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different kind of sickness
10 years ago
Most would call what I'm having as homesickness, but I can't call it that. The South is where i grew up, so homesickness usually pertains to missing things you love and the ones you love. I'm not missing the South. I'm IN the South. My mom, sister, and oldest brother are here. If i got in a car, I could be in sc (where i grew up) in three hours or at my brother's house in Charlotte.
Nikki and I really miss California. He's the home sick one. I just miss the life i had. For someone like me, the west coast is full of opportunity. Unlimited work options, places to go, diversity, and many other things. I was very happy. We've talked about moving back, but we know its not feasible. right now. It would require that I give my son to his abuela and give up my job; two things i'm not willing to give up. Yes, I'd like to finally finish my education, get involved in the Deaf community again, and just enjoy my life like I use to. But...I have bubs to think of. He's only one, and he needs us.
So I'd rather suffer missing California and have bubs taken care of than actually risk everything to go back too soon. We plan to go back eventually, but I need to figure out a way to finish school first. Once I finish school, I can go back and get back into practice of a western ASL accent and work while finishing at CSUN (cause i still want to do the Deaf community services, while minoring in the domestic violence major they mentioned at the center in Van Nuys).
If things work out, I'll be able to move this year. I'm waiting to see what happens with taxes and what gets paid off. I'm tempted to move west, but that would require me to live in TN longer to gather the money i need. Love yah TN but you dropped my major from nashville and UT has a shit program for it. So I've go to apply for an NC state ID so i can say I'm an nc resident (though technically i'm not but it'll give me in state tutition).
Nikki and I really miss California. He's the home sick one. I just miss the life i had. For someone like me, the west coast is full of opportunity. Unlimited work options, places to go, diversity, and many other things. I was very happy. We've talked about moving back, but we know its not feasible. right now. It would require that I give my son to his abuela and give up my job; two things i'm not willing to give up. Yes, I'd like to finally finish my education, get involved in the Deaf community again, and just enjoy my life like I use to. But...I have bubs to think of. He's only one, and he needs us.
So I'd rather suffer missing California and have bubs taken care of than actually risk everything to go back too soon. We plan to go back eventually, but I need to figure out a way to finish school first. Once I finish school, I can go back and get back into practice of a western ASL accent and work while finishing at CSUN (cause i still want to do the Deaf community services, while minoring in the domestic violence major they mentioned at the center in Van Nuys).
If things work out, I'll be able to move this year. I'm waiting to see what happens with taxes and what gets paid off. I'm tempted to move west, but that would require me to live in TN longer to gather the money i need. Love yah TN but you dropped my major from nashville and UT has a shit program for it. So I've go to apply for an NC state ID so i can say I'm an nc resident (though technically i'm not but it'll give me in state tutition).
