FA+
Shop
Speaking Truthfuly (Rant Post)
10 years ago
General
[Parz] Production Note: this is a vent post, so might be all ramble
This week, well, month rather has been kinda been a rollarcoster.
I have had good moments where I know im moving house as well as bad moments where I live with a very depressive housemate who very messed up in his belief and such.
This week kinda been..bleh. I mean yes it more to do around that topic, but add to the fact, I feel that maybe I'm just to soft and easy, and now it starting to feel im kinda a doormat.
In the past week I had drama with making new friends, a person messaging me to show there taking work without permssion and just...I try to ignore it you know, and yes I can irgnore it, sometimes It digs in deep inside, so where I need a big hug. I try and hide my feelings well but there starting to crawl up my back and feelign like they won't hold forever.
With Five nights at freddys now coming to a end, that was my main boost of insperation, I find myself scratching around with what I wanna do. I tried houses, I love home designs but yet the amount of time putting into one, kinda puts me off. I love making my friend models to see there happy faces! but I done mostly all the good friends I have. I dunno, I might be hitting like a artist block here, aswel as feelings. I dunno where I'm going with modeling at this point or what my future holds, but hopefuly I'll find something.
Now as of next year, maybe I should take a step. I should do some changes to maybe try fix this issue. Step one is to find out what drives me! what amazing thing do I wanna do?
I know I love making homes, and cool amazing things that not many people seen before. I know I wanna change the way people see things, So I'm gonna do some hard study into what I wanna do and what drives me.
When FNAF was fresh, oh did it burn inside of me like a raging flame of art! I LOVED IT! it was just, something I can't explain but it was fun! I need to find something that burn inside me again, that what get me going! but what? I'm thinking of making a fnaf game in the future when all is done out the way, I can't wait for that.
Another thing I'm gonna do next year is no more easy dragon. For last 2 years I been owned quiet abit of money, and I let it slide...ALOT! such as a example for a commission known as "The Marmlizer" that is a full scale build of the ride the smiler, I been nice and kinda waiting a year just to see it used. it never did, nor did I get paied at this time, granded the person is nice and will pay me. But this this is not the first time I been kinda lead this way, A sim payment for second life costing £200, is slowing being payied back after 2 years.
Now why am I telling this? Well for 1 I feel should vent instead letting it boil inside of me, and 2, this related to the other day drama, where a person added me, spammed me, then say they wanted work. They only had $5... this kinda made me loose my nut! I mean it feels like i been here before, and maybe I have? I dunno anymore really, but gahhh...
Okies that alot of rambling, here a short of what I feel. I feel to easy, steped on, and next year NO ONE is gonna get away with it again, I'm nice and friendly but DAM do people fucking step on you, I mean myself...I do want stuff but I never really say it, cause im nice and shit, but when I figer out i been kinda pushed to a side, NO! it mades me fucking mad, as if I havn't got issues in real life as it is!
So to make it clear:
Payments are gonna be claimed!
No more free work if you just wanting that shit!
NO 12 year olds! if you messaging me with shitty asking for free stuff then you will get ignored!
I'M NOT A DOORMAT! if your acting like a fake friend just for work, well you can go fucking shove it!
I'm gonna do something big! I dunno what, but I will find it!
I needed to let that out my stream, I might have more deep down, but THIS is what hurting me, I spend hours working, and I do need to live! if you make a promice to owe me back, fucking keep it! as Im done!
Rant finshed, That felt fucking gooood!
This week, well, month rather has been kinda been a rollarcoster.
I have had good moments where I know im moving house as well as bad moments where I live with a very depressive housemate who very messed up in his belief and such.
This week kinda been..bleh. I mean yes it more to do around that topic, but add to the fact, I feel that maybe I'm just to soft and easy, and now it starting to feel im kinda a doormat.
In the past week I had drama with making new friends, a person messaging me to show there taking work without permssion and just...I try to ignore it you know, and yes I can irgnore it, sometimes It digs in deep inside, so where I need a big hug. I try and hide my feelings well but there starting to crawl up my back and feelign like they won't hold forever.
With Five nights at freddys now coming to a end, that was my main boost of insperation, I find myself scratching around with what I wanna do. I tried houses, I love home designs but yet the amount of time putting into one, kinda puts me off. I love making my friend models to see there happy faces! but I done mostly all the good friends I have. I dunno, I might be hitting like a artist block here, aswel as feelings. I dunno where I'm going with modeling at this point or what my future holds, but hopefuly I'll find something.
Now as of next year, maybe I should take a step. I should do some changes to maybe try fix this issue. Step one is to find out what drives me! what amazing thing do I wanna do?
I know I love making homes, and cool amazing things that not many people seen before. I know I wanna change the way people see things, So I'm gonna do some hard study into what I wanna do and what drives me.
When FNAF was fresh, oh did it burn inside of me like a raging flame of art! I LOVED IT! it was just, something I can't explain but it was fun! I need to find something that burn inside me again, that what get me going! but what? I'm thinking of making a fnaf game in the future when all is done out the way, I can't wait for that.
Another thing I'm gonna do next year is no more easy dragon. For last 2 years I been owned quiet abit of money, and I let it slide...ALOT! such as a example for a commission known as "The Marmlizer" that is a full scale build of the ride the smiler, I been nice and kinda waiting a year just to see it used. it never did, nor did I get paied at this time, granded the person is nice and will pay me. But this this is not the first time I been kinda lead this way, A sim payment for second life costing £200, is slowing being payied back after 2 years.
Now why am I telling this? Well for 1 I feel should vent instead letting it boil inside of me, and 2, this related to the other day drama, where a person added me, spammed me, then say they wanted work. They only had $5... this kinda made me loose my nut! I mean it feels like i been here before, and maybe I have? I dunno anymore really, but gahhh...
Okies that alot of rambling, here a short of what I feel. I feel to easy, steped on, and next year NO ONE is gonna get away with it again, I'm nice and friendly but DAM do people fucking step on you, I mean myself...I do want stuff but I never really say it, cause im nice and shit, but when I figer out i been kinda pushed to a side, NO! it mades me fucking mad, as if I havn't got issues in real life as it is!
So to make it clear:
Payments are gonna be claimed!
No more free work if you just wanting that shit!
NO 12 year olds! if you messaging me with shitty asking for free stuff then you will get ignored!
I'M NOT A DOORMAT! if your acting like a fake friend just for work, well you can go fucking shove it!
I'm gonna do something big! I dunno what, but I will find it!
I needed to let that out my stream, I might have more deep down, but THIS is what hurting me, I spend hours working, and I do need to live! if you make a promice to owe me back, fucking keep it! as Im done!
Rant finshed, That felt fucking gooood!
