Just don't know anymore.... -- Sef_Highwind's Journal -- Fur Affinity [dot] net

Just don't know anymore....

10 years ago

I've been feeling like shit more and more. I'm still working at the theme park, I'm honestly trying to accept that the majority of the folks that I know just don't give a shit about my happyness or life, and I'm trying not to be shallow and be happy with the few genuine friends I have. But I honestly feel broken. There has to be something wrong with me because I don't like over drinking or even drinking for fun. A drink every now and then is ok, but I don't see the fun in getting shit faced. That goes for cons as well.

But I feel like just being me is wrong. I can't connect at all with most folks out here, and I have no idea why I just feel like an outcast. Hell, I feel more comfortable outside my city. I am gonna be moving into my own place in the next 10 months, but I'm sure once I move out, I'll be completely isolated. No one is gonna want to visit, and I'll continue to just be forgotten. I wish I could move out and attempt to fail again in the movie industry, but I will never have the funds.

Sorry for bitching up a storm, this will be gone in a day or two. I just needed to vent.

19 Comments

TykeCooney ~tykecooney

Less Than Nothing

10 years ago

Sorry things are going shit for you too dude.

I don't drink at all. I don't mind if people do it for fun, but I absolutely can't stand violent drunks.

Sef_Highwind ~sefhighwind

Writer

9 years ago

I'm trying my best to hold my head up. There are days that it works, and then there are days that I just feel... out

TykeCooney ~tykecooney

Less Than Nothing

9 years ago

I'm doing the same, so I understand.

Takum ~takum

DJ & Fursuiter

10 years ago

Sorry to see you feeling like that. Though, can completely understand how you feel about things such as not being able to connect to most people. It really does make you not too great about yourself as I'm the same way. Hopefully you'll be feeling better about yourself eventually.

chinook_orca ~chinookorca

Digital Artist

10 years ago

*hugs tight* know that feeling

[deleted]

Sef_Highwind ~sefhighwind

Writer

9 years ago

I would love that. It would be fun to hang out! Plus, if you and Zeta ever want to go to Universal, I would be happy to hook y'all up with tickets

[deleted]

Sef_Highwind ~sefhighwind

Writer

9 years ago

Sounds like a great plan to me!

Cosmik ~cosmik

Musician

10 years ago

What you're feeling is adulthood. It happens to most of us eventually. You start to realise there's more to life than drinking, and it's always hard when you're one of the first to get there and you have to wait for everyone else to catch up. Be assured there ARE other people out there who feel the same (people of all ages) and know that it really does get better. MUCH better. Usually. :)

::::hugs::::::

Sef_Highwind ~sefhighwind

Writer

9 years ago

Thank you. I do have to strongly agree with what you said, but it just feels odd to me that it is just me who feels this way. Outside of that, there are still certain individuals that make me feel cruddy,

Cosmik ~cosmik

Musician

9 years ago

It's not just you. I can think of half a dozen people who have hung out with me and Rhubarb and said "I just don't feel connected to anyone my own age." It's the "adulting" thing. :D

Candorian ~candorian

10 years ago

I just recently tried drinking and I can only go for about a glass or two of wine myself. Thirty two years and finally had alcohol, weird huh? Sorry you feel like shit, I get those from time to time but luckily it doesn't seem to stick. I tend to have to force myself to hang with friends due to some internal problem I have but mentally know I'm going to have fun just being around them. You may need to find some way to pull a 180 though not sure exactly what. I wish you luck and that your move goes well. *hugs*

Cole_Folf ~colefolf

10 years ago

Seffy! It'll be okay things WILL get better people do care even if they seem like they don't!

MatCollie ~matcollie

Border Collie/Traditional Artist

10 years ago

Im always open to talk. Youre always busy and stuff

shades1220 ~shades1220

Shadey

10 years ago

have it out, vent it out, here for words if you ever needs, knows the same feels on drinking and i have lost a lot of in touch with friends for some time, i hate that i have to crave the internet for friendship but im glad i still have it, ill get back to socializing i know it, but anything worth doing is not gonna be easy, so it goes for all that you crave, you can and shall persevere

RaizStarwind ~raizstarwind

Fursuiter

10 years ago

You pretty much summed up my year I spent when I was living on my own at the apartment I had. Isolated in a job I felt meh about while trying to figure out what to do in life feeling like I was broken.

Don't give up tho. Things will get better and you'll figure stoof out. You're just in a valley right now. And as for the drinkkng, or the lack of desire to, that just means you've reached a new level of maturity

Sef_Highwind ~sefhighwind

Writer

9 years ago

I want to get out of this valley. Hell, I wish I could see you again. I felt like we connected incredibly well, and I miss ya a bunch

RaizStarwind ~raizstarwind

Fursuiter

9 years ago

I miss you too. The short time we got to hang out was a blast. Btw I dunno if I told you or not or if you heard but I finally got a job for what I got certified in

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