not before. Then I intend to stream my progress, both so you know I'm working on them, and so it keeps a fire under my ass and doesn't allow me to procrastinate.
Of course I will ask for a little lenience as I acclimate myself to this practice, but the days of taking a dozen commissions and then not working on them are done. This will be my job now. There is no excuse.
"But... you're like, really.... REALLY slow."
Yes. I'll admit, I am a slow artist. But if I'm going to be serious about this, I will have to speed up. I will be quite conscious of my pace, and because I cannot afford to let things pile up, there are times I'm going to have to cut a corner or two. This is not to say I will half-ass anything, but if you know me, you know I can be very perfectionist and OCD when it comes to details. I'll just have to pick and choose my time-battles. Over time, I'd like to think my speed will improve to the point I can include all those yummy details I love so much without sacrificing time.
Also, do you remember that Iron Artist I did back in the day, like 2010? Where I took 50 "sketch" (HA!) commissions and ended up doing full color on them all? Well for one, I can't afford to go above and beyond without sufficient payment for that extra time now. And two, since I was unemployed and was working on those commissions pretty much full time, they got done relatively fast, didn't they? And yes, I finished them all. ;3
"But... wait, what about all the other commissions you already have?"
Those will be done in "free time". Since I'm hoping to do commissions 5 days a week, I'll still have time to work on other things. This will include older commissions, as well as other ventures like fursuit videos, music, and... comics! ^^
My goal would be to get at LEAST one old commission done a week, along with my weekly new commission goal. Even if I have to draw all week, at least I'll be working nonstop doing something I actually ENJOY as opposed to wasting my time in a cab. (within reason... burnout would suck). Eventually, my other projects will take off as well, since I don't think I'll be lacking in the motivation department. ;)
"But JT..."
NO BUTS. I'm serious about this venture. This is probably my best chance to do what I love doing while contributing to the fandom AND supporting myself. My airport regulars will help a lot in this. And I think it's realistic I can make $300 a week with just my art, probably more once I get faster (or in higher demand to the point I can raise my prices).
Yes I will do YCH's. Yes I have some ideas for introducing new characters specifically for this artistic venture (to be used with other people's characters, should they so choose). Yes I will do standard full body sketch, ink, and color pics, as well as icons both animated and static.
And yes, I'll be drawing a lot more porn. ;)
Point is, I don't like the life I have now as a penniless cab driver. If I'm going to starve, I'm going to starve being an ARTIST, following my passion, and trying my ass off at what I love to do. I keep saying I don't have time. I keep saying I wish I could support myself with my art. I keep saying I have a ton of ideas (like, 16 metric tons of 'em) and I'll never have the time to get them out. And now, with this plan, I will have more time. And I'll be motivated. And I'll get better and BETTER in time the more I do this.
And if I never try, how am I ever going to know?
This won't happen overnight (probably) because I still need to get a car, and Kitty will still need to find a job (just in case this doesn't take off as quickly as I'd like). But at the very least, my regular customers and a bare minimum of art commissions will keep me afloat.
ALSO, I do intend to use some of this newfound time to spruce up my portfolio website, build up my Adobe Suite skills again, and eventually if it comes down to it, I will apply for jobs in my selected field. But they're probably not going to hire me coming straight off a 3 year lay-off working as a cab driver.
(They also won't hire me if I show them all the new porn I've drawn... >,> but... heh. Anyways. ^_^)
I'm really, truly excited about this step. Trust me, I know it's a BIG one, but I think it's a necessary one. This is my dream, and dreams cannot be attained without risk. And in the end, it will result in A LOT more art and fun content from me! And that, hopefully, is a win-win. ^^
And now... finally...
TL;DR
As soon as I am able to (must attain car, some other odds and ends), I will be quitting my job at Yellow Cab and starting my own business as a FULL TIME FURRY ARTIST, following my passion and hoping for the best (and yes, it will be better than my current job, I promise). I will be taking it VERY seriously, and I hope to come across as very professional and pleasant to work with (with much faster results than in the past!) Also, this means I should have more free time, allowing me to continue to produce content for you, such as fursuit videos, music, and comics, which hopefully will eventually generate more interest/income!
Also, yes. I will be drawing porn. ;)
TL;DRx2
Life changes. Job quit. More Furry porn.
Wish me luck! And if you may be interested in a commission, let me know! I'll need to gauge demand before I do this for real.
Let's make some dreams happen. ;3
-JT
Thank you for the luck wishings. ^^
This new plan isn't exactly going to light my bank account ablaze with riches either, but I know in my heart that it will reignite that creative passion again. Instead of scraping by and having no free time for art, I can scrape by doing what I love. And with luck, it will grow from there. And I'll finally feel more fulfilled and happy, and I can finally give art to the fandom again. ^__^
If I'm making a little here and a little there with personal projects (such as through a Patreon, which now seems more appropriate than ever) it will boost my weekly income and allow me to put more time into things like comics, music, videos, etc, instead of depending fully on commissions. It might not happen immediately, but as the demand and pace pick up, I hope it will allow for more free time to do those things.
Maybe one day, with a lot of hard work and some luck, I can support myself through my own creative endeavors alone! How cool would that be? ^__^ *wistful sigh*
2, yay i can get art from you (non porn :p )
3, keep the R+ stuff on a second account o it don't affect your ability to get a job if one comes up
4, yay :D i look forward to seeing this happen :D
2) Absolutely! More the merrier! :3
3) I will make sure my FA account doesn't contain any reference to my real name or vice-versa, so that shouldn't be a problem.
4) Me too! I hope this works out! :D
Its good to hear that you came up with a plan to get everything sorted out and take control of everything. (not even going to ask about fletcher apts at this point) It would be nice to see more of your artwork again and seeing you do what you love.
I have known you for a long time and have seen how things have gone for you and know you can pull this off. You have pulled off so many great and awesome things in the past and can't wait to see what you pull off now.
Best of luck to you JT.
I know my plan is not foolproof, and it will take time to fully come to fruition, but I've learned that unless I pick a direction and attack it head-on like a pissed off locomotive, it's not going to work. My only chance of real success with this is if I just fucking go for it.
There's a reason I've never proclaimed Fletcher Apts to be done. It's not done. It WILL come back. It's just been in a very long coma. :P But bringing that back, maybe with a new focus and some Patreon backing from those who wish to support it, is part of this plan. :3
I'll be hitting you up for sure.
For example, I didn't even know you did those flail icons of yours. ;)
Anyway, I wish you luck with it. I'm trying a few things myself in the hopes of getting someplace I had nearly given up on getting. One thing at a time. I'm looking forward to what you'll create. ;)
I saw someone up there mention Fletcher Apts, I sort of vaguely remember it...
Hey, you remember Fletcher Apts vaguely, that's better than most people. X3
I hope your stream went well!
Stream went pretty well! A few technical glitches, but I'm very encouraged about continuing them in the future. :)
Good to hear. :)