You probably won't understand my feelings.

Back in 2014, there were... things happening. The revolution in Ukraine. War in there. Crimea takeover. Sanctions.
Back then, there was hope. Hope that things will be solved quickly. Hope that we will prevail. Hope that people will see the truth. Hope that I will one day will be with my beloved wolfy, Ider.
But it didn't work.
It did not work at all.
The war still on. People still suffer. Borders closed. Sanctions still on, and doesn't seem like they will be lifted anytime soon. The economy spirals out of control, seeing how we barged into unnecessary war. Patriotics (it's like fanatics, but instead of religion it's on patriotism) now draw dismembered maps of Turkey - like around year ago they were drawing dismembered maps of Ukraine. National idea seems to be "Russia is great, everyone else is faggots who must die in nuclear fire". Prices go up, salaries don't. Everyone lives with hope and dream that one day they'll wake up and see US and EU in total chaos because of gays and islamic immigrants. Oh and because they all are deranged incest-lovers and have no morals and standards.
Worst of all? Ider has given up on any idea of serious relationship.

Last two years feel like a really bad dream.
I just want to wake up. Wake up and go visit Ider. With Aldrin. So we could watch Firefly together. Or play some games.
But it's not gonna happen.
Because it's THAT kind of a bad dream.
A bad dream from which you never wake up.

And knowing that things ain't going to get any better fills me with... determination? I don't know. I just feel like i needed to bring this up. It's hard to keep a happy facade when you're genuinely sad.