I keep getting this annoying feeling that I should really be doing more with my life by now. I keep hearing about friends who graduated from school at the same time as me already getting jobs and moving on while I'm kinda stuck in neutral living in the extra room at my sister's house just waiting for life to happen. I keep trying to get things going: job hunts, failed relationships, trying to make a little money with my free time as an artist just to share a little bit of creativity with the world. No matter what I try it goes nowhere, I'm just stuck here in my room typing things out for a deaf internet on which I have very little control. I try to get attention with art that's as good as I can possibly make right now and it seems like there's just so little interest. My thanks goes out to all my friends who keep encouraging me to continue trying to get a business going with my art but its starting to get a little painful. I draw because I enjoy it, but when I put pressure on myself for it to be a source of minimal income while I look for a real job robs it of the joy that its supposed to bring me. Would probably feel okay if I could just gauge if there's even any interest to begin with, then the pressure wouldn't matter.

I'm just really tired and maybe a little impatient. I could use a little bit of luck or a divine push. Anything would help...really. I don't want to feel this way by the time its February. I'm tired of feeling depressed and lost and anxious, casting my line in every direction I can see just in hopes that ANYTHING will happen. Hell all of those emotions are so normal now I don't even really feel them anymore, they're burned in.

A long hug would be really nice right now.

~Sly