Posting this because rumors are already spreading about the dramabomb yesterday that I was involved in, and I want to let people know what actually happened. that and I really wanted a chance to vent, and it’s usually easier for me to do so in writing.

Really, this all starts about a year and a half ago when we took a pet. The people who know him will know who I’m talking about, but I’m just going to refer to him as K. as I think one should with a pet, I loved him very much. So did my mate. Yes, we were a little strict as masters, but our main rule we had in regards to our pet doing things with others was that he usually could do whatever with whomever as long as he asked first, barring that he wasn’t being punished for something, and a few people that he didn’t have to ask.

That’s what made it hard when we found out the first time he cheated on us. I use the term cheated because both myself and my mate feel that pets are just a small step below boyfriend, and we trust that they remain faithful. He said he behaved himself when he went to visit a friend, but then we found out, from someone else of course, that was not the case. When confronted about it, K said that he was given permission, and didn’t remember us asking if he played or not. While trying to get that mess sorted out, another friend of ours came forward to tell us he’d played with K before, and he was under the impression that we were asked first. The friend felt bad, but we didn’t blame him. He didn’t know that we weren’t asked. My mate wanted to drop him as a pet right then. I convinced him to give K another chance. So he was just put on a probation period, even though he’d already lost my mate’s trust.

Not long after that, it was brought to my attention that K was doing something else that he wasn’t supposed to. We didn’t mind him having pets of his own, he already had one, but again, he had to ask, and we had to approve. Instead, K, and I’ll call this one L, decided to try to do this as much in secret as they could. I found out through an offhand comment that was made by K calling L a pet. I confronted him on this, and he said he didn’t see the harm in letting L call him master if he wanted to. And as I had before a couple of times, I decided to cover for him. I knew if my mate wasn’t told and he found out from someone else, K would probably no longer be a pet. I told both K and L that one of them needed to tell my mate within the next 24 hours, or I would do it myself. Did K do it? No. not until after L called my mate and told him himself because I was about to do it. Time was up. He was let off with a warning.

Over the remaining months of our relationship with K, he would come up and try to do nice things for us to make us happy, but I’d still hear about things he was doing. I’d keep my mouth shut anyways, because I didn’t want to lose him. Drama seemed to follow him everywhere, and we’d get sucked into it because he was our pet. Then, almost a month ago, I was talking with a friend on the phone. I’ll call this one O. he told me that K had been over to visit and they had played. Actually, what he said was he’d raped K’s ass and used him for BDSM practice. This was all news to me. I knew K wanted to play with O. I had just asked him a few days prior if he was going to get the chance and he told me he hadn’t yet. But apparently he had. About a week before I’d asked him. O didn’t know I didn’t know and apologized. Even said if one of his pets cheated like that, he would be gone the first time it happened. as soon as I got off the phone with O, I called K myself, told him to take off his collar because he would no longer be wearing it. He was officially disowned. I told him exactly why. Then I couldn’t handle talking to him anymore. I broke down. Went out and walked about five blocks and had my mate come pick me up to take me home.

I cried myself to sleep that night. I cried a lot following that. Especially since K kept contacting me, telling me he was sorry, he still loved me, thought of me as a mate. Promised that even though he wasn’t a pet anymore, he would still be keeping me informed, and also promised that he would not be taking another master as he was too broken up over losing us. After a couple of weeks of talking, I started to forgive him yet again. I still loved him. He would come up to visit, tell me how much he loved me still…

Then came Furry Connection North. He had told me beforehand there was only one person he might do things with at the con. Within the first hour and a half of me walking around the con on my own, I was approached by not one, not two, but three people asking if I’d seen K because he was supposed to be “hanging out” with them if you know what I mean. This pissed me off a little, but whatever. Not my problem. Then I was told by a couple of people that he’d been collared by someone and was their new pet. I decided to ask K about this, he maintained that all of it was rumors. Every last bit. I told him I didn’t really feel like talking to him about it any more because I still loved and cared for him. Of course, K kept texting me. All day. Telling me they were rumors, I could trust him, he loved me like a mate and wouldn’t lie to me. But the fact that more people kept approaching me about the same things involving K upset me. I cried myself to sleep again that night, had nightmares and woke up crying in the morning.

As the second day of the convention went on, I was enjoying myself. I was kept distracted from emo things and was really having fun. I kept avoiding K because I wasn’t sure what to think or say to him. I was hanging out in a friend’s room, and he came in to visit people too. I left to go hang out somewhere else with another friend. K texted me saying that he still hadn’t done anything with anyone at the con. But this friend, R, told me that earlier that day, he’d seen K. in fact, they’d done more than hang out. It was the kind of hanging out people do with condoms and stuff. And K had shown R his new collar, even though K was still maintaining the fact that it was only a rumor, he didn’t have a new master at all because he wanted me back as a master.

I got a little upset so I went outside to get some air. K said he wanted to talk to me because he knew I was upset over the “rumors” going around and he wanted to see me. After I’d calmed down enough, I texted him to tell him where I was outside to talk. He came out and I asked him straight out if I could see his new collar. He said he didn’t have one, that was just a rumor. I asked him if he’d done things with anyone at the con, he told me no. so I told him I knew he’d done things with R. and R had told me that the two of them had done things together when K was still our pet that I didn’t know about because just like the others, R was under the impression that we knew. He still denied everything. So I called R, put him on speaker and asked him again. Instead of telling me over the phone, he said he was coming outside to help mediate. While waiting, I asked to see his collar again and he finally admitted to having one, but it wasn’t official because he didn’t want that. That’s why he didn’t wear it. I know whose collar it was now, and that I will cover in a bit. R came out and I asked R what the two of them had done, and R admitted it. I looked K square in the face and dared him to deny it again. Instead, he turned around and said he didn’t want to talk about this anymore. I broke down again and lost control. I hit him across the face. It may have been an open palmed slap, but there was more force behind it than I would ever even use to spank someone. It knocked him back a couple steps. Then I walked away. And I kept walking. I was afraid if I would have stayed, I would have done more than that.

I was a ways away, walking through a parking lot and crying, trying to get ahold of any friend I knew that I could trust to come out with me because I really didn’t want to be alone. Then it started to rain. I walked back in the rain, still crying, until I found my car and I sat in that. Around then I started getting calls and text messages from people. I didn’t answer the calls unless it was someone I knew I could trust, and I was also selective about what text messages I responded to. It was then I got one from O.

Here’s one of the things that pissed me off and upset me even more. K’s new master was O. the very person he had cheated with last and the one who’d helped me make the final decision to disown him who said he would do the same thing. He said that they didn’t want to tell me because they wanted to wait until they thought I could handle it. So even though I’d already found out, they decided to deny it, even though they were telling everyone else. O said it was more his decision than K’s. so I told him to go to hell, too. I cried for four hours that night. I cried until no more tears would come, and then I cried some more. The thing that’s hardest for me to understand is how could K, or anyone for that matter, tell someone they love them like a mate and then lie straight to their face, looking them straight in the eyes, and when the truth comes out, just decide to run away. That’s what hurt the most. After covering for him so many times, helping him out and giving him my love, he lied and betrayed me.

Yes, I feel bad for the drama I caused at the con. Yes I’ll feel bad if this causes some drama as well, but do I feel bad for hitting K and telling him I never want to see or hear him again? No. not at all. Do I feel bad for telling O to go to hell for helping hide things from me? No. not sure I want to see him or his mate anymore either.

I skipped the last day of the con today so I could think things over and have time to myself, as well as avoid questions from people. Might go back tonight for a room party to hangout with some friends, I haven’t decided. I am thankful for my friends who were there for me to help me out, trying to make me feel better. Stupid stuff like this always helps you figure out who your true friends are.

Now time to go get a pack of cigarettes, because I could really use one right now.

/vent