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Problem in Regards to Role Playing IRL (Help?)
10 years ago
General
So, this is a bit of a personal issue but hopefully someone can give me some advice. I sometimes find it fun to act out a character I happen to like around friends. Basically to me it's just like doing an impression for a little while. I've told my boyfriend this and he doesn't understand how anyone can find it enjoyable, because he views it less as doing an impression and more as completely 100% pretending to be someone else. So in his eyes, when I ask him to do it (which I have STOPPED by the way since I know he hates it), what I'm really asking is for him to be someone he's not for a while. I've tried explaining to him that it doesn't need to be taken that seriously, and that he can find a middle ground of acting like both himself and the character, but since in his eyes the point is to completely be someone else, he can't accept that.
Can anyone help me think of a way to try to explain it to him better? I have no plans to continue attempting to role play with him, especially not during sexual activities, but I would at least like to try and get him to understand that I don't want him to be someone he's not. So far to me it seems like he's in the state of mind of “I want to understand this thing you like but I refuse to make any real attempt to accept what you're telling me in your efforts to get me to understand it.”
Can anyone help me think of a way to try to explain it to him better? I have no plans to continue attempting to role play with him, especially not during sexual activities, but I would at least like to try and get him to understand that I don't want him to be someone he's not. So far to me it seems like he's in the state of mind of “I want to understand this thing you like but I refuse to make any real attempt to accept what you're telling me in your efforts to get me to understand it.”
Like if I said something Meta Knight said in the Kirby anime while trying to sound like Meta Knight. I'm not trying to seriously act like I'm the guy that voiced Meta Knight, I'm just having fun doing the voice, even though I kinda suck at it.
I mean, the whole point of impressions are either practicing to get into acting, prepare for a role if you're already an actor, or just plain having fun. Since you're clearing doing that last thing, there's nothing serious about it, so I don't see why he has to take it as such.
Why do I feel like you've had this kind of issue with one of your friends before?
Are actors in films and TV programs the characters and personas they portray in the motion picture outside of the media? No. Each actor and actress is his or her own person outside of it all.
Acting doesn't make you fake, doesn't mask who you are, and doesn't hide anything about you.
Only time one could say someone is not being his or herself in this case, is if it is all being overdone.
Going back to the role-playing topic, if he wants to understand your and others' reasoning behind the joy in it, he needs to put his own feelings on the topic aside and really try to learn why someone may want to be a certain persona. How no one can change who they truly are, but a persona is almost another you.
In my opinion(though I'm no expert), you do seem to be a little bit unfair here. While I can understand that it's something you really enjoy and would like even more if he would participate(which is good), you can't seem to accept that it makes him uncomfortable and he just doesn't want to do it(which isn't good).
Essentially, role playing really is being somebody you are not. Movie and voice actors do it all the time; they're playing a role that isn't them. I'm sure there is a middle ground somewhere, but if your boyfriend is uncomfortable to even do partial roles, then I wouldn't try to talk to him about it anymore. He seems like he was trying to understand, but just can't. If he is okay with you role playing and stuff though, then he does accept it; he just doesn't want to do it himself.
Neither one of you are in the wrong in having your preferences; you both just need to understand and accept that one of you likes role play and the other one doesn't, and just leave it at that.
Like I said, I don't expect him to do it anymore, I'm only trying to explain it to him. I've asked him several times not to do it, but he's insisted on it a few times because he thinks I would enjoy it if he got it right. Knowing he doesn't want to do it for any reason other than that, I would NOT enjoy it and have told him to stop. I can perfectly understand and accept him not liking it; it's not for everyone. The issue is he can't seem to think of it as anything other than me telling him "I want someone else I can be romantically/sexually involved with for a while instead of yourself, please pretend to do that for me thanks" which isn't how I'm seeing it.
Even though I don't do it anymore, I can still totally understand your last statement. If he really is seeing it that way then...yeah that's defiantly something that would be really hard to explain, hmm....Its probably not the best advice, but you could always tell him that if you wanted to be romanticly/sexually involved with someone else, then you would just break up with him and see other people instead. I dunno, sorry I'm not much help ;u;
Sometimes being blunt works.
There is a much deeper issue there that needs to be solved.