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25 bits of advice...
16 years ago
General
In this 'survey' list 25 pieces of advice you would give someone based on your life experiences.
1.in the middle of a massive hurricane; wind blowing, raining sideways; once you have waded though neck deep water, and think it's safe to strip off your sopping wet clothes to put on something dryer - there WILL be a crazy redneck that will drive up in the middle of that and ask what you're doing out in the storm
2. tetris will prepare you for life....if you move a lot.
3. really listen to the words...they are trying to tell you something...even if it doesn't make sense.
4. your friends have first dibs on giving you shit and poking fun at you...it's better coming from love than from somewhere else.
5. the right statement, action, song, or pair of shoes can make me feel better!
6. hasbro uses too much glue when hairing ponies and attaching heads. this is unnecessary, and sometimes requires drastic measures, chemicals, and lots of swearing to remedy.
7. laughing at yourself is good. it makes you less self conscious.
8. you can't help who you love, you just have to hope that maybe, they love you back.
9. distance does not buffer, it just makes you miss more
10. if you start to run low on underwear after not doing laundry for 3 weeks, Victoria Secrets always has 5 pair for $25. Of course, you still need to do laundry, but next time you won't start to run low for 4 weeks!
11. write it down!
12. please remember that your big girl panties do NOT go on your head. I know it seems like fun, but it makes the rest of us want to punch you in the throat.
besides...wearing them on your head is how you end up with sand in your vagina.
13. When in the presence of those who seems to hate things which you love; it's much simpler to keep silent and vent later to your friends who TOTALLY GET IT! than to try and reason with asshattery.
14. angry drunks make me a sad panda.
15. poke the bear the first time, fine. poke the bear a second time, grrr...fine. poke the bear a third time, you might loose a finger.
16. trust is something that must be earned. the second time around takes soooo much longer.
17. when painting something detailed the size of a quarter, spit works better than water.
18. don't get too attached. you will anyway.
19. it takes years of practice to know yourself so well that you can get up and calmly walk to the bathroom when you need to throw up. it takes about 8 large vodka cranberries and a quick rolling motion to throw all that training right out the window.
20. clutter does NOT equal mess. it can still be very neat and organized, so bite me. <3
21. remember to charge your phone.
22. persistence, stubbornness, and pigheadedness can pay off...but often don't...doesn't mean don't do it.
23. be happy with yourself. change is gradual.
24. even an animal who someone has given up on, can be brought back from near death by an amazing vet and live for several more years as a 'miracle child' - him and his golf ball size tumor making appearances at events, spreading awareness. RESEARCH the animal and its care BEFORE you get it, have an emergency vet fund - and if your ferret starts to loose all its hair TAKE IT TO THE BLOODY VET, YOU JACKASS!
25. even if you get nothing in return, it's usually worth it...even tho it usually doesn't feel that way at the time.
1.in the middle of a massive hurricane; wind blowing, raining sideways; once you have waded though neck deep water, and think it's safe to strip off your sopping wet clothes to put on something dryer - there WILL be a crazy redneck that will drive up in the middle of that and ask what you're doing out in the storm
2. tetris will prepare you for life....if you move a lot.
3. really listen to the words...they are trying to tell you something...even if it doesn't make sense.
4. your friends have first dibs on giving you shit and poking fun at you...it's better coming from love than from somewhere else.
5. the right statement, action, song, or pair of shoes can make me feel better!
6. hasbro uses too much glue when hairing ponies and attaching heads. this is unnecessary, and sometimes requires drastic measures, chemicals, and lots of swearing to remedy.
7. laughing at yourself is good. it makes you less self conscious.
8. you can't help who you love, you just have to hope that maybe, they love you back.
9. distance does not buffer, it just makes you miss more
10. if you start to run low on underwear after not doing laundry for 3 weeks, Victoria Secrets always has 5 pair for $25. Of course, you still need to do laundry, but next time you won't start to run low for 4 weeks!
11. write it down!
12. please remember that your big girl panties do NOT go on your head. I know it seems like fun, but it makes the rest of us want to punch you in the throat.
besides...wearing them on your head is how you end up with sand in your vagina.
13. When in the presence of those who seems to hate things which you love; it's much simpler to keep silent and vent later to your friends who TOTALLY GET IT! than to try and reason with asshattery.
14. angry drunks make me a sad panda.
15. poke the bear the first time, fine. poke the bear a second time, grrr...fine. poke the bear a third time, you might loose a finger.
16. trust is something that must be earned. the second time around takes soooo much longer.
17. when painting something detailed the size of a quarter, spit works better than water.
18. don't get too attached. you will anyway.
19. it takes years of practice to know yourself so well that you can get up and calmly walk to the bathroom when you need to throw up. it takes about 8 large vodka cranberries and a quick rolling motion to throw all that training right out the window.
20. clutter does NOT equal mess. it can still be very neat and organized, so bite me. <3
21. remember to charge your phone.
22. persistence, stubbornness, and pigheadedness can pay off...but often don't...doesn't mean don't do it.
23. be happy with yourself. change is gradual.
24. even an animal who someone has given up on, can be brought back from near death by an amazing vet and live for several more years as a 'miracle child' - him and his golf ball size tumor making appearances at events, spreading awareness. RESEARCH the animal and its care BEFORE you get it, have an emergency vet fund - and if your ferret starts to loose all its hair TAKE IT TO THE BLOODY VET, YOU JACKASS!
25. even if you get nothing in return, it's usually worth it...even tho it usually doesn't feel that way at the time.
