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ickyness
16 years ago
I've come to realize that the way I perceive myself is not how others perceive me. I've been trying to reconstruct myself for the past two years, and nearly thought I "had it". In the past I considered myself insecure, irritable, difficult to get along with, nieve, inconsiderate, and anti-social. So when all the crazy gambling stuff happened and lead to me moving back to Wisconsin I decided to have some reconstructive personality surgeory. I've been trying to be more positive, thoughtful, consitent, encouraging, and less sarcastic. I know I've hardly become the epitomy of these aspects but I do believe I'm much closer than before.
I need to do some serious soul searching, in the past month I've been called really nasty things by friends past friends and aquaintances and they all seem to be on the same page.
Each time this happened I was taken back to hear them said about me. Just last night I was called arrogant rude inconsiderate and bossy by someone I hold dear as a friend. Up till that point I had no idea I treated that person in any of those manors. I still think it was exagerated but there has to be some reason that he would come up with this logic, some truth to the point. Last week another friend told me Im critical, gossipy, and cutthroat. a month before that I was called childish, immature, condescending, and inconsistent.
what the fuck am I really this bad of a person? I am human and am trying to become a better person but I hardly think Im this extreme of a failure. I dont know what to do. I dont know what to say. I feel like I've clearly been extending myself in the wrong manor to people. Im so glad Im moving, not because Im upset with anyone but because I feel like a complete failure in Wisconsin. Even my family thinks I extracted myself from the family tree. I was told I'm uppity and act like Im to good to be part of the family. I dont feel this way... I feel lik emy family doesnt like me because of who I am. That I have a giant perpetual pussing zit on my forehead and need to be avoided.
Someone please tell me Im not a horrible person...
I need to do some serious soul searching, in the past month I've been called really nasty things by friends past friends and aquaintances and they all seem to be on the same page.
Each time this happened I was taken back to hear them said about me. Just last night I was called arrogant rude inconsiderate and bossy by someone I hold dear as a friend. Up till that point I had no idea I treated that person in any of those manors. I still think it was exagerated but there has to be some reason that he would come up with this logic, some truth to the point. Last week another friend told me Im critical, gossipy, and cutthroat. a month before that I was called childish, immature, condescending, and inconsistent.
what the fuck am I really this bad of a person? I am human and am trying to become a better person but I hardly think Im this extreme of a failure. I dont know what to do. I dont know what to say. I feel like I've clearly been extending myself in the wrong manor to people. Im so glad Im moving, not because Im upset with anyone but because I feel like a complete failure in Wisconsin. Even my family thinks I extracted myself from the family tree. I was told I'm uppity and act like Im to good to be part of the family. I dont feel this way... I feel lik emy family doesnt like me because of who I am. That I have a giant perpetual pussing zit on my forehead and need to be avoided.
Someone please tell me Im not a horrible person...
gtg to work, chat later!
You were a very friendly fellow. You seemed easy to get along with, rather talkative, open. I hope it wasn't the alcohol, haha, because you seemed like a very nice guy. I'm sure -everyone- has their moments, people have their differences, and people don't always -click- with other people. We are who we are. We have are negative aspects and positive aspects. Just take it for what it is and you'll realize that people will like you for who you are.
It's cool bra. ;p
I get apologies, Its just annoying that its all happening now and right before I move away. Sad to think I may lose friends because of the status of our friendship before moving.
Yeah I enjoyed your conversation as well, the first night in the room I believe you and madius were the only two that even realized i was there lol. or that you or he were there as well. And I got a kick out of you ordering sushi and then pawning it all off on other people... lol but you did score free food so it all works. You should come to a rainfurs con sometime. ill be living 5 minutes from the convention center so ill be putting people up in my house and having some entertaining parties. I am on staff next year at FCN ( granted the board approves, they have no reason not too but its all technicalities) so if not at rainfurs hopefully ill see you there