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Vent/Don't have to read, just need to get thoughts out
10 years ago
General
Hopefully by writing this, I can maybe get these toxic thoughts out of my head...Maybe...
It's 3 am, another night where I can't sleep as demons are raging a war in my head. I can't settle, can't relax, can't stop thinking...
My girlfriend and best friend are asleep, due to wake up in an hour for work and it's times like this, when they're asleep and at work that these demons have been terrorizing me the most as of the past week. When I'm alone. When I'm in their presence things are fine. When I'm alone and left to my thoughts, it's a different story.
Am I good enough? Was I ever? I don't know...They're better off without me...Will I matter when I leave? I'm not needed...I miss home...I miss my friends and family...I'm so sick of crying when people can't see me. I want these demons and thoughts to go away so I can be myself again...But I feel like I can't actually talk about it...It's not something I do, I don't open up and I put everyone else before me so I'm not a burden...
I'm going to go try cheer myself up by watching Achievement Hunter and Dutchie videos. They've always helped me at my worst...Ugh...
Will be deleting this later...Just needed an outlet...It really doesn't matter anyway...
I'm sorry guys, not in the best head space right now.
It's 3 am, another night where I can't sleep as demons are raging a war in my head. I can't settle, can't relax, can't stop thinking...
My girlfriend and best friend are asleep, due to wake up in an hour for work and it's times like this, when they're asleep and at work that these demons have been terrorizing me the most as of the past week. When I'm alone. When I'm in their presence things are fine. When I'm alone and left to my thoughts, it's a different story.
Am I good enough? Was I ever? I don't know...They're better off without me...Will I matter when I leave? I'm not needed...I miss home...I miss my friends and family...I'm so sick of crying when people can't see me. I want these demons and thoughts to go away so I can be myself again...But I feel like I can't actually talk about it...It's not something I do, I don't open up and I put everyone else before me so I'm not a burden...
I'm going to go try cheer myself up by watching Achievement Hunter and Dutchie videos. They've always helped me at my worst...Ugh...
Will be deleting this later...Just needed an outlet...It really doesn't matter anyway...
I'm sorry guys, not in the best head space right now.
sleep my little POm booty~