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【8/11/2015】 Mini Rant and some Depressing thoughts..
10 years ago
General
This is probably getting irritating to some ( even all) but this is the only place where I can vent and no one that I know in real life can see this.
Since I have been working at a fast-food chain restaurant, they tend to give the beeest hours, the night is my morning and the morning is my night. I would be lucky to get a day off on the weekend, or possibly 2 days off. When I do get those days off, I am usually have nothing to do or go anywhere ( due i still have yet to get my license but I am driving home from work when my mom picks me up). Anyways I asked my friend to come and hang out at my house and swim to basically catch up since its been 6 months the last time I seen her. She asked her parents if it can be okay ( yes we 19 year olds who don't drive have to ask our parents), I asked her 6 days before my day off. On my day off she finally replied she can't and I was bummed out.
Next I find out that she can plan a day with her boyfriend to do all of these things and how they were going to the museum, the zoo, and places to eat.. I got pissed and slightly heart broken. I know when you are with a human being for love/lust/something-there you wan to do anything and everything with them but you can't answer your friend who has been there since 6th grade 3 hours of your day and enjoy your company? I have no boyfriend, I see my family every time I am off, and I do talk to my co-workers but they all either quit/new or I am just friendly with them and I would just want to have that female friend of mine to talk to me and enjoy living.
Another thing is I am too hard on myself physically and mentally. I do act like that typical teenage girl who denys that I am good looking at some way. I know I am not pretty. When my own mother says I am not a 100% best if I don't play dress up and have my god-like make-up on and she reminds me every day( even my dad) I need to lose weight ever since I was little. I know that if I don't lose it now that I will have worse health conditions when I get older and have a harder time burning the fat off. They say they love me for who I am but is that true? Sure you bust your guys ass to please me in some way and help me in my life but your words kept a burden and it is slowly getting heavier.
I am sorry for this long journal but I don't want to seem as a attention seeker on Facebook or cause any stupid fights on there as well ( and I definitely don't want some of my co-workers to know). Having this rant help me slightly make a rain cloud over my head to stop raining but it stopped for now.
