Hi Guys,
Just wanted to let you know that for those who have paid, and we have details hashed out- I am running a little behind! I'm going to work some over the weekend, of course, now that I've hopefully got things going in the right direction. I don't forsee this delay taking over a week, but just wanted you guys to be aware of what's going on!

If you don't mind reading, here's the long version- TL/DR further down!:

I'm no stranger to anxiety, I had some social anxiety issues all through grade school, high school, and by the time I was in college, I had started developing better coping mechanisms (however, public speaking class was still a nightmare- that I didn't do well with). But I dealt with it on my own and figured that I had mostly gotten it under control. I haven't had many 'flare-ups' in the past several years. I suppose I figured it was something I was capable of 'just dealing with'.

My work environment has been... well, less than ideal. Working with people who are vindictive, and can be very unprofessional, and well.. it's just a pretty toxic environment. I noticed that I had been feeling more anxious regarding going to work, especially on days I had to work with certain people. Well, then I hurt my back, and my anxiety shot through the roof. (my managers have been pretty crappy about the whole situation. long story) But the anxiety has been a daily thing for almost 4 weeks now. At first, I chalked it up to just being a worrier and overthinking things, and worrying too much about what they were thinking and doing...but it's been getting worse. I don't go to bed until 4 or 5am most nights, none of my usual coping mechanisms are working, and it's interfering with my daily life. I spend a lot of time in my own head, just feeling all strung out and trying to distract myself, and not really getting anywhere.

So, I finally decided, after talking with Darren and my Mom that maybe a doctor visit was in order. I really didn't want to go on anything long-term or daily medication, because I didn't want to be dependent on something.. but after talking to the Nurse Practitioner, the treatment plan and explanation of how things work and my specific situation, I think the benefit outweighs my opposition of medicating. Because I've been having issues on a daily basis, a medication to 'just calm me down' isn't a good option. Stuff like xanax isn't really good for long-term management (for my specific scenario). It should really only be used for panic attacks/ situations that cause my anxiety to get really bad. So she decided to put me on Lexapro, and did give me xanax for panic attacks, and to help until the Lexapro has time to build up in my system. They are also testing my thyroid and blood sugar and a few other things, I think, but since those can also cause similar feelings if they are out of whack. Since I felt this was all due to work situation, and being off work for my injury, and I'm working on finding another job with a much better environment, so I feel like I will even out better after that, I wanted to know if I could come off of it once I felt that the issues were resolved. I can, but she recommends giving it at least 6 months before weaning off of it. I figured that sounded fair enough. Short term plan to help me through a rough patch.

I am experiencing some start-up side effects, like nausea, headache, and some disorientation- but from what I've heard and read, these are pretty normal and drop off after a week or two. I just got the medication on Thursday, so bear with me! My anxiety was really bad Tuesday-Thursday, so I haven't been very productive. But the xanax is helping for now while the other stuff builds up, so I should be a little more functional!

Also- I did see my back doctor as well- only light duty (which my managers won't let me do) until I'm done with Physical Therapy. So basically, I'm still excused from work on doctor's orders. So yeah, I still have a lot of time on my hands :P (I am looking into other jobs though, so hopefully I'll find something soon! - hopefully for the first week of November- after my vacation.)


TL/DR:
I have been having some anxiety issues for the past 4 weeks, they kept getting worse and interfering with my daily life so I decided to see my doctor's nurse practitioner. I just started Lexapro for my anxiety, and have Xanax in the meantime to help with the panic attacks. I'm getting used to start-up side effects, and also trying to get the anxiety under control so I can be more productive! Short term plan (about 6 months) just to help get me through this rough spot. But, I've not been so productive this week, having several bad days. But, I am working on taking care of it. So, hopefully you'll understand if there's a slight delay- but I don't forsee it being longer than a week! I'm still off work, so I do still have a lot of time on my hands!

**Please check the current Queue at the bottom for quick status updates about your commission. I update that pretty regularly while I'm working- so it will let you know if I've started your commission yet, and what stage it's in!


Thanks for reading, I will be sure to note current commissioners with this journal link so everyone sees! Also- if I am delayed in responding, sometimes it has been because I'm stuck in an anxiety rut and then I forget to get back to it. I apologize- part of the reason I wanted to get this addressed, besides the fact that feeling like this sucks, is that I just don't feel like myself when it gets bad. I shy away from people/ shut down/ get short with people. It's better with those I'm close to, but for people I don't know that well, it's harder.


Sorry for the long vent-y kinda journal, but just wanted to make sure you guys know what's up!

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