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Christmas and things
10 years ago
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So I woke up this morning feeling a little down. I don't know why the thoughts came to me, but I was thinking about how little friends I have. Toby is really my only friend, and while most if the time that's all I need, there are times I really get down.
I thought I had this one friend I was really close with, but when they didn't wish me a happy birthday despite being online all day (kinda bummed me out) and they don't even reply to my messages half the time, well, we aren't as close as I once thought we were.
Aside from that, I have the few people I talk to online, but none I'd really day were close friends. I don't have anyone I talk to on a daily basis, and have inside jokes with. I don't really have anyone that starts a conversation with me that's not a formal greeting, but like "look what I just found that you'd love!!"
Someone that I just have a bond with.
I had some really close friends like that many years ago, but I'm not exactly.... The nicest person I guess. I don't know, they all seemed to leave me around the same time and I got really depressed because of it, and I haven't really gotten better, or even opened up since then.
It's even harder now for me to make friends, because I'm afraid I'll get left again.
I was really bummed out this morning until I got on the train and checked my messages and found this gem
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18595484/
I was shocked, to say the least. StupidShepherd and I have talked a little, did a trade once,, and bought each others commissions a couple times, and we're both so awkward I didn't really think much of it BUT to see this?? That they thought about me enough to include me in this picture I just oh man. I was/am so excited! I just couldn't believe it. I have a friend???!!!!
Then the memories just started flooding in.
NeAA I don't even remember when we started talking but we slam each other like we've known each other for years. You are so cool and I'm glad to consider you a friend.
DarkNZ you buy my art, yes, but you are the most patient and kind guy I know, and I love drawing for you more than anything.
I'm sure there are more people who have been incredibly kind to me than this, but I'm on my phone at work and I don't have much time to type this BUT man!!!
I have so many of you that watch my art and think I'm a pretty cool cat, who cares if I don't have my old friends anymore? I have so many friends I don't even know how to thank you all.
I hope all of you have a really great Christmas and holiday, or whatever else you might be celebrating in the next couple weeks, and a really great new year!! I'm going to come out of my shell in the new year and start pestering people daily for someone to talk to, so those mentioned above BEWARE LOL you'd going to get pretty sick of me quickly.
Thanks you for being there for me.
god i feel like a robot saying it that way. pfftb. You're a great person, and if i wasn't always busy rn i'd definitely be chatting u up more. i haven't drawn really in months [it drives me crazy]
I can't wait. I'm off today and tomorrrow o v o chat me up all you want. im gonna be doing a lot of stuff, but tooday i think imma just cook the ham, and slice it up and stuff. maybe i'll start the side dishes idk
we finally have a treeee! i need to take pictures
I'm sorry you've been feeling down like that, I can totes relate to the feels, my situation with talking to friends is super similar.
I know we don't really talk too much and are both super awkward and terrified when it comes to social interractions, but you've been a super awesome person and nothing but nice when we did happen to talk which really means a whole bunch to me and I totes consider you a rad friend! :D
BUT I AM STILL HERE IF YOU NEED ME JUST SHOOT ME A MESSAGE fdjksl;