One thing that I have is immense social anxiety. I constantly worry that others are seeing me within a different light than what I'm trying to put forward. I may at times take people up on things like requests or commissions, but one thing that I strive for immensely is to get to know people. Getting to know people helps me to step out of my comfort zone and work on my social anxiety. That's one reason why I tend to contact people out of the blue, which I'm working on.

What I'm trying to say is that although I do ask for requests when they come up or ask for commissions, the main thing I look for is friendship. I don't just ask artists for work, I want to honestly get to know them and understand them, and be understood in general. Things like requests and commissions are side bonuses to a potential friendship, things I won't turn down usually if offered, but I value the friendship over that, as friendship is something that I am lacking in at times, enough to make me a considerable amount morose. I like having people to chat with often, and to vent with on my bad days. I like listening to people talk to me about things that are going on with them, their issues, and their creative processes. I like talking shop with people, but I also constantly worry that people see me as some random individual looking for free art or getting a commission done. I'm not, I want to honestly get to know you, but I'm not the best at conveying that.

I hope I've freed up a little bit of confusion I may have among some people.