List of most of the people I remember that have...something...

This is a list of the people I can remember. They have had some form of impact on my life, or given me some or quite a few notable and/or memorable times in my life...m recent online life...well...here's the list:

Spyro and Sonic - good friend from on www.darkspyro.net
ThroneOfMalefor - another DS (DarkSpyro) friend
Thumper - a friend on DS who had quotes and nice things to say...
CrystalHero37 - funny user...she made me laugh a lot. Likes quite a few things...
JaggedStar - good friend... *sigh*
I'm sure there's more DS friends, but I can't remember any more at the moment...

Zephraxe - awesome friend I met on Serebii...
Heroic Rein (now Silver Chiko) - another awesome friend on Serebii...
Trickster Zorua - A friend on Serebii who likes Minecraft and some other things...
Dr. Ciel (changed username but I can't remember what it was) - awesome friend on Serebii. Quick replies and online quite a bit...
Steelrush - Serebii friend who was friendly...
I guess that's all I can remember for my Serebii friends for now...

dA friends? Too many really...

Cassafrass - super awesome friend! Replies are spread apart but we still try to chat&RP.

And I'm sure there's a lot more, but I don't wanna go overboard...

Now...a lot of people have done only one thing, but it's still been big to me and I remember them for it. Sometimes they don't even know what they've done for me...

Zephraxe - Inspired me to try and develop some human OCs and stuff...
Silver Chiko - gave me hope that I could have some ideas for some...stuff...
Palastatic (on dA) - gave me the idea to start writing a Pokémon Mystery Dungeon fanfic. (It's still being worked on though)
Shorty - a user on Darkspyro...he's the one that made me my avatar. Yes. The very same avatar that I've always been using and love so very very much.
Nightwolf2886 (on dA) - made me the pic of Melissa and Jason.
And I'm sure there's more, but that's kinda all I can think of right now...

Now...of the people I love to chat with so much...so much has happened...

Dr. Ciel - she was banned from Serebii a while back...
Steelrush - He was banned too!
That left only Zephraxe, Silver Chiko, and Trickster Zorua on Serebii basically...and a few others...but... *sigh*

Silver Chiko - Grew inactive near September/October of 2014, and worried me. That left Zeph and Trickster for the a time. Zephraxe was the main one I loved to chat with at that time. Notably December (2014), January (2015), and I think some, if not all of, February (2015). Just when I was struggling with Zeph or something, I saw Silver Chiko online, and that gave me some hope. He stated he was going to be Semi-Active from that point on. I eventually tried to chat with him, but it was a little difficult at the time. But...eventually...he was inactive...and his last activity...the last time he was "online", was sometime in May...and it's still like that today. *sniff*...so that left only Zeph and Trickster again...

Trickster...well...for some reason...I wasn't too motivated about talking with him and stuff...less and less replies I guess...but who knows...anyways...it basically left me with Zephraxe... *SNIFF*

That's mainly that stuff for now...

And now...well... Things have just...happened...a lot and so much and...I dunno...but there's been a number of people who have blocked me...and it's just become so overwhelming...Losing friends and then some not talkin to me and such...

List of people who have blocked me in the at some point before:

Gay-anthro-cat (dA)
Magnus Vulpes (G+)
Crystal Jenkins (G+/Google hangouts)
Google+ user (I'm sorry! My memory is bad!)
<insert name here> (G+)
vorishcynder (dA/FA/Skype)
Swampurtz (Serebii. Not "blocked", but they won't talk to me and I can't comment on their profile...they have the private settings or something of some sort...)
Berlin (or something like that. FA)
Cassafrass (Skype)
<insert username here> (FA/Skype)
<insert another username here> (met on dA, found me on FA and/or google hangouts, and we moved on to Skype. Skype contact...)
Nine-Taled-Ninetales (Met on dA. Moved to Skype...eventually blocked me...cuz my next reply...I didn't say "hi" or "hello"...)

So we are at 12 blocks now...BUT, some people have actually forgiven/unblocked me...

The "Google+ User". Sorry...can't remember the username...
Berlin
Cassafrass (thanks so much bud. Hehe)
Nine-Taled-Ninetales (we don't chat much, but at least I can say hello and stuff. ^^')
And that's pretty much all of the ones who unblocked me to this very day (last I checked anyways). So...that's 4, so that makes 8 blocks. But...there's ONE more person...and I only just found this out today...

Zephraxe (Serebii friend...he has the private settings too...but... *SOB*)

And well...that...I guess...ends...the reign...of my...addiction...to...not only...Serebii...but...possibly...-

Without Zeph now...my Serebii activity has basically come to an end...now...I almost don't even WANT to think of the good days of Fall of 2013...and if that is the case...then... *SOB*...I guess I could care less about what pain I feel now...physically...I can't take this anymore...I woke up today feeling happy and jolly, still dwelling on my dA problem and stuff, but still happy somehow...and at lunch time...in just only one moment...I went from happy and full of hope and plans...to another broken heart...what basically just happened there? An "Idea Gun"...(you could add "shot" or "machine" In front of the word "gun".) An Idea Shotgun just killed...many...ideas. Ideas in my head that I was hoping to get out of my head by doing them through an RP (or RPs)...but now...those ideas will haunt me...possibly forever...and now I don't wanna do much...

Roleplaying and/or the Internet is like a drug. It makes you happy and then you start to rely on it so much. You look forward to it every day and you can't stop. You get so addicted...that its all that you start to think about...and you feel as if you cannot live without it...until suddenly...something happens that makes you lose all sense and causes problems...depression, grief, regret, and...sometimes it may cause suicide and death and shootings...

That's is what I say...I planned on playing Minecraft for my extra 2 hours today, since it was a 1:00 dismissal. But instead...I'm upset more than anything...more than I've ever been before...I don't even really wanna talk at all right now...

Sometimes I feel like I'm just a silhouette...and I'm just a nobody...no one seems to care or notice my pain...no one recognizes that I'm depressed...normally I'd sing my Owl City songs out loud on the bus, while playing Super Smash Bros. for the 3DS, but today...I didn't sing out loud... Nor played the 3DS...I only listened to my music and listened to a couple of different songs than normal...I laid down on my seat...slightly getting in the way of people...what's worse...I didn't even sing the last song I ALWAYS sing along to on my walk home... Dreams and Disasters...

I've never been more depressed in my life...I've lost my online home/website of deviantART, lost many online friends, been blocked by around 10 different people, lost some privileges a home, been yelled at by my dad a lot more than usual...what's next? I'm assuming something will happen with FA or something...or google+...I'm running out of websites/places and stuff...I can't keep doing this forever. I'm gonna be cornered and homeless sometimes soon...and when that happens...I'll have no choice but to revert to Flash Player games and The many websites out there...making an account on the main ones I like and living/spending my life like that...and playing some Minecraft on the laptop too...maybe I'll have a server for all of you guys to still be able to chat with me and stuff...if we ever get unlimited Internet data...

I dunno but...I just CAN'T keep going on like this...I'm gonna go down sooner or later...

That ends this journal I guess...............................………..................................


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That was all written last week on September 2nd. I'm over the big prob now but...it still hurts...so yeah.