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I'm okay now.
10 years ago
I know things have been quiet for a week or two, and I'm sorry for not posting anything and keeping you all out of the loop. Suffice it to say this was a very busy, very challenging two weeks, and sadly it kept me from writing or posting here.
But I'm okay now.
I'm not sure I can put even it into words, but... I'm okay. Better than okay, really: I'm happy. I am so freaking happy right now. Inside of me is a calm contentment the likes of which I haven't felt in an awfully long time. And just knowing that I can still feel that way is... It's a big relief.
Part of me wishes I could say this was because of some particularly good news or because something amazing fell into my lap. But the best part is that this isn't the case. I just had a really good day. And knowing that I don't need some big event or boon to feel this good --that I can smile for hours on end, just because I had a good day-- might be the best news of all. It makes me feel ordinary and human in the best way possible.
It probably doesn't hurt that I've had this song playing on loop for about an hour now: https://youtu.be/SddNAu0oMiU
Yeah, that might have something to do with it.
Regular submissions will resume again this Sunday. I'm glad to be back, and I'm glad to be alive. I hope you are too.
- Seskra.
But I'm okay now.
I'm not sure I can put even it into words, but... I'm okay. Better than okay, really: I'm happy. I am so freaking happy right now. Inside of me is a calm contentment the likes of which I haven't felt in an awfully long time. And just knowing that I can still feel that way is... It's a big relief.
Part of me wishes I could say this was because of some particularly good news or because something amazing fell into my lap. But the best part is that this isn't the case. I just had a really good day. And knowing that I don't need some big event or boon to feel this good --that I can smile for hours on end, just because I had a good day-- might be the best news of all. It makes me feel ordinary and human in the best way possible.
It probably doesn't hurt that I've had this song playing on loop for about an hour now: https://youtu.be/SddNAu0oMiU
Yeah, that might have something to do with it.
Regular submissions will resume again this Sunday. I'm glad to be back, and I'm glad to be alive. I hope you are too.
- Seskra.
I can't help but be worried about you, given all of that. but, that's just part of who I am. and I am glad for you that you are happy and especially for no reason. gotta say, I missed you and your submissions, and look forward to this sunday's entry. in the meantime, welcome back and huzzah for feeling good! :D
P.S. ~ this music is really beautiful. gods, I need to play that game, now.
Sorry to worry you, though you've no idea how much I appreciate the gesture. I'm looking forward to the new submissions too, and have been all throughout these past two weeks. My biggest motivator to get through them was a Post-It note that I put on the corner of my monitor, written from the point of view of one of my characters. Anytime I read it, I'd guilt-trip myself into getting back to work, because I'd feel bad that I hadn't told their story yet.
You'd be amazed how much sway my own characters have over me these days.
I'm afraid my note wasn't quite as poetic or as portentous as Tuomas his usual fare though. It just said, "I don't want to be alone anymore."