Hi everyone.. I've been wanting to write this journal for a little bit but have just been unable to really get myself to write but I wanted to put this out as a way to reach out to everyone who watches me.

Current Events:
I just got home from the San Japan anime convention in San Antonio, Texas with my friend  triggernyar and we had a really good time during the almost week I was down there. There were some furries at the convention and I'm such a cave dragon I rarely even get to go do anything due to work or financial issues. But the second day of the con I ended up talking to some pleasant folks in the dealers room who had fursuit partials for sale. I did end up getting one.. a green and white with blue addon wolf dragon named Liam who had cushioned pawpads and wore him around the remainder of the con.

I can not even describe to you the feelings that ran through my heart and mind while I was like that. Its an indescribable feeling of joy and feeling like something you're not. I felt no qualms about acting how I normally don't, and just being out in public like that. Being at a con already feels like an escape but in suit at a con was the closest thing to a life I will never have.
Now as for the suit itself, I left it at Trigger's house because both of my parents are anti fur and I didnt want to bring it home and get an earful of it. Honestly none of my real life friends know I'm a furry and there arent any around here making me feel really alone.. but I'll get to that later.

Angel Dragons:
Now while at the con I met this adorable girl named  Tiny1Badger who was cosplaying as "Cherry Blossom" and at the time I didn't know what an angel dragon was until later. However once I got home and looked them up, they are quite an established open species and I have completely fallen in love with them. Utterly and totally, so I've been working towards not only designing a form for myself but also have been getting back my desire to draw and even begin the rough start towards an eventual fursuit. I know that sounds extreme but the moment I saw her I felt my heart heave, and since then its only gotten stronger. If you guys wanna check out what angel dragons are, use these links below, I just wanted to share ^.=.^
- http://www.dutchangeldragons.com/
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ahqkfqtc1No

Life:
So now I just want to vent a little and I apologize if this is a little rambley.. I'm 27 years old and I still live with my folks. I have few friends and none of them know I'm a furry, and I work a full time mon-fri (with sats) from 3-11:30. On top of that all my friends are always busy, my online friends have felt grumpy or distant and on top of that I'm single and not the most social person either so I've been feeling more alone than ever..
The con trip has been haunting me since I got back, being surrounded by people that think like I do, other furries, so much kindness and love and coming home to nothing like this, it's been really hard on me. I want to reach out to people more, I want to push myself to draw, play my guitar, and work on my fursuit. But more than anything I want to move out of this house and find people to be around who I can enjoy my life with. I'm not getting any younger and yet I'm not finding any fun or happiness in my life right now, even as a D&D player the sessions I've been in always end abruptly and I can't seem to find a group.

Anyway.. I don't wanna come off like I'm depressed or emo or anything like that, I'm just frustrated at this feeling of being stuck. And while I do have a good bit of money to throw around I'm also afraid to really take those first steps of moving out and doing these things without someone to turn to. I really feel alone, more than anything I just wish I could shed my skin and be the dragon I truly am and go for a flight amidst the cool summer clouds.

So now my question to you guys, do you know or do you yourself know anyone I could turn to for fursuit building advice, art tips or general character design so I can begin working towards my angel dragon fursona -or- assistance with evolving my dragon self into a new design because I feel it's about that time as well.

Thanks you for taking the time to read this..
-Renlu/Kevin