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Overdue Update
10 years ago
General
I would like to apologize for the lack of activity on my part lately; both on FurAffinity and on Skype. Life has been a turmoil lately and things have been a cluster-bomb of issues that have rendered me completely unable to properly keep up with social life and illustrations. Suffice to say the boyfriend and I are at a point in our lives where we're not even sure what's going to happen/where we're going to end up next. As we try to get ourselves back up on our feet, things have only been desperately trying to knock us back down and in doing so it has put a major strain on both of our abilities to keep in communication with friends among other things. I know a few of you have noticed the rather horrifying near-suicidal state I've been in, and I'm extremely sorry for publicizing it like I did before.
Which brings me to the main reason of this journal, why I've been avoiding people. Some of the closer individuals in my life are well-known to the outright volatile and plainly unacceptable demeanor I tend to have when I'm at a breaking point. It has caused ridiculous amounts of damage in the past and I fear nothing more than causing undue conflict and harm towards said individuals who attempt to sift through the unmitigated disaster that is my personality. Every small issue for me seems to escalate into an out of control state of depression and anger which in turn ends up being directed at friends who do not deserve to be caught in the crossfire to begin with. So I'll continue to tackle this on my own to the best of my abilities, though at this point even I'm starting to grow weary of it.
In any case, I thought at least a heads up was in order. I honestly wish I could just go into a novel-sized rant of everything that is bothering me but I don't even have the energy nor the confidence to do so anymore. I'm tired. So much so that I don't even have the energy to respond to submission comments anymore. (Though trust me, I do read and appreciate every single one of them.)
P.S. There is one last thing I would like to say, which should probably taken with a grain of salt.
If you have somebody/people you are deeply, emotionally involved/connected with; never let yourself become overrun with despair to the point of where you'd risk damaging that kind of relationship. I've made that mistake in the past, and I can tell you, it's half of the reason why I'm no longer the approachable person I even remotely used to be.
Don't end up like me. Don't end up useless and hateful of everything around you. It's outright fucking poisonous.
-N
Which brings me to the main reason of this journal, why I've been avoiding people. Some of the closer individuals in my life are well-known to the outright volatile and plainly unacceptable demeanor I tend to have when I'm at a breaking point. It has caused ridiculous amounts of damage in the past and I fear nothing more than causing undue conflict and harm towards said individuals who attempt to sift through the unmitigated disaster that is my personality. Every small issue for me seems to escalate into an out of control state of depression and anger which in turn ends up being directed at friends who do not deserve to be caught in the crossfire to begin with. So I'll continue to tackle this on my own to the best of my abilities, though at this point even I'm starting to grow weary of it.
In any case, I thought at least a heads up was in order. I honestly wish I could just go into a novel-sized rant of everything that is bothering me but I don't even have the energy nor the confidence to do so anymore. I'm tired. So much so that I don't even have the energy to respond to submission comments anymore. (Though trust me, I do read and appreciate every single one of them.)
P.S. There is one last thing I would like to say, which should probably taken with a grain of salt.
If you have somebody/people you are deeply, emotionally involved/connected with; never let yourself become overrun with despair to the point of where you'd risk damaging that kind of relationship. I've made that mistake in the past, and I can tell you, it's half of the reason why I'm no longer the approachable person I even remotely used to be.
Don't end up like me. Don't end up useless and hateful of everything around you. It's outright fucking poisonous.
-N
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