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A song that will help me deal with things
19 years ago
14 years 30 minutes 15 seconds I've held this grudge
11 songs 4 full journals, thoughts of punishment I've expended
not in contact not a letter such communication telepathic
you've been vilified, used as fodder, you deserve a piece of every record
but who's it hurting now?
Who's the one that's stuck?
Who's it torturing now, with an antique knot in her stomach
I want to be big and let go of this grudge that's grown old
All this time i've not known how to rest this bygone
I want to be soft and resolved clean of slate and released
I want to forgive for the both of us
Like an abandoned house dusty-covered furniture still intact
If I visit it now, do I simply re-live it somehow gratuitous
But who's still aching now?
Who's tired of her own voice?
Who's it weighing down with no gift from time of said healing
I want to be big and let go of this grudge that's grown old
All this time i've not known how to rest this bygone
I want to be soft and resolved clean of slate and released
I want to forgive for the both of us
Maybe as i cut the cord veils will lift from my eyes
Maybe as i lay this to rest dead weight off my shoulders will rise
Here i sit, much determined ever ill-equipped to draw this curtain
How this has entertained, validated and has served me greatly ever the victim
But who's done whining now?
Who's ready to put down
This load I've carried longer than I had cared to remember
I want to be big and let go of this grudge that's grown old
For the life of me I've not known how to rest this bygone
I want to be soft and resolved clean of slate and released
I want to forgive for the both of us
=========================
This song is Copyright © Alanis Morissette
==========================
I feel that this song speaks to me, as I am known to hold grudges for a EXTREMELY long time. I've been looking back and find that Elementary School students and middleschoolers who have hurt me and shunned me, from a time that has long since past, still manage a grip on me. I hope to soon be able to reconsile and let go of these unwanted emotions based on the way I was treated, by people who have probably forgotten I had even existed. Lately, I've been trying to cast aside my fear of rejection, which is one of the hardiest things I've done so far, besides trying to stop feeling so inferior when I talk to someone close, or a stranger.
---
I know this may seem so utterly Emo, but when I act the way I act, be over-react or not... it is simply based on how I feel. I'm tring extremely hard not to take things that are said out of context, based on what my thoughts are at the time. If ever I am too quick to jump to conclusions before you are finished speaking, please tell me calmly to chill out and to let you finish, as I may have heavy thoughts on my mind and will try to push them aside.
---
There may be more to be said, but I think I will wait for another time
11 songs 4 full journals, thoughts of punishment I've expended
not in contact not a letter such communication telepathic
you've been vilified, used as fodder, you deserve a piece of every record
but who's it hurting now?
Who's the one that's stuck?
Who's it torturing now, with an antique knot in her stomach
I want to be big and let go of this grudge that's grown old
All this time i've not known how to rest this bygone
I want to be soft and resolved clean of slate and released
I want to forgive for the both of us
Like an abandoned house dusty-covered furniture still intact
If I visit it now, do I simply re-live it somehow gratuitous
But who's still aching now?
Who's tired of her own voice?
Who's it weighing down with no gift from time of said healing
I want to be big and let go of this grudge that's grown old
All this time i've not known how to rest this bygone
I want to be soft and resolved clean of slate and released
I want to forgive for the both of us
Maybe as i cut the cord veils will lift from my eyes
Maybe as i lay this to rest dead weight off my shoulders will rise
Here i sit, much determined ever ill-equipped to draw this curtain
How this has entertained, validated and has served me greatly ever the victim
But who's done whining now?
Who's ready to put down
This load I've carried longer than I had cared to remember
I want to be big and let go of this grudge that's grown old
For the life of me I've not known how to rest this bygone
I want to be soft and resolved clean of slate and released
I want to forgive for the both of us
=========================
This song is Copyright © Alanis Morissette
==========================
I feel that this song speaks to me, as I am known to hold grudges for a EXTREMELY long time. I've been looking back and find that Elementary School students and middleschoolers who have hurt me and shunned me, from a time that has long since past, still manage a grip on me. I hope to soon be able to reconsile and let go of these unwanted emotions based on the way I was treated, by people who have probably forgotten I had even existed. Lately, I've been trying to cast aside my fear of rejection, which is one of the hardiest things I've done so far, besides trying to stop feeling so inferior when I talk to someone close, or a stranger.
---
I know this may seem so utterly Emo, but when I act the way I act, be over-react or not... it is simply based on how I feel. I'm tring extremely hard not to take things that are said out of context, based on what my thoughts are at the time. If ever I am too quick to jump to conclusions before you are finished speaking, please tell me calmly to chill out and to let you finish, as I may have heavy thoughts on my mind and will try to push them aside.
---
There may be more to be said, but I think I will wait for another time
