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MFF Recap and Updates!
10 years ago
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|| Trello| TOS |Business HRS/Schedule || Hey everyone!
Back from MFF and I had a blast (mostly). For most of the weekend I met a lot of new people and have been to a lot of room parties with the archangels and several others. At the same time, I was around so many new people I kinda had a hard time interacting with everyone since they all mostly were closer to each other with their friends than I was with everyone else that I did know ;-;. From all that I've been honestly extremely emotionally and socially drained since I kinda felt more comfortable being with people I knew about than being around those that were friends of friends, if you catch my drift. Not that I hate meeting new people, but it's moreso that I've met SO MANY all at once that I kinda turned into a tiny ball of shyness. Basically, Thursday was mostly all sleeping (since Riley, Pox, and I essentially stayed up from Wednesday to Thursday morning to catch our super early flight); Friday was mostly a suiting and catch up day and an amazing dinner at a steakhouse with major suit maker friends of Riley and Telephone; Saturday was all about Dutch Angel Dragons and hanging out with everyone plus archangels and Telephone.
Sunday was a pretty emotional day for me, I was feeling very low since I woke up that morning (plus I had to wake up a bit early to go to a pretty special photo shoot; no worries, I got a nap afterwards). Some events happened and I basically went into a very silent mode for a good chunk of the day until in the evening we went out for sushi. I brightened up a little from there. We get back into the hotel, we're still stupid high energy so we go to Ino's room and suit up. (Note: Yes, I became Telephone). From then on, I started enjoying my con again.
We left Monday afternoon, and we had an airport con with a few friends and proceeded to pass out the moment we got home.
Essentially, I had a really relaxing con, can't wait for next year for sure.
---
Update of what has happened during my three weeks of silence:
I'm not one to share much about my personal reasons of why I do things unless you're a close friend, but I'll start like this:
I'm not at home right now. I have not been there for about three and half weeks. I've essentially taken my cats, my work supplies, and some clothes with me to a different location to get away from my dads house. It started out as just a house sitting escapade, but it then turned into a much longer stay the longer I stayed away from my dads house. I did not realize how much safer and clearer minded I have felt while being away from my dads house, that I have started thinking about perhaps moving out a bit sooner than I expected. Just so you're all aware, so you don't think it's why I'm not home: No, I am not being abused by my dad in any way. In fact, I still like my dad, but we do not see eye to eye when it comes to how things are run or even talking about personal issues. I have wasted too much patience, too much kindness, and too much forgiveness on this man that I can no longer feel safe. This meaning I feel exceptionally trapped and unsafe sharing any personal feelings with my own father about anything I am going through in my life. We never speak about anything, and when we do my dad just loves to just bury it under the rug and disproving anything I want to say or share. I constantly feel alone while being at that house, and have shed too many tears than I can count. He doesn't understand, and he doesn't want to understand because he always has to be right. He hates my cats and has been very loud and adamant about his displeasure with them. I can never relax in that house, and I constantly bury myself into seclusion or work because I feel so trapped. I stopped eating regularly, I stay awake later because I'm so afraid of going downstairs (his office is right down the stairs) until he goes to bed. I just can't interact with him any longer. He is foreboding, overly authoritative, and too old school for me to feel safe. It even got to the point I don't even feel my cats are safe to be there while I'm even out for an hour. So, I told my dad I was going to be gone, and left the premises with my cats. I have been jumping between two separate residences where my closest friends are (they have been so amazing with helping me live elsewhere and even provide a place for my cats). I've been soaring as much as I can with the little money I have accrued from my work, paid for my bills when they come, and essentially have been living as independently as possible (with some help along the way).
With that in mind, I have done my best to heal mentally and emotionally while also doing some suit work (as promised). I've done a lot of patterning work as well as started work on a head.
Planning on returning to the house on Saturday, but I definitely have needed to take a step back and look at my situation without being in it. My conclusion from all this, I need to get out of that house. But I may need to leave a lot sooner than I've been planning (which is around late March-May). I REALLY don't want to move out so soon, but if it means that I can feel free from my dad and can actually feel like myself again, I just might HAVE to...
Along with that, for a week before MFF I essentially helped save a life with Pox. Ever since, I have been making sure that this person is still ok and is in good hands with him. I won't share anymore info about that, but if I do disappear for a few days again, just know it's most likely because of that.
I'll be returning to work tomorrow, but I'll be focusing on suits again until I go home (with some drawing thrown in there too...). We'll see how it goes~
Thank you all so much for your patience!
-Ruka
Back from MFF and I had a blast (mostly). For most of the weekend I met a lot of new people and have been to a lot of room parties with the archangels and several others. At the same time, I was around so many new people I kinda had a hard time interacting with everyone since they all mostly were closer to each other with their friends than I was with everyone else that I did know ;-;. From all that I've been honestly extremely emotionally and socially drained since I kinda felt more comfortable being with people I knew about than being around those that were friends of friends, if you catch my drift. Not that I hate meeting new people, but it's moreso that I've met SO MANY all at once that I kinda turned into a tiny ball of shyness. Basically, Thursday was mostly all sleeping (since Riley, Pox, and I essentially stayed up from Wednesday to Thursday morning to catch our super early flight); Friday was mostly a suiting and catch up day and an amazing dinner at a steakhouse with major suit maker friends of Riley and Telephone; Saturday was all about Dutch Angel Dragons and hanging out with everyone plus archangels and Telephone.
Sunday was a pretty emotional day for me, I was feeling very low since I woke up that morning (plus I had to wake up a bit early to go to a pretty special photo shoot; no worries, I got a nap afterwards). Some events happened and I basically went into a very silent mode for a good chunk of the day until in the evening we went out for sushi. I brightened up a little from there. We get back into the hotel, we're still stupid high energy so we go to Ino's room and suit up. (Note: Yes, I became Telephone). From then on, I started enjoying my con again.
We left Monday afternoon, and we had an airport con with a few friends and proceeded to pass out the moment we got home.
Essentially, I had a really relaxing con, can't wait for next year for sure.
---
Update of what has happened during my three weeks of silence:
I'm not one to share much about my personal reasons of why I do things unless you're a close friend, but I'll start like this:
I'm not at home right now. I have not been there for about three and half weeks. I've essentially taken my cats, my work supplies, and some clothes with me to a different location to get away from my dads house. It started out as just a house sitting escapade, but it then turned into a much longer stay the longer I stayed away from my dads house. I did not realize how much safer and clearer minded I have felt while being away from my dads house, that I have started thinking about perhaps moving out a bit sooner than I expected. Just so you're all aware, so you don't think it's why I'm not home: No, I am not being abused by my dad in any way. In fact, I still like my dad, but we do not see eye to eye when it comes to how things are run or even talking about personal issues. I have wasted too much patience, too much kindness, and too much forgiveness on this man that I can no longer feel safe. This meaning I feel exceptionally trapped and unsafe sharing any personal feelings with my own father about anything I am going through in my life. We never speak about anything, and when we do my dad just loves to just bury it under the rug and disproving anything I want to say or share. I constantly feel alone while being at that house, and have shed too many tears than I can count. He doesn't understand, and he doesn't want to understand because he always has to be right. He hates my cats and has been very loud and adamant about his displeasure with them. I can never relax in that house, and I constantly bury myself into seclusion or work because I feel so trapped. I stopped eating regularly, I stay awake later because I'm so afraid of going downstairs (his office is right down the stairs) until he goes to bed. I just can't interact with him any longer. He is foreboding, overly authoritative, and too old school for me to feel safe. It even got to the point I don't even feel my cats are safe to be there while I'm even out for an hour. So, I told my dad I was going to be gone, and left the premises with my cats. I have been jumping between two separate residences where my closest friends are (they have been so amazing with helping me live elsewhere and even provide a place for my cats). I've been soaring as much as I can with the little money I have accrued from my work, paid for my bills when they come, and essentially have been living as independently as possible (with some help along the way).
With that in mind, I have done my best to heal mentally and emotionally while also doing some suit work (as promised). I've done a lot of patterning work as well as started work on a head.
Planning on returning to the house on Saturday, but I definitely have needed to take a step back and look at my situation without being in it. My conclusion from all this, I need to get out of that house. But I may need to leave a lot sooner than I've been planning (which is around late March-May). I REALLY don't want to move out so soon, but if it means that I can feel free from my dad and can actually feel like myself again, I just might HAVE to...
Along with that, for a week before MFF I essentially helped save a life with Pox. Ever since, I have been making sure that this person is still ok and is in good hands with him. I won't share anymore info about that, but if I do disappear for a few days again, just know it's most likely because of that.
I'll be returning to work tomorrow, but I'll be focusing on suits again until I go home (with some drawing thrown in there too...). We'll see how it goes~
Thank you all so much for your patience!
-Ruka
Stardust03
~stardust03
It was awesome to hang out with you. Can't wait till next time! And I know everything will get better for you. Just keep hanging in there. You are an awesome person. :)
Rukamae
~rukamae
OP
Thanks Fen <3
