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The easy way out ....DO NOT READ . DO NOT !
10 years ago
DO NOT READ LAST WARNING , if you don't like vents , seriously don't read this , it's a major and pathetic vent , seriously one of the most pathetic things ever , don't waste your time ! It's for myself I swear , I don't have any intention of expecting or wanting people to reply to this . If you have feedback feel free to say something , but otherwise HUGE VENT BELOW
its so tempting
I wanna quit so bad
Quit my projects for class
Going online
Bother caring for other people
Myself
Meh
If I didn't write this journal just to notice my stupid self and see how stupid I sounded I probably would of taken one of the above things , just ... Why though ... I Why does everything have to be so hard ? People say oh it's easy when it comes to certain things , just cause it was easy for them or it's harder for someone else doesn't mean anything there should not be a needed comparison . I am me
I can't handle stress well
I can't bare the sight of peoppe destroying themselves in front of me
I can't stand myself knowing I hurt someone else intentionally
I can't do a lot of things
I can't even talk to anyone I know in real life because I am alone and I know it
It kills me some days and nights knowing how alone I really am
I tried taking the easy way out before
It only made things worse
There are hard things I want to do ... But my body fights myself more then it does others
I want to be able to join my track team, I can't because of a growth deficiency which requires surgery
I want to be able to draw , but my mind hurts when I apply comparison ...I need to become more .... Less critical ...
I want to have someone I can give my heart to ... But God those that need fixing more then anything , it's attatched to my damn brain for life support and remembers all the bad things ...
I want to hate myself less ... And I keep reading this I don't know why I'm posting it ... I am hoping it is like a new years resolution I finally follow through on.... Im sorry to anyone who read this ... It was for myself more then anything 
You can't imagine how often I felt like that at university and considered it the biggest mistake I ever did. It's hard, it's tough, it's painful... but you gotta be a man for once and struggle through all the stress. It's a step forward to a better life... a canceled school in your timeline is next to a death sentence for employers.
:c I know just vent! You need to get this off your system, it's the worst to have nobody to just vent it all out who understands.
Feeling so similar, incapable of relationsships and making friends, it destroys one slowly... please cling to the friends you have and don't do the same mistakes I do. Just be strong, still secretly care immensly about your well being, even if I am incapable of showing it.
Break those barriers.
This is the moment that will define you to yourself. It is also the moment of your greatest triumph.
External forces working against you? That's easy mode. Internal thoughts working against you? That's the hard shit. If you can pull yourself through yourself then you can do any of that shit. Project? Easy. School? Easy. Giving yourself to others? Easy. Once you've given yourself to yourself, you can give it to others.
Scream and rage and hate and cry and thrash and flail and waste and die, but never, don't never, ever give it up. Fake it if you have to. Fake it and lie until the lie becomes truth and the fake becomes real. It works. It's all in your head and your head is your greatest ally and biggest weakness. Trick yourself, twist yourself, break yourself, and laugh as it all falls into place.
I cope poorly with school related stress as well. I did terribly my first few years, but eventually I got my act together. If you feel like what you're taking is too much you can try taking less credits next time if that's an option. I found my happy place with taking two classes per quarter since I'm very bad at juggling work and 3+ classes tends to overwhelm me.
Don't make yourself miserable! A college degree does open up a lot of doors though!
I won't kick yo' butt so you get shit done because no ass kicking will make you want to do stuff more than you do now (not even if it's you who's kicking your own ass).
I'd suggest eating bananas (because those make you happy... and have a funny shape). That is something everyone can do!
When things get hard I think it's wise to try to step back a bit and think what you CAN do to make things work the best; it is no use to think of "solutions" you can't achieve.
If you can do it, try tackling things one or two at the same time, so it becomes more bare-able. Try to solve the ones that require less time and effort 1st but don't neglect the bigger ones. Don't ignore the problems forever, that might be counterproductive. Being able to solve the small problems will leave room to treat the bigger ones...
Try noting all your problems somewhere and see what you can do for each to be solved and when; don't set impossible deadlines to get stuff done... don't procrastinate on getting shit fixed!... Hmm.. Ah, don't forget resting is extreeemely important too so try to always make room for yourself and even try pampering yourself a bit everyday. Procrastinating and resting are two different things, though!
And that's all i can think of right now!