All that trouble to acquire some nice vintage absinthe and here I am not tripping out. At least I watered down the bleach enough to not die I guess. I don't know. I'm just really tired of living because others command me to. I don't really want to die, but living is physically painful now. I'm tired of it. Of the pain. The disappointment. The hate. The lonliness. I was hoping that I could at least be present in wonderland for a bit if only to hide reality under the rug. But, ya know, I can't do anything right. And I've gone and made people disappointed in me again. No surprise there. But in all seriousness. I can't fight myself forever. I'm too clever for my own good. You can take my knives but I'll still have my pens and other things. Balconies, chords, electrical outlets, airsols and detergents; meds, cars... the list goes on. And they can't lock me up forever. Isolation and imprisonment. Well, they'll learn the definition of spite if they don't know it already.

So here's my question. And I want a good answer I HAVE NOT heard before. I'll ignore those. So tell me. Why should I keep living if nothing ever changes, and everything is terrible? Riddle me that.