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Home Sweet Home
16 years ago
Why are you reading this again?
I've been here a few days and I can honestly say I feel safe for the first time in my life. It's hard moving from home to home in foster care and groping at your family for some love and affection but yet never really getting the bigger picture. You have a family for support and love so that you can be a better person.
Well I didn't, but that doesn't mean I can't teach myself from all of my mistakes that I am a good person and I think everyone has that chance. At some point you realize that people are generally not your best friend. The collective is out for itself, which is why we're all so cold and insolated.
When I wanted a shred of hope, or a piece of the life any of my friends had they could not really understand. They took it for granted, that they had a family. They couldn't imagine a life without any support or love because why would they ever need to? I made those kinds of friends, but all in all they never understood me. I don't blame them. Lol.
I outcasted myself most of the time, I wrote all the time. I cut myself into a deeper depression every day, and not in the physical sense of cut. The mental cutting one does daily. So I'll start writing here as well as a few other places, with my new life. I'll make it live up to all of my expectations. No more hating myself, or anyone else. This is where I end the cycle of pain brought on by myself and everyone who was around me.
This is my life, I'm glad to have it. I'll do my best to make the most of it.
All my love,
Mali
Well I didn't, but that doesn't mean I can't teach myself from all of my mistakes that I am a good person and I think everyone has that chance. At some point you realize that people are generally not your best friend. The collective is out for itself, which is why we're all so cold and insolated.
When I wanted a shred of hope, or a piece of the life any of my friends had they could not really understand. They took it for granted, that they had a family. They couldn't imagine a life without any support or love because why would they ever need to? I made those kinds of friends, but all in all they never understood me. I don't blame them. Lol.
I outcasted myself most of the time, I wrote all the time. I cut myself into a deeper depression every day, and not in the physical sense of cut. The mental cutting one does daily. So I'll start writing here as well as a few other places, with my new life. I'll make it live up to all of my expectations. No more hating myself, or anyone else. This is where I end the cycle of pain brought on by myself and everyone who was around me.
This is my life, I'm glad to have it. I'll do my best to make the most of it.
All my love,
Mali
The world begins with you.
Everyone should enjoy life while they have it, even if it's a bad one, since it is (Probably) the only life you'll live. Being young still, as you even said yourself, you seclude yourself away from the rest of the world, mentally scarring yourself to distract you from the lack of affection that anyone should have had.
Yet you do something that (unfortunately) most people don't take, and instead drown themselves in stupid carnal pleasures, blame it on someone else, or just give up entirely.
You have stood up in the face of your problems, and as you said, do the best you can to make the most of it. There is always a light in the uncertain darkness that is life. It's the will to survive and to strive to continue that illuminates the path towards 'freedom.' Continue onwards Malicious, and prove to not only yourself, but the WORLD, that you can continue.
After all, the world ends with you.