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NEW ACCOUNT DOCTRINE- It's a Long Read, But It's Important
10 years ago
Alright, so I know only six of you watch this page for the time being, but I figured I may as well be up-front and honest with everyone, and anyone new coming to check out my work can be thus informed.
REINTRODUCTION AND EXPLANATION OF HIATUS
So first of all, I want to say that I discovered, a few months ago, that I am a trans woman. When I initially started this account, I didn't realize that, but the fact that I was so inclined to be known as a woman in everything (not just here) finally opened the door to me questioning my given gender. I began to go to counseling, and found out that my brand of depression had a name: dysphoria. Basically, it's when you look in the mirror and the person looking back at you doesn't match how you feel inside. That feeling is... really, really horrible, and it got to the point that once I was living on my own and had my own place, the ONLY thing I would do would be work and curl up in a blanket to watch TV.
But there was another issue: I wasn't single. This wasn't a long relationship, in fact many people would later say that I was using her to get over the relationship that had come before (3.5 years, engaged to be married, she cheated just before the wedding). However, I never felt like that. I had finally found a name to put on my depression and I wanted to make sure I was right before jeopardizing the relationship.
Well, I finally confirmed it for myself, with the counselor's help, and I told my SO. Sure enough, that wasn't the type of relationship she wanted, so she left. Part of me was sad, but another part of me was like, "Well hey, now I can go forward and be me." Well, sort of. Without her here I have to leave my apartment and move back in with Mom and Dad, which means transitioning will be going on stealthily through hormone therapy, as they are both very religious and I would be homeless if they were privy to that.
WHY EXACTLY I'M HERE
So, why am I back here? Well, through the whole time I was gone, I kept writing. And everything I wrote had the same, furry themes throughout it. I started trying to draw again and realized just how bad I am at it. But, because my interest in the fandom was piqued again, I went back to what got me into it the first time: Clawcast. I'm in the process of re-listening to all of the episodes again, but here's the thing. This fandom and what it includes is full of things that I enjoy. Not only that, but from what I've seen, this fandom is one of the MOST CONCENTRATED GROUPS OF ACCEPTING PEOPLE I HAVE EVER FOUND, and I need that right now.
So I'm starting over. I'm reintroducing myself, this time as a woman and telling the truth. My name is Skylar, and I'm not a traditional artist. When I can't hold it in anymore, I try to barf out some of my imagination as pictures, but when I do, if they make it here, they will be going in scraps. I'm doing this because this page should be a representation of my talent within the bounds of the fandom and the community, and drawing/painting/sketching is not my talent.
WHAT TO EXPECT FROM ME HERE
Rather, my talent is writing, and to a lesser extent, music. Everything that I post to my primary gallery will be stories I have written, either on my own or (with their permission) others. I will post everything from my primary character work (ProjectVEX and Strange New Land), to one off stories, to poems, to fully worked RPs, and anything in between. I will also post any original music that I have recorded, even though those songs are me pre-transition (ie, voice therapy).
While I know writing is my strength and that I should showcase it, I am also not naive. Writing is the singular most difficult medium to expose people to anymore because we live in an instant gratification society, and (most) people are lazy. Not necessarily pandering to this, but more so adapting to it, I will be providing audio versions of all of my primary work so they are more accessible to people who can't sit down for 15-20 minutes and read it on the site. Depending on how successful these are, I may also set up a podcast for each of these stories so new chapters are automatically at the listener's disposal and they don't have to make a special trip here with their phone to download and transfer them over. Again though, this will depend on how successful these stories are.
Beyond writing and music, and the odd artwork in scraps, I want to become more active in the community as a whole, as I'll talk more about a little later on. Because of this, I will be commissioning as much artwork as I can afford from various artists in the community, both to supplement my gallery and give my vision in my stories something actually visual. I also look forward to supporting the artists for the sake of supporting them.
PROJECTVEX (STILL WORKING TITLE)
ProjectVEX is the first really serious work I've ever invested myself in, but I started it a long time ago, about 8 years ago in fact. Because of this, the first 3-4 chapters aren't really up to snuff with the rest of the story, and I'd like to fix that. Here's a quick rundown of what all will be done to it, for those of you who may be worried that the story itself will change:
1. Good Hunting and the Artificiate will be reworked entirely so they make more sense. Both chapters (and to a lesser extent, HAAKer Embodied) follow the same formula, and all three chapters seem forced because of it.
2. The story seems like it starts when I write the first word and stops when I close the chapter. This is a mark of poor storytelling. Through more exposition and fleshing out the chapters, I can make the story feel like it's been going on well before the reader gets there and continues on after they leave.
3. Speaking of exposition, I went overboard on acronyms and jargon in the first few chapters. Instead, I'd rather be more narrative (while maintaining the first-person perspective) and descriptive so its not as hard to understand what's going on.
4. In the last few chapters, the character of Gunnar will be getting reworked. He will be renamed; he's a different species than Vexie, his name should not be so generic and should sound exotic and different from her species. Also with Gunnar, he's such an interesting character, but he's flat. It seems like I made him interesting just to say I did. I'd rather explain more why he is the way he is, make him more 3-dimensional, so we care about him, and so he's not just a safety valve for Vexie.
5. Lastly, the series of diaries and data logs that I wrote separately while initially posting these on DA will be reworked into the chapters. They will add some much-needed length and substance to some of the earlier chapters, instead of being "bonus" stuff to add at the end.
After all of these fixes have been made, I will repost the edited chapters, along with their respective recorded versions, and file them into folders. Subsequent chapters will happen about every 3 months or so, and will have a recorded version released alongside them. They will all also have a much-improved synopsis (as you'll see on the existing chapters) and will begin to move this story along.
OTHER PROJECTS
Here, I'll just mention the other content that I will be adding to the gallery, as well as a brief description of each:
1. Strange New Land is an odd mix of truth and fiction. Taking place in Portland, OR around two years from now, it follows my furry self (Skylar Southpaw) in her new life in a new place. It deals with such issues currently facing me as dysphoria, unemployment, misgendering and trans societal problems, and giant, flat worms rising up from beneath major cities and wiping them off the face of the planet. Does Skye have something to do with it? Ah, just a normal day in the life.
2. Leap is a story about a group of mutants living in a future where Tokyo has burned to the ground and been rebuilt into a steel and neon jungle called “Hibiscus". The world government has devolved into a totalitarian chaos where dissent and disobedience is punished swiftly and mercilessly. The people are without hope and the future of life is bleak. However, mutants, offspring of an off-the-wall group of nut jobs who combined their DNA with all manner of life through genetic splicing, choose to use their various talents and agility to rise up and strike fear in the heart of the Emperor.
3. Iron Blade, Onyx Claw is a fantasy story about the conflict between all types of anthro creatures. I'm not nearly as great at fantasy as I am at sci-fi, but there's a lot of really good character conflict in this book, so I may keep it going.
Above and beyond writing these, you may see some of my original music, poetry, and one-off stories, as long as they have to do with the fandom. My commissioned artwork will be on here, I will be starting to attend cons when I can, and I will be commissioning a partial fursuit as well, so photos of all that will also be on here.
Last thing I want to mention (for the time being at least) is that I greatly want to convert ProjectVEX to either a graphic novel or a web comic. I will be networking with artists at various cons looking to see if someone would like to partner up for that, but failing that, I may even commission it; it would just work too well.
In closing, it's great to be back. Come RP with me in the Furtopis IRC or send me a request on WoW (Stormrage, Ally) and just generally hang out, because I'm back, and I'm here to stay.
REINTRODUCTION AND EXPLANATION OF HIATUS
So first of all, I want to say that I discovered, a few months ago, that I am a trans woman. When I initially started this account, I didn't realize that, but the fact that I was so inclined to be known as a woman in everything (not just here) finally opened the door to me questioning my given gender. I began to go to counseling, and found out that my brand of depression had a name: dysphoria. Basically, it's when you look in the mirror and the person looking back at you doesn't match how you feel inside. That feeling is... really, really horrible, and it got to the point that once I was living on my own and had my own place, the ONLY thing I would do would be work and curl up in a blanket to watch TV.
But there was another issue: I wasn't single. This wasn't a long relationship, in fact many people would later say that I was using her to get over the relationship that had come before (3.5 years, engaged to be married, she cheated just before the wedding). However, I never felt like that. I had finally found a name to put on my depression and I wanted to make sure I was right before jeopardizing the relationship.
Well, I finally confirmed it for myself, with the counselor's help, and I told my SO. Sure enough, that wasn't the type of relationship she wanted, so she left. Part of me was sad, but another part of me was like, "Well hey, now I can go forward and be me." Well, sort of. Without her here I have to leave my apartment and move back in with Mom and Dad, which means transitioning will be going on stealthily through hormone therapy, as they are both very religious and I would be homeless if they were privy to that.
WHY EXACTLY I'M HERE
So, why am I back here? Well, through the whole time I was gone, I kept writing. And everything I wrote had the same, furry themes throughout it. I started trying to draw again and realized just how bad I am at it. But, because my interest in the fandom was piqued again, I went back to what got me into it the first time: Clawcast. I'm in the process of re-listening to all of the episodes again, but here's the thing. This fandom and what it includes is full of things that I enjoy. Not only that, but from what I've seen, this fandom is one of the MOST CONCENTRATED GROUPS OF ACCEPTING PEOPLE I HAVE EVER FOUND, and I need that right now.
So I'm starting over. I'm reintroducing myself, this time as a woman and telling the truth. My name is Skylar, and I'm not a traditional artist. When I can't hold it in anymore, I try to barf out some of my imagination as pictures, but when I do, if they make it here, they will be going in scraps. I'm doing this because this page should be a representation of my talent within the bounds of the fandom and the community, and drawing/painting/sketching is not my talent.
WHAT TO EXPECT FROM ME HERE
Rather, my talent is writing, and to a lesser extent, music. Everything that I post to my primary gallery will be stories I have written, either on my own or (with their permission) others. I will post everything from my primary character work (ProjectVEX and Strange New Land), to one off stories, to poems, to fully worked RPs, and anything in between. I will also post any original music that I have recorded, even though those songs are me pre-transition (ie, voice therapy).
While I know writing is my strength and that I should showcase it, I am also not naive. Writing is the singular most difficult medium to expose people to anymore because we live in an instant gratification society, and (most) people are lazy. Not necessarily pandering to this, but more so adapting to it, I will be providing audio versions of all of my primary work so they are more accessible to people who can't sit down for 15-20 minutes and read it on the site. Depending on how successful these are, I may also set up a podcast for each of these stories so new chapters are automatically at the listener's disposal and they don't have to make a special trip here with their phone to download and transfer them over. Again though, this will depend on how successful these stories are.
Beyond writing and music, and the odd artwork in scraps, I want to become more active in the community as a whole, as I'll talk more about a little later on. Because of this, I will be commissioning as much artwork as I can afford from various artists in the community, both to supplement my gallery and give my vision in my stories something actually visual. I also look forward to supporting the artists for the sake of supporting them.
PROJECTVEX (STILL WORKING TITLE)
ProjectVEX is the first really serious work I've ever invested myself in, but I started it a long time ago, about 8 years ago in fact. Because of this, the first 3-4 chapters aren't really up to snuff with the rest of the story, and I'd like to fix that. Here's a quick rundown of what all will be done to it, for those of you who may be worried that the story itself will change:
1. Good Hunting and the Artificiate will be reworked entirely so they make more sense. Both chapters (and to a lesser extent, HAAKer Embodied) follow the same formula, and all three chapters seem forced because of it.
2. The story seems like it starts when I write the first word and stops when I close the chapter. This is a mark of poor storytelling. Through more exposition and fleshing out the chapters, I can make the story feel like it's been going on well before the reader gets there and continues on after they leave.
3. Speaking of exposition, I went overboard on acronyms and jargon in the first few chapters. Instead, I'd rather be more narrative (while maintaining the first-person perspective) and descriptive so its not as hard to understand what's going on.
4. In the last few chapters, the character of Gunnar will be getting reworked. He will be renamed; he's a different species than Vexie, his name should not be so generic and should sound exotic and different from her species. Also with Gunnar, he's such an interesting character, but he's flat. It seems like I made him interesting just to say I did. I'd rather explain more why he is the way he is, make him more 3-dimensional, so we care about him, and so he's not just a safety valve for Vexie.
5. Lastly, the series of diaries and data logs that I wrote separately while initially posting these on DA will be reworked into the chapters. They will add some much-needed length and substance to some of the earlier chapters, instead of being "bonus" stuff to add at the end.
After all of these fixes have been made, I will repost the edited chapters, along with their respective recorded versions, and file them into folders. Subsequent chapters will happen about every 3 months or so, and will have a recorded version released alongside them. They will all also have a much-improved synopsis (as you'll see on the existing chapters) and will begin to move this story along.
OTHER PROJECTS
Here, I'll just mention the other content that I will be adding to the gallery, as well as a brief description of each:
1. Strange New Land is an odd mix of truth and fiction. Taking place in Portland, OR around two years from now, it follows my furry self (Skylar Southpaw) in her new life in a new place. It deals with such issues currently facing me as dysphoria, unemployment, misgendering and trans societal problems, and giant, flat worms rising up from beneath major cities and wiping them off the face of the planet. Does Skye have something to do with it? Ah, just a normal day in the life.
2. Leap is a story about a group of mutants living in a future where Tokyo has burned to the ground and been rebuilt into a steel and neon jungle called “Hibiscus". The world government has devolved into a totalitarian chaos where dissent and disobedience is punished swiftly and mercilessly. The people are without hope and the future of life is bleak. However, mutants, offspring of an off-the-wall group of nut jobs who combined their DNA with all manner of life through genetic splicing, choose to use their various talents and agility to rise up and strike fear in the heart of the Emperor.
3. Iron Blade, Onyx Claw is a fantasy story about the conflict between all types of anthro creatures. I'm not nearly as great at fantasy as I am at sci-fi, but there's a lot of really good character conflict in this book, so I may keep it going.
Above and beyond writing these, you may see some of my original music, poetry, and one-off stories, as long as they have to do with the fandom. My commissioned artwork will be on here, I will be starting to attend cons when I can, and I will be commissioning a partial fursuit as well, so photos of all that will also be on here.
Last thing I want to mention (for the time being at least) is that I greatly want to convert ProjectVEX to either a graphic novel or a web comic. I will be networking with artists at various cons looking to see if someone would like to partner up for that, but failing that, I may even commission it; it would just work too well.
In closing, it's great to be back. Come RP with me in the Furtopis IRC or send me a request on WoW (Stormrage, Ally) and just generally hang out, because I'm back, and I'm here to stay.
