I've been so depressed lately, I don't really eat or sleep much anymore.

Sorta lost my job by asking for a transfer, if I had stayed my mental health would have reached this point way sooner.

Managed to fall ill right after with a nasty cold that forced my mate and I to sleep in separate rooms.

He was able to secure employment mid cold so now I'm spending most of my time alone.

Friends don't want to spend time with me.

Mate needs the car for work so I don't have the ability to go out and make new friends.

I'm no longer attracted to my mate and I don't want him to be attracted to me anymore, but I don't want him to leave. He's the only reason we have been able to keep up with bills and eat food. He moves out, I can't survive but he would do just fine.

My friend just posted some of the photos from her wedding and everyone looks great in at least one shot. Except me, the not-so-figurative elephant in the room. I only weigh 225, but in every picture I look to be pushing 3 to 4 hundred pounds. I have exess weight but its fairly well distributed so normally I look lighter than I am. Maybe the photographer just got the wrong angles for me, but its a huge slap in the face. I'm trying to lose the weight, but no motivation and those photos only made it worse...

I know thou don't really know me. I'm sorry for this really sad post, I just needed to write it down.