Thanks for all the comments on my last entry. I appreciate the birthday wishes as well.

Lately I've been having some issues on the whole. I'm not as sweet and wholly empathetic as I once was. I've become more blunt about things. And it's costing me friends.

I need to put this out there though as I don't ever tell anyone anything. This may sound like old news but having major health issues really changes your ability to handle certain things.

Like in the blogs I read elsewhere one girl is complaining about how she is overweight and doesn't have a boyfriend but she drinks like a fish and is beyond insane on the dating front. It is everything within me you guys to not leave her a note saying "Quit your drinking and maybe you'd lose a few fuckin' pounds and stop dating nice guys but dumping them for shit like they forgot to bring a toothbrush with them on a date that turned into a one night stand".

Almost dying does clarify things in the cold light of day. Having a best friend doesn't mean that you necessarily have someone who is with you through thick and thin. Whining about not having any money when you blow your paycheck on a new wardrobe every week is stupid and makes you look stupid.

Some things and people that we think we need or think we like or even think we love can poison our souls and rot our minds and yet very few people seem to care until the damage is done and can never be repaired.

Now of course with very few exceptions I keep these things to myself and the few times I let them out with people I cared for...its bit me in the ass.

But I can't keep myself up at night until the wee hours of the morning worrying about people and crying over people. It's enough to cry over myself.