I would not.

People who are *that* obsessed - who can't handle any moment where the answer is "no" - should only be with people who are equally obsessed with that kink. I'm not so blindly entranced by a kink, so I can't see myself in a relationship like that.

Gosh never. :( that to me isn't what makes a relationship.

If it's only based around the fetish? God no. There has to be some kind of mental connection somewhere, or else sex turns into more of a chore, just to keep the relationship going. Sounds basically like a borderline on mental abuse to me.

I would not. And from what you describe, being in that kind of stuff is like being in an abusive relationship.

Some things are fine in fiction and some others meet clear limits in reality. If you love a person, their happiness should matter first to you, so basically if it's not a mutual agreement, I'm not pushing it, and it won't be the only thing that matters.

I love fat girls (and by fat I mean from chubby to obese) but I'm not gonna be pushing a fat girl into gaining weight if she's not feeling well about it. And if she loses weight I'm not gonna be less interested in her because of it - one of my crushes, a very good friend of mine, looks like Morticia. So yeah, kinks and looks aren't 100% relevant in a relationship.

I'd be only mildly disappointed if I was with someone who I share less than half of my kinks with, and I definitely wouldn't date someone who's a jackass just because we share a ton of kinks.

Those case you've seen are extreme and go to show how far a human being can go, but not everybody is like those people. At least I think I'm not like that. .w.

That is a genuine Conundrum. I mean, a random hook up with some one because I am there fetish is pretty great. But a whole Relationship pure based on the fact I turn some one on. I love turning people on. Its better than sex for me. I honestly can't think of an answer. I mean, shit, I can't even articulate my thoughts on the matter. If I was with some one, I would want to turn them on. but I don't know if that is all I would want out of it. If I stopped being what ever I was being to turn them on, they would leave, but if I knew that hey were only with me because I made them wet/hard. Shit I don't know. I know that i am so alone to begin with I wouldn't question why some was with me. I think I would take any king of relationship at this point. I would definitely need to be in a better place to figure out the REAL answer to this question. Fuck... good question.

I think I would rather have a relationship where the person was in love with me, but also found me very appealing of course. Like, I am in a relationship where both she and I are curvy woman, and I am just fascinated by her round rear end, but, I love her, and my like of her round rump came later. I am also demi-sexual (a type of a sexual) so things are weird for me. But I digress, Love first, then fettish. -nods- BUT i was already with someone who was purely vanilla and didn't want to try anything and thought fettishes (of any 'popular' type) were gross or stupid...and that's no better. So...a balance...-nods- like any relationship.

I look at it the same way I look at BDSM relationships. The whole point is to find someone who cares enough about their partner that they create a safe environment in which to indulge. Everything is trust, the trust that they won't be taken advantage of (beyond the requirements of their desires,) and that their mutual feeling will be taken into consideration.

I have a pretty hefty pantyhose obsession, with a side-order of femdom. I realize that in most cases, if my partner indulges me with a few nights of satisfied kink, it will be a gift that cost them time, effort, and probably annoyance, all for my sake. I can't imagine taking that effort for granted. I'd want to reward it, make it as pleasurable as I could (both for their sake and so it'll be fun enough that they actively want to do so again,) and try my best to find something equivalent that I could do in return.

Even if I met someone that happened to mirror my favorite playtime exactly, I wouldn't want it to be the sole factor in determining our relationship. As it turns out, I've been there once, and it was kinda fun (maybe a lot of fun) for about six months, but we both needed more, and we parted amicably. As far as the "feeder" situation goes, that wanders awfully close to a destructive, even possibly outright abusive, relationship. I can't imagine being with someone I supposedly cared for, and let it get so bad as their health/daily life was put under such obvious strain.

I think that anyone who bases their relationship on something so superficial does not have a truly fulfilling relationship.

Take it from someone who has been constantly dating people since the age of 15 (am now 22) and all of my relationships being lovingly sprinkled with tons of fetishes, of which spanking is the main. Kink relationships work best if they're relationships first, kinks second. At some point, kinks will not fulfill. Maybe you'll burn yourself out. Maybe you'll just be all satisfied with that kink for a while. Unless you're particularly needy when it comes to kinks, at some point that well will dry up. It'll probably come back. It most likely will. But in that moment when it's gone, the danger appears. The cracks start to show. One, or both, will see just how shallow it all is. Maybe you're okay with that. If you make that work, more power to you, but I don't think most humans can make that work.

Issue is, do they love you or do they love your body?
In the first case: Go for it.
Second case: Run.

Especially when it comes to fetishes with more long-term damage issues trusting your partner to put your well-being before their fetish is extremly important.

I'd say that's pretty selfish for the fetishist if they're obsessed with fulfilling their kink at all times with their lover and barely much else.

As a foot fetishist, I'd probably feel a little disappointed if my potential girlfriend has prosthetic legs, but if our personalities clicked and we fell in love, I'd try to work around the prosthetics somehow.

If your girlfriend had prosthetic legs you could potentially have different feet every night of the week...

Just saying.

yeah, but the point is they're not actual legs, they're effectively like admiring a mannequin's legs where she feels nothing and all you feel is cold, hard material that doesn't react to your actions like tickling or whatever and lack a scent.

Fair point. Well said.

I would not
I admit if I was in a relationship if see if I could convince em to partake in the fetish, if they don't oh well, always have the Internet to cover that ground XP
But I wouldn't only there just for the fetish



Unless it's a friends with benefits thing
I mean your only in it for the sex there anyways so it's not any different I suppose XP

Different strokes, different folks, but my reason for staying in a relationship is as simple as the fact that I love that person very much. No matter what, it's unconditional. I don't believe fulfilling a fetish should be the basis of happily-ever-after. *^^*

i feel that as long as love is there in the first place then then it would be fine but not if its on the fetish alone then the love didnt exist to begin with

If it's a fetish relationship, sure, because by wearing a prefix to the term "relationship", there's a reason those 2 people are together. A real, loving relationship should be 2 people supporting one another regardless of their choices.

I probably wouldn't. I keep my fetishes between myself and...Well, here on FA. I don't think I'd feel comfortable with discussing fetishes with someone in real life unless they're super open-minded or something.

Regardless of my choice and opinion to not have a fetish relationship, I have no problem with them as long as they're consensual. Obviously, the media has brought it out as something that's super dark and should be frowned upon by society...But I say it's morally better to let people do what they want as long as it's safe and legal (non-abusive).

I'd maybe be OK with the fetish for a hookup depending on what it is. For a relationship, no, because you are objectified in the context of a relationship, which is demeaning. It's OK for people to have transitory fun in my book, but don't play games with people.

I...thought you are already spoken for in a relationship?

Anyway, while that is an extreme example you cited I have to say it would be on a case by case basis. If both my potential partner and I felt we were both getting something we wanted and needed by the other I would be okay with it. So long as if it IS a fetish/kink based relationship the rules are spelled out clearly and concisely before hand in black and white and in writing

A relationship based on a single thing isn't any sort of relationship at all.

My initial gut reaction is "No, not in a million years!" but thinking about it... I can see where the abused person might stay.

If you're fat, you have a stigma surrounding that. People avoid you because you're "disgusting" and "unhealthy". You start getting desperate to fulfill your basic need for affection. Suddenly this guy shows you the time of day? He's nice? Offers to treat you to dinner? Well... give him a chance.

Then the sex. You haven't had any in a long time, so this guy making you see stars is starting to seem like a good idea.

You're hitting it off really good together, he's an oddball but you find him charming. You don't think anything of his bad habits, or you're too scared to lose him that you take it in stride for the sake of the relationship.

Already, without realizing it, you're in an abusive relationship and you just CAN'T GET OUT. You're emotionally incapable of doing anything about it and the cycle continues. This will go on for years unless the victim seeks help. This is why some abusers refuse to let the victim see friends or family.

In the end, the only way out is to GET HELP! Seriously, if you know someone who is in an abusive relationship, don't just wish you could help, DO SOMETHING!

I've been in several abusive relationships myself... not to the same degree, but I know the feeling of badly needing to feel like you belong. It's hard. You take your punishment, daily, for a chance to cuddle. You're yelled at and ridiculed. Even now, I don't feel like it was an abusive relationship despite all the symptoms of clearly being in one. THE RELATIONSHIP WILL NEVER SEEM LIKE ONE! You don't realize what is going on until make that sudden discovery!

My point here, is people never make the conscious decision to be in this situation. It happens, and it's scary because it's the person we trust most hurting us the worst.

I've been on the other side of this.. My boyfriend was HUGE, but I knew his health was suffering. Part of me wanted him to be healthier, and part of me didn't, because I liked him so big. Very selfish, in a way.

It's hard. When I look back I realize he was just for me for physical reasons, and I was too. Not really a 'relationship'. He still says he could be in a real relationship, but I know we can't be. We're really toxic for eachother. We destruct eachother. (never mind I'm married with kids these days )

An obsession is never healthy.

Speaking as someone in a semi-open polygamous relationship, no, a lot of people fetishize the sort of relationship I have with those I love, but I love them with all of my heart each for their own reason, and nothing in the world would change that. Each of them are special to me in their own way. However, I can see someone who mistakes the joy they have of finding someone who indulges their fetish fully as love, I've been the subject of that feeling a few times because of how I am around people, and I have in fact nearly fallen for that feeling a few times. If I knew before hand, I would never inter into such a relationship, but I could see people falling into it simply because it feels so good to be craved by someone in such a way.