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RMFC/Life Updates TL;DR
10 years ago
General
Well I went to my first ever furry convention last week, RMFC in Denver.
The convention itself was fun, but what really made it a blast was the people I was with
mylescougar, 
tsebresos, 
listigaraven, 
banditt, and 
bexis. Without them I'd have probably been a social shut in. It also helped that with the aid of Tsebresos I was able to finish my fursuit on Friday of the con (pictures soon to come).
Fursuiting was by far the best thing about the convention. Unfortunately I went there under massive sleep deprivation as I had been staying up late and waking up early consistently for the week leading up to the con, especially the night before, working on my fursuit. So I didn't have as much energy as I would have liked to get the full experience. These things aside, it was one of the most fun experiences of my life.
I wasn't exactly pleased that the dealers den didn't have great separation from adult and SFW artwork so it necessitated very very fast browsing through most of the tables, or I'd end up getting an eyeful of porn. Due to being in my room Friday I missed half the panels, and then I drove home sunday morning. So I don't know if I could really give you my views on the RMFC convention in general as I only really experienced a day of it. However, I can speak on some things in general, the first is that it was fantastic to see so many people and suits that I had only ever seen online over a computer screen. The experience was definitely surreal. The second item is that I was for the most part pleased with the other attendees. Given my prior experiences with a number of local furries, I was expecting people to be a lot more crude, and far less respectful of everyone and everything in general. Perhaps they were and I didn't notice it, but I'd like to take the positive side on this one. Lastly, I confirmed for myself that it is always wise to bring your own food, some of my largest expenses, discounting room and gas, at the con were from eating out, and I made sure that I had breakfast and lunch supplies but got gouged pretty badly by an indian restaurant we went to one night. I'm definitely making sure I check the local food options AND prices beforehand next time I go out of state for a convention.
Now for something I can't believe I'm speaking about. My hope is that most people haven't bothered to read this far into my journal, and the ones that do perhaps gloss over it. But post-con depression is definitely a real deal. Except, for me at least, it has nothing to do with the convention. Sure, I would like to go back. But that's not what is getting me down. What is, is having now been to a convention and fursuited, I'm forced by necessity, to examine my life goals and directions.
Oh what I wouldn't give to be 2 years younger. I'm 24 now, still single; in less than a year I will be 25, have my bachelors in molecular biology, probably still be single, and be preparing to go to medical school in 2017. Medical school is pretty much going to shoot all my hobbies in the face repeatedly until they die. So I'll likely be in my early thirties before my time is my own again. And then what do I do? I guess I'll treat patients, go home, and write my books. Fun life...
Finding that special someone would make all the difference in the world. Someone that I can share my interests with, and support in hers. Someone that can even make what little time I have away from my studies in the future, time that is exhilarating and fun. This idea seems so impossibly far away though that I've begun to regard it with about as much realism as I do fancying myself a millionaire. Aside from obstacles to my romantic endeavors that exist due to the emotional abuse I suffered from my peers as a child, it doesn't help that the one girl I did love with all my heart repeatedly tells me how much I have to change before I'll ever have a chance at someone loving me back.
Maybe it's just better to drop the dream entirely. If I accept that it's never going to happen, I can at least devote my time, resources, and hopes on things that can perchance become a reality. But then again who knows? New millionaires are made all the time and they are generally the people that are ready to seize the opportunities that come before them.
Since I can't stop time from pressing forward, I suppose the best I can do is try not to be trampled in it's wake.
The convention itself was fun, but what really made it a blast was the people I was with
mylescougar, 
tsebresos, 
listigaraven, 
banditt, and 
bexis. Without them I'd have probably been a social shut in. It also helped that with the aid of Tsebresos I was able to finish my fursuit on Friday of the con (pictures soon to come). Fursuiting was by far the best thing about the convention. Unfortunately I went there under massive sleep deprivation as I had been staying up late and waking up early consistently for the week leading up to the con, especially the night before, working on my fursuit. So I didn't have as much energy as I would have liked to get the full experience. These things aside, it was one of the most fun experiences of my life.
I wasn't exactly pleased that the dealers den didn't have great separation from adult and SFW artwork so it necessitated very very fast browsing through most of the tables, or I'd end up getting an eyeful of porn. Due to being in my room Friday I missed half the panels, and then I drove home sunday morning. So I don't know if I could really give you my views on the RMFC convention in general as I only really experienced a day of it. However, I can speak on some things in general, the first is that it was fantastic to see so many people and suits that I had only ever seen online over a computer screen. The experience was definitely surreal. The second item is that I was for the most part pleased with the other attendees. Given my prior experiences with a number of local furries, I was expecting people to be a lot more crude, and far less respectful of everyone and everything in general. Perhaps they were and I didn't notice it, but I'd like to take the positive side on this one. Lastly, I confirmed for myself that it is always wise to bring your own food, some of my largest expenses, discounting room and gas, at the con were from eating out, and I made sure that I had breakfast and lunch supplies but got gouged pretty badly by an indian restaurant we went to one night. I'm definitely making sure I check the local food options AND prices beforehand next time I go out of state for a convention.
Now for something I can't believe I'm speaking about. My hope is that most people haven't bothered to read this far into my journal, and the ones that do perhaps gloss over it. But post-con depression is definitely a real deal. Except, for me at least, it has nothing to do with the convention. Sure, I would like to go back. But that's not what is getting me down. What is, is having now been to a convention and fursuited, I'm forced by necessity, to examine my life goals and directions.
Oh what I wouldn't give to be 2 years younger. I'm 24 now, still single; in less than a year I will be 25, have my bachelors in molecular biology, probably still be single, and be preparing to go to medical school in 2017. Medical school is pretty much going to shoot all my hobbies in the face repeatedly until they die. So I'll likely be in my early thirties before my time is my own again. And then what do I do? I guess I'll treat patients, go home, and write my books. Fun life...
Finding that special someone would make all the difference in the world. Someone that I can share my interests with, and support in hers. Someone that can even make what little time I have away from my studies in the future, time that is exhilarating and fun. This idea seems so impossibly far away though that I've begun to regard it with about as much realism as I do fancying myself a millionaire. Aside from obstacles to my romantic endeavors that exist due to the emotional abuse I suffered from my peers as a child, it doesn't help that the one girl I did love with all my heart repeatedly tells me how much I have to change before I'll ever have a chance at someone loving me back.
Maybe it's just better to drop the dream entirely. If I accept that it's never going to happen, I can at least devote my time, resources, and hopes on things that can perchance become a reality. But then again who knows? New millionaires are made all the time and they are generally the people that are ready to seize the opportunities that come before them.
Since I can't stop time from pressing forward, I suppose the best I can do is try not to be trampled in it's wake.
You're a great man doing great things. Though I know you can get discouraged often, I always notice that you get back up and keep making the best of what you do have. I'm super grateful to know you and learn from that, even if you don't really feel like it's something people can really benefit from.
I wasn't expecting people to actually read this. I was mainly trying to give clarity to the storm of emotions stampeding in my mind.
I appreciate you and your kind words, perhaps more than you can know; although I assure you they aren't deserved.
I'll honestly say that I think you're so much better of a person than I. There's no way something won't line up for you.
I'm always rooting for you, bud!
Thanks for the kindness though Wind.
My friend and I always worry about finding the one, that one girl who is perfect. I always worry that I won't find someone who has the same interests as me. Furries are a huge part of my life and I can't imagine sharing my life with someone who doesn't share that interest with me.
But one thing I can always fall back on is knowing that Heavenly Father has a plan for me. There's still going to be trials left and right, and I know that if I pull through them faithfully it will all turn out in the end.
It was a blessing to be able to hang out with you and everyone else. Like I said, It was the first time since I became a furry back in 2009 to be able to talk to other furries about furries in person ha ha.
So again, thanks so frigging much for bringing me along :D
I have the same worries, but the thing is, don't let it get to ya. The greatest people I find are ones who took the time to find out who they were, get their act together, then end up finding that special someone. It makes the journey there so much more worth the wait. I worry about being alone all the time, but I keep reminding myself that when I'm truly ready, that opportunity will arrive.
You are a super smart person! Whether you believe it or not, it's true!! :) You have a great perspective and are open minded. I don't know you as well as other furs do since I'm rather new to the furry realm, but from what opportunities I had at RMFC to actually chat with you for a bit were great.
I look forward to seeing you and your suit at more conventions in the future!!
I hope it all works out for you as well. Like I said I'm not just inhibited by finding someone but by personal challenges. But all I can really do is move forward, because I've decided not to quit, I cant really promise too much faith or optimism in the area but I've promised myself patience at least.
I too would like to see myself and you at cons! xD I didn't make the suit so it could sit in my closet like it's been doing :P