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My pup... Not Doing Well =C
10 years ago
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So... Some of the side effects of prednisone include increased appetite, increased thirst, (which come with the need to go potty more), heavy breathing, panting, lethargy (Lack of motivation/energy), depression, diarrhea, vomiting, course/fine grungy coat, and many others...
AnnaBelle has only been on it for a week and a half and is showing almost all these symptoms.... It's making her miserable. She knows she isn't supposed to potty in the house but she can't help it when she does if nobody wakes up at night to let her out or if everyone is at work, ect. So now she hides, runs away when we come home, cowers and just feels ashamed of herself. Nobody is mad, nobody yells at her... she just knows better and because she did the deed she is scared that it'll upset us.
On top of that she's been acting depressed, not wanting to play as much, unable to play when she does want too because of loss of breath and she's gained quite a bit of weight in the past week and a half to where she looks more than pudgy... She's been stealing food from our plates, eating out of the litter box, digging in the trash and much more just to sate her appetite.
I hate seeing her so miserable... The side effects of the prednisone seem worse than her initial diagnosis of cancer. So... with that in mind, and after talking to the vet, I've made the decision to opt out of the medicine. If she is not happy taking it, then why make her? I didn't give it to her yesterday or today. Only one accident so far which happened while I was at work. She's back to eating/drinking almost normal amounts and all the huffing/heavy breathing has quit. She is also back to chasing the kitty around and playing with him and us again.
What I've basically done is chose quality over quantity... It breaks my heart to think this means she will leave me faster but at the same time I don't want to remember her last days being complete misery for her. If this means she leaves me a month or two sooner then so be it... at least she will get to enjoy the coming weeks. Her prognosis with prednisone was only 1-3 months, and without it, it is 4-6 weeks. So... My guess is she will be gone by the time Christmas gets here, or very soon after/before my birthday.
As much as I want to be selfish and give her the steroid I just can't watch her hate herself for having accidents and all that... struggling to breath, struggling to play. This girl has been my entire life. My soul dog. My first that I'll have had which was mine and not the 'families'. The first I'll have had from puppy til death... She was in training to be my PTSD/Autism Service dog. Only she has been able to break me away from panic attacks. She reads me like an open book. She knows if someone is making me nervous, and makes them back away if they are in my personal space. She knows when I'm not feeling well and lays across my feet while I sit in my chair. She knows if I'm about to have a panic attack and will lick my fists so I remember to uncurl them so my nails don't cut into my palms, and she will nuzzle my face and neck when I am having one of my many panic attacks and crying like a baby while being unable to breath. No ... she was not trained to do any of this. See, that is what makes her so special... it's a connection between the two of us so rare I doubt I'll find another dog to ever match her abilities of smartness, cunning and love.
Sure, I can get another dog and have them trained to do all the same things, and I will over time... but, it wouldn't be the same. Eventually, maybe even soon, I will get another dog and learn to love them as well but... Nobody will ever replace or come close to my AnnaBelle. She's my baby, and I feel like... if I had a kid, I would be loosing them instead of 'just a dog' as some keep trying to tell me she is. She's not just a dog, she's not just 'A' family member either... she is my soul dog, my heart dog, a very huge and large part of me. Through many times of me wanting to give up on this life I live, she gave me a reason to hold on. She needed me just as much as I needed her. Nobody knew her like I did, nobody could sense when she was needing to go out (as it was a certain look she would give me, she knew of no other way to tell others). Nobody could tell when she wasn't feeling well cause they never paid close enough attention. I knew though, and she knew to come to me. She is my baby... and I hate that I have to loose her...
Anyway... that is the update for now =C Sorry I'm so sappy and sad lately, I just can't believe this is happening. Especially to a 4 year old dog who was mostly healthy before hand despite some skin/allergy issues.
Thank you for those watching and following... All the support is welcome and I also apologize for not always responding to responses... if I think too much on it all I end up having a panic attack so I fair better to just post, read the comments then to go on with busying myself with something to do rather than to dwell on it. Especially since she can pick up on my feelings and I don't want her upset just because I am unhappy for the time being. Our time is too short for all that... Just know I'm reading, and I see the comments. And I thank you all for the responses.
Always,
Angel & AnnaBelle
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❤ Awesome People ❤
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Give her all the love & care like you always have she will appreciate that & im sure she herself knows it will be time but will not leave your side, even when you part I know no dog can replace her, enjoy the memories of now & hope you enjoy every second of it.
Be strong hun I know its hard to in these circumstances but you have to be, for her, sending hugs your way will be here for support hun
And you will indeed never see another dog or cat the same way as you did your beloved soul dog.
I´ve had many pets in my life after my beloved (and first) GSD and while i have loved them all and have many precious memories with each of them, there will always be a special lil place in my heart for my original fluff <3
In the end, what matters is that you make the pup happy every day that has yet to live by your side, and let her part with no regrets.
A big hug for you, and be strong, like you always have <3