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I hate to see Mum like that
16 years ago
General
I've just returned from spending the Easter long weekend with my family. This is the first time I've seen Mum since she was paralysed from the cancer. It... really sucks to see her like that. The rumpus room has become her "bedroom" as it has easy access and space to fit her motorised bed (bed goes up, bed goes down) and assorted mobility and medical items (and the big TV, of course).
She has no control over anything below her belly-button. It's pretty disconcerting to have to clear out the room on a regular basis so that Dad can change Mum's nappy. It ain't right. Such a thing should never be typed. And yet... there it is.
Regardless, she's in good spirits, and Dad's taking good care of her. He's not a spring-chicken himself (60-something), and had his own medical dramas to worry about (titanium cage where some vertebrae used to be), but that's not slowing him down. And to be perfectly honest, I'm sure he's having great fun designing and building wheelchair ramps of various sizes for all about the house, and various hoists and contraptions to lift Mum in and out of places like the car, for example. He's always been keen at that sort of building stuff. And it's good that, with all that, Mum still has that much mobility. It takes quite a while to get sorted to go anywhere, but they get there eventually. She's really not independent, though, and Dad has greatly reduced his work to take care of Mum. For him, and he's said as much, he's getting his head around the idea that taking care of Mum is a full-time job.
Mum doesn't have a whole lot of energy, although as long as I've known her she's never been very energetic. Some days she'll spend mostly in bed, but others she'll be up and about (after Dad helps her into her motorised wheelchair, with which she's been bulldozing furniture), working on her hobbies (like embroidery, a table full of which Dad had to clear off to allow the family, us 3 brothers and a brother's wife, space to use).
It's hard to tell. She could be with us a good while longer yet. Or not. We just don't really know. We're all doing our best to keep up spirits. We're certainly not a sad family. We get along well, and don't dwell on anything. ... But... you know... It still sucks.
Why am I typing this? Fishing for sympathy? Well I'd be lying if I said there wasn't a small element of that, but I'm not kidding myself. ... I try to keep a reasonably upbeat profile here, but sometimes... you just have to put something out there. Venting? I don't know. I just wanted to.
...Donate to cancer research or something. If you can spare it.
She has no control over anything below her belly-button. It's pretty disconcerting to have to clear out the room on a regular basis so that Dad can change Mum's nappy. It ain't right. Such a thing should never be typed. And yet... there it is.
Regardless, she's in good spirits, and Dad's taking good care of her. He's not a spring-chicken himself (60-something), and had his own medical dramas to worry about (titanium cage where some vertebrae used to be), but that's not slowing him down. And to be perfectly honest, I'm sure he's having great fun designing and building wheelchair ramps of various sizes for all about the house, and various hoists and contraptions to lift Mum in and out of places like the car, for example. He's always been keen at that sort of building stuff. And it's good that, with all that, Mum still has that much mobility. It takes quite a while to get sorted to go anywhere, but they get there eventually. She's really not independent, though, and Dad has greatly reduced his work to take care of Mum. For him, and he's said as much, he's getting his head around the idea that taking care of Mum is a full-time job.
Mum doesn't have a whole lot of energy, although as long as I've known her she's never been very energetic. Some days she'll spend mostly in bed, but others she'll be up and about (after Dad helps her into her motorised wheelchair, with which she's been bulldozing furniture), working on her hobbies (like embroidery, a table full of which Dad had to clear off to allow the family, us 3 brothers and a brother's wife, space to use).
It's hard to tell. She could be with us a good while longer yet. Or not. We just don't really know. We're all doing our best to keep up spirits. We're certainly not a sad family. We get along well, and don't dwell on anything. ... But... you know... It still sucks.
Why am I typing this? Fishing for sympathy? Well I'd be lying if I said there wasn't a small element of that, but I'm not kidding myself. ... I try to keep a reasonably upbeat profile here, but sometimes... you just have to put something out there. Venting? I don't know. I just wanted to.
...Donate to cancer research or something. If you can spare it.
Cancer scares the hell out ta me