How long is it since I last really made a sound here? A long time, apparently. It's a bit of a shame that my first joyrnal of the year is, sort of a rant. Then again, that's the only thing I can do when things don't go as well as tbey should.

Where do I even begin. I've been unemployed for over half a year npw, starting in July. This alone has left me in a state where my motivation is low, along with my morale. I go every day wprrying about if I even will get anothe one. I have se.t at least 15 applications just the last few months, where at least half of them have been turned down, and tbe other half, dead silent. Only one lead to an interview, and that interview promised a second one within two weeks. It's now been two months, and they're still "working on it", leaving me to worry even more.

Not to forget, something happened last year that left me feeling used, but I will not be calling names or pointing fingers, as that's not how I do things.

This has left me in a state where I lack any forms of motivation to do things, which ranges from keeping contact with important people in my life, to the very basics like taking care of myself. At the time of writing this have I not had a real meal for 2 days. Not to forget a ruined sleeping schedule. It's at the moment 6:30 am for me.

I want to apologize to those who have been affected. I sadly can't see my motivation returning anytime soon, or this mess coming under control. I just feel so useless right now... I don't care if anyone wants to cut their ties to me, as I'm just deadweight anyways.

Anyways back to trying to sleep. If I'm lucky, I will be up before 5pm.