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10 years ago
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SO I know I haven't been around much but here's what's been going on with me the past month
The Move
So my flight was great, everything went smoother than expected. I was really worried about Hailey(my dog) and her first trip on an airplane but she was amazingly very quiet and slept the whole 8 hours.
Even with all the noise and everything she was very well behaved. The hardest part was leaving my girlfriend behind and saying goodbye. I swear I had tear stained cheeks the whole flight but ah no one said it would be easy right?
Well anyways so during the first two weeks after I moved, I had gotten sick as my back started acting out because I had worn it out during the flight and was kinda out of it. Then after that week I had to go to the hospital for something entirely different. I was in A LOT of pain to the point where I couldn't move and I was apparently shaking a lot. I never had felt so much pain and had been that way before. Everyone and everything felt so far away and I could barely open my eyes and focus on things around me. At the same time the room was spinning and I felt like my body kept jolting back and forth. I was hypersensitive to everything around me and just so much pain around my abdomen.
I stayed in the hospital for about 4-5 hours as they tested me and I got to experience my first IV...yay...
they told me it possibly could be a gastrointestinal thing and to go see a specialist but no insurance in NY so yay
I ended up just trying to recover the next few weeks and been taking it easy and getting my body adjusted.
Unfortunately I've just been having some bad luck here and there health wise but overall my room-mates are really awesome understanding people and I've been feeling more relaxed than I’ve ever been. I mean I still stress but it's not as bad as when I was home and I got severely sick from it.
I've been kinda upset about not starting out right but I'll get over it
Personal Life
I've been going through a lot of depression and anti-socialness for the last month/this month and the move has intensified this. It's not that I’m unhappy about moving, it's just the change has just intensified my already lingering emotions. It doesn't help I found someone to really love and care for and leave them so suddenly. My life is going through a lot of change and I just can't seem to deal with it right now. I feel bad because I don't want anyone to think I'm just abandoning them but I just feel lost in everything. Part of me is trying to fight through this but ugh..
It's a constant battle between tears and smiles.
My stress and anxiety levels have lowered significantly but they're still there.
I am still with my girlfriend and I am taken and I don't think I want to let go or ready to let go. I honestly really still care for her the most and all I miss from California is her face. It's one of the worst feelings...
Especially when sometimes I need her so bad to just hold me for a few minutes and let me forget the world.
Don't get me wrong, we talk ALL the time and keep in constant contact but I seem to be using her as a comfort zone and becoming a somewhat hermit.
ugh she's the only one who's keeping me strong right now and I just ugh I dunno why I’m gushing these feelings...
Is it bad that I just only want to be with her?
I don't know..I feel like an asshole to everyone else when I just want to speak to her all day everyday.
ugh
I seem to be lost. I had so many ideas and plans when I came and as soon as I arrived they all just disappeared from my head and I found myself curling up inside and shunning everything.
It feels like a weird dream that I can't wake up from and I'm in a hazy state mentally..
I feel like this is all an out of body experience, like I’m doing things automatically but I'm not registering my actions fully or the circumstances..
Future of Art
So...right now I don't have a computer to really art with which kinda halts a lot of things for me.
I'm not sure if I'll be able to art soon or not, I mean I'm drawing more traditional and I might upload those to keep my page from dying but right now digitally is a no-go.
I'll have to close commissions down and any trade offers.
Hopefully soon maybe I'll be able to afford a new laptop/computer
TLDR:
-Move was good and went out smoother than expected
-Got sick, went to hospital and dealing with recovering
- Personal life is hell, emotionally not ok
- I'm a brat as always
-NO computer to art with, Digital art will be on hiatus, MIGHT upload traditional pieces
-Commissions and trades are closed
SO yeah that's what's going on with me.
Keeping you guys updated with what happens and everything c:
The Move
So my flight was great, everything went smoother than expected. I was really worried about Hailey(my dog) and her first trip on an airplane but she was amazingly very quiet and slept the whole 8 hours.
Even with all the noise and everything she was very well behaved. The hardest part was leaving my girlfriend behind and saying goodbye. I swear I had tear stained cheeks the whole flight but ah no one said it would be easy right?
Well anyways so during the first two weeks after I moved, I had gotten sick as my back started acting out because I had worn it out during the flight and was kinda out of it. Then after that week I had to go to the hospital for something entirely different. I was in A LOT of pain to the point where I couldn't move and I was apparently shaking a lot. I never had felt so much pain and had been that way before. Everyone and everything felt so far away and I could barely open my eyes and focus on things around me. At the same time the room was spinning and I felt like my body kept jolting back and forth. I was hypersensitive to everything around me and just so much pain around my abdomen.
I stayed in the hospital for about 4-5 hours as they tested me and I got to experience my first IV...yay...
they told me it possibly could be a gastrointestinal thing and to go see a specialist but no insurance in NY so yay
I ended up just trying to recover the next few weeks and been taking it easy and getting my body adjusted.
Unfortunately I've just been having some bad luck here and there health wise but overall my room-mates are really awesome understanding people and I've been feeling more relaxed than I’ve ever been. I mean I still stress but it's not as bad as when I was home and I got severely sick from it.
I've been kinda upset about not starting out right but I'll get over it
Personal Life
I've been going through a lot of depression and anti-socialness for the last month/this month and the move has intensified this. It's not that I’m unhappy about moving, it's just the change has just intensified my already lingering emotions. It doesn't help I found someone to really love and care for and leave them so suddenly. My life is going through a lot of change and I just can't seem to deal with it right now. I feel bad because I don't want anyone to think I'm just abandoning them but I just feel lost in everything. Part of me is trying to fight through this but ugh..
It's a constant battle between tears and smiles.
My stress and anxiety levels have lowered significantly but they're still there.
I am still with my girlfriend and I am taken and I don't think I want to let go or ready to let go. I honestly really still care for her the most and all I miss from California is her face. It's one of the worst feelings...
Especially when sometimes I need her so bad to just hold me for a few minutes and let me forget the world.
Don't get me wrong, we talk ALL the time and keep in constant contact but I seem to be using her as a comfort zone and becoming a somewhat hermit.
ugh she's the only one who's keeping me strong right now and I just ugh I dunno why I’m gushing these feelings...
Is it bad that I just only want to be with her?
I don't know..I feel like an asshole to everyone else when I just want to speak to her all day everyday.
ugh
I seem to be lost. I had so many ideas and plans when I came and as soon as I arrived they all just disappeared from my head and I found myself curling up inside and shunning everything.
It feels like a weird dream that I can't wake up from and I'm in a hazy state mentally..
I feel like this is all an out of body experience, like I’m doing things automatically but I'm not registering my actions fully or the circumstances..
Future of Art
So...right now I don't have a computer to really art with which kinda halts a lot of things for me.
I'm not sure if I'll be able to art soon or not, I mean I'm drawing more traditional and I might upload those to keep my page from dying but right now digitally is a no-go.
I'll have to close commissions down and any trade offers.
Hopefully soon maybe I'll be able to afford a new laptop/computer
TLDR:
-Move was good and went out smoother than expected
-Got sick, went to hospital and dealing with recovering
- Personal life is hell, emotionally not ok
- I'm a brat as always
-NO computer to art with, Digital art will be on hiatus, MIGHT upload traditional pieces
-Commissions and trades are closed
SO yeah that's what's going on with me.
Keeping you guys updated with what happens and everything c:
