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Putting My Foot Down
10 years ago
General
Okay peeps, this is a subject that I’ve been tiptoeing around these last few months. Mostly because I really do love all of you to bits and I really didn’t want to come across as one of “those” artists that aggressively speak their mind to the point of being an asshole. But since one of my watchers have blatantly asked me to give them my personal information, I feel that the time has come for me to put my foot down about a certain topic.
This is not geared towards anyone in particular, and 99.9999% percent of my watchers I have zero qualms about. However, there is always those few people that take things a little too far. So please do not worry that this is about you… because if it was, chances are that you will know without a doubt.
I’m talking about a small handful of watchers and fans being clingy to the point of being creepy. It may be hard to tell by how friendly I am to others online and the fact that I am seemingly outgoing in my streams, but in my personal life, I am actually extremely introverted and get extremely uncomfortable when strangers act clingy towards me.
Most people I’m okay with, because they seem to understand the concepts of personal space. However, if you do any of the following, then it starts to be a problem.
· Send me constant messages and notes about any topic. While I am happy to talk with people about anything, constantly noting me asking to be my friend, leaving 15+ messages on one submission and badgering me with random crap several times a day becomes a problem.
· I am (chronologically speaking) a grown woman that has to worry about grown-up things. I do not have time to chat with you for long periods of time. I do not have any messaging services or skype and I do not plan on using them. Please do not constantly ask me to use them and chat with you or get your undies in a bunch when I tell you no.
· I am a private person who does not throw the world “friend” around loosely. I prefer to have a small handful of people that I call “friend” that are incredibly close to me than be “friends” with a ton of people that I don’t know too well. Because of this, I get uncomfortable right off the bat when a stranger asks me to be my friend. And then get bitchy when I tell them no. If you do this, then you have complexly blown the chance of being my friend.
· I am a nice person. Just because I am friendly to you does not mean that we are best buddies. Do not confuse the two.
· On the same note, just because you purchased art from me does not mean that we are best buddies. It was a business transaction. No different than you buying food from a cashier at a grocery store.
· My fictional universe is very personal to me with each aspect of it being a representation of someone or something in my life… and is my way of helping me make sense of this big blue marble called earth that we all live on. I will not merge it with your universe, open a portal between our headwords, etc. I have even dealt with a few people in the last few months who seemed to have an unhealthy obsession with my fictional universe where they seemed to eat, sleep and breathe my universe and were more obsessed with it than I am. Since my fictional universe is so personal to me, I find it a direct breach of personal space when that happens.
· This is probably the most important thing and it should be blatantly obvious, but since I have to post it, I guess not. Under NO circumstances will I give out my personal information including but not limited to: Phone numbers, my real mailing address and family information. Asking me these things will immediately make me think of you as a creepy stalker. Seriously.
I don’t want to come across as an asshole, but I feel that I need to put my foot down about these things and I don’t think it’s unreasonable for me to say that I am going to be a lot more stern with people who do these things. And if an individual keeps doing them after I have told them to cut it out, I will block them.
This is not geared towards anyone in particular, and 99.9999% percent of my watchers I have zero qualms about. However, there is always those few people that take things a little too far. So please do not worry that this is about you… because if it was, chances are that you will know without a doubt.
I’m talking about a small handful of watchers and fans being clingy to the point of being creepy. It may be hard to tell by how friendly I am to others online and the fact that I am seemingly outgoing in my streams, but in my personal life, I am actually extremely introverted and get extremely uncomfortable when strangers act clingy towards me.
Most people I’m okay with, because they seem to understand the concepts of personal space. However, if you do any of the following, then it starts to be a problem.
· Send me constant messages and notes about any topic. While I am happy to talk with people about anything, constantly noting me asking to be my friend, leaving 15+ messages on one submission and badgering me with random crap several times a day becomes a problem.
· I am (chronologically speaking) a grown woman that has to worry about grown-up things. I do not have time to chat with you for long periods of time. I do not have any messaging services or skype and I do not plan on using them. Please do not constantly ask me to use them and chat with you or get your undies in a bunch when I tell you no.
· I am a private person who does not throw the world “friend” around loosely. I prefer to have a small handful of people that I call “friend” that are incredibly close to me than be “friends” with a ton of people that I don’t know too well. Because of this, I get uncomfortable right off the bat when a stranger asks me to be my friend. And then get bitchy when I tell them no. If you do this, then you have complexly blown the chance of being my friend.
· I am a nice person. Just because I am friendly to you does not mean that we are best buddies. Do not confuse the two.
· On the same note, just because you purchased art from me does not mean that we are best buddies. It was a business transaction. No different than you buying food from a cashier at a grocery store.
· My fictional universe is very personal to me with each aspect of it being a representation of someone or something in my life… and is my way of helping me make sense of this big blue marble called earth that we all live on. I will not merge it with your universe, open a portal between our headwords, etc. I have even dealt with a few people in the last few months who seemed to have an unhealthy obsession with my fictional universe where they seemed to eat, sleep and breathe my universe and were more obsessed with it than I am. Since my fictional universe is so personal to me, I find it a direct breach of personal space when that happens.
· This is probably the most important thing and it should be blatantly obvious, but since I have to post it, I guess not. Under NO circumstances will I give out my personal information including but not limited to: Phone numbers, my real mailing address and family information. Asking me these things will immediately make me think of you as a creepy stalker. Seriously.
I don’t want to come across as an asshole, but I feel that I need to put my foot down about these things and I don’t think it’s unreasonable for me to say that I am going to be a lot more stern with people who do these things. And if an individual keeps doing them after I have told them to cut it out, I will block them.
You are well within your rights to cut off people who are making you uncomfortable or demanding access to your personal info and/or space. That's downright invasive and creepy.
1: Premeditated and direct attempts to become 'friends' with you, in your head, for free art.
2: Narcissism. They don't get that you're made uncomfortable by their gestures and are coming across both annoying and overbearing.
I usually respond like this to posts such as yours, but it's because I've seen a lot of people get bothered by the people they either produce art for or are fans of the artist's work. The motivation is often just fixation, or greed and manipulation.
Thank you for posting about it instead of hiding in your shell.
(runs and hides REAL FAST)
Also... When someone online messaged me straight up asking for my personal phone number is when I finally decided to put my foot down about personal space.
> I don’t want to come across as an asshole
I wouldn't worry about it. Maybe you're their first experience with the world of grown-ups where boundaries actually exist. (o:
Many of my clients have become my friends, and I feel very fortunate about that.
But yeah, I would get uncomfortable with Skype requests and such too. I don't have the time or energy to keep up a conversation with people I barely know.
Conventions wear me out, with the constant noise, chatters, and the pressure to be 'on' all the time.
I have a lot of experience from being in retail for so many years, but it is still wearing.
On another note, I LOVE the Christmas card I got from you! (shiiiiiiny LOL) I was wanting to send one in return but 1) I admittedly forgot XD and 2) I didn't wanna seem creepy XD
Otherwise you'd have to buy it in rolls online.
Wow, the post office was really slacking.
And on a lighter note I wanted to let you know we received your card. My daughter loves both the card and the wax seal. She thinks the seal is so cool!
Although I can't believe how long they took to get out to people this year.