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"Decent Dating Material" Rant.
10 years ago
My Furry Family
Warning: Contains offensive language and mature topics. Do not read if you are easily offended or have a low IQ.
I do not understand today's society. It is so hard, in fact quite rare, to find a man that is genuine, responsible, kind, honest, caring, takes care of himself, and has a sense of humor. Sensibility and humility have fallen by the wayside, and those that still hold onto them are seen as prudes. Manners have been tossed aside, and I've been described as "upitty" for having them. Formality, regality, and grace have been beaten to death by those too lazy to try. Technology is not not a luxury, but a necessity that has the uncivilized and idiots of the public wrapped around their fingers, engulfing lives more than tobacco. Sex is no longer a private and intimate display of affection, but a public topic to be discussed in open forums, and those who hold their sex life to be private, or do not have sex more openly, are LOOKED DOWN UPON! I DONT GET IT! WHY?!
I need someone to explain to me WHY all the good qualities in men that people look for in dating material has been reduced to shallow complexes, rude attitudes, irresponsibility, disrespectful demeanors, dismissive diction, reclusive tendencies, and unintelligent mindsets. That is NOT an opinion, it's fact. Outside of the rare statistical outlier, my generation has no upbringing of required social manners, civility, and common decency.
I was raised well. My parents taught my brother and me very well. We were raised around decent, well-meaning, good people. I just assumed that society followed. I was so wrong, its not even funny. Countless dates and greetings that were all a complete waste of my time.
No one dresses to impress anymore. Just a fact. Formal wear and looking decent as been nudged aside while ratty jeans and sweatpants took over. Dresses your size has been killed by dressing to be the size you want to be, making ill-fitting clothing even MORE unflattering than ever, and those people getting offended when they are looked down upon for having skin spilling over.
Dating and courtship has been replaced with "hanging out" and text-based conversations. Fine dining and wine replaced with nightclubs, drinking, and hooking up. Roses replaced with a heart emoji. Letting a relationship grow and bloom into something wonderful replaced by "falling" in love, and a obsessive need to be in a relationship, being their self-esteem and self-worth on their relationship status. The desire to please replaced by the need to pleasure. Intimacy replaced by meaningless sex. A common community swept up in the honeymoon phase and then bored with the normality. Those looking to "complete" themselves, when they should already be complete as a person on their own! Men more wanting to be "players" and tools, rather than upstanding gentlemen.
Those like me, who are frustrated with the sheer stupidity and slobs, are now looking to the generations BEFORE us for these qualities, also finding it rare to find quality there as well, but then looked down upon for the age gap. Sadly, we do not want the age gap either, but we are drawn to the qualities of those men older than us, therefore making the love taboo. More often than not, those older men turn out to be perverted, creepers and desperate themselves, which defeats the purpose in the first place, putting us back in a frustration of trying to be a good person in a society of deviancy with a lack of subtlety.
I want a man that knows how to love. Who is kind and considerate, with manners and someone that I can show off, and take out in public without worry about his actions and wardrobe, and how he is perceived by others. A man that dresses well, if not formally, and tries his best to look his best, even in jeans and a tee. A man that works and understands the need, not wanting to mooch off of others and the government. Someone who wants to have fun, and is not glued to a screen 24/7. Someone with a good family. Someone with no major mental disorders or physical impairments. Someone who loves my outside just as much as the inside. Of course, someone with common interests with, but someone I am not embarrassed of. A man with a tough exterior, and can keep up with me when I go camping. Someone who is sensitive, but not so much as to be impaired by it. A man that loves formality as much as I do, and prefers to be regal rather than a "player". Someone who shares my values. Is that so hard to ask? Is it so bad to want someone who is humble? Honest? Polite? Handsome?
This rant would be a lot longer if I wanted to include ALL the thoughts about this particular topic, but I'll wrap it up now to save myself from exploding.
I would rather be alone for the rest of my life than with someone that doesn't deserve me. I have incredibly high standards and exectations for today's society. And you know what? I'm okay with that. A real man will live up to every expectation and standard naturally. You wont get the queen's attention by acting like a fool.
If you do not agree with me about any of this, fine! You dont have to! This is my personal opinion! Think I'm too vintage? Shallow? Picky? Obsessed? Well guess what? I DON'T CARE. YES, I have struggled with depression, anxiety, self-loathing, self-harm, and a shit-storm of questioning myself.
BUT I AM BETTER THAN DATING BELOW MY LEVEL. I have confidence, I have drive and motivation to be better, and I have dreams. Keep up, or stay out of my way. I want love, and I am in a place in my life where I am ready ot be ina relationship and have that. I simply wish that society would shapen up and raise the bar a little. It can't hurt.
I do not understand today's society. It is so hard, in fact quite rare, to find a man that is genuine, responsible, kind, honest, caring, takes care of himself, and has a sense of humor. Sensibility and humility have fallen by the wayside, and those that still hold onto them are seen as prudes. Manners have been tossed aside, and I've been described as "upitty" for having them. Formality, regality, and grace have been beaten to death by those too lazy to try. Technology is not not a luxury, but a necessity that has the uncivilized and idiots of the public wrapped around their fingers, engulfing lives more than tobacco. Sex is no longer a private and intimate display of affection, but a public topic to be discussed in open forums, and those who hold their sex life to be private, or do not have sex more openly, are LOOKED DOWN UPON! I DONT GET IT! WHY?!
I need someone to explain to me WHY all the good qualities in men that people look for in dating material has been reduced to shallow complexes, rude attitudes, irresponsibility, disrespectful demeanors, dismissive diction, reclusive tendencies, and unintelligent mindsets. That is NOT an opinion, it's fact. Outside of the rare statistical outlier, my generation has no upbringing of required social manners, civility, and common decency.
I was raised well. My parents taught my brother and me very well. We were raised around decent, well-meaning, good people. I just assumed that society followed. I was so wrong, its not even funny. Countless dates and greetings that were all a complete waste of my time.
No one dresses to impress anymore. Just a fact. Formal wear and looking decent as been nudged aside while ratty jeans and sweatpants took over. Dresses your size has been killed by dressing to be the size you want to be, making ill-fitting clothing even MORE unflattering than ever, and those people getting offended when they are looked down upon for having skin spilling over.
Dating and courtship has been replaced with "hanging out" and text-based conversations. Fine dining and wine replaced with nightclubs, drinking, and hooking up. Roses replaced with a heart emoji. Letting a relationship grow and bloom into something wonderful replaced by "falling" in love, and a obsessive need to be in a relationship, being their self-esteem and self-worth on their relationship status. The desire to please replaced by the need to pleasure. Intimacy replaced by meaningless sex. A common community swept up in the honeymoon phase and then bored with the normality. Those looking to "complete" themselves, when they should already be complete as a person on their own! Men more wanting to be "players" and tools, rather than upstanding gentlemen.
Those like me, who are frustrated with the sheer stupidity and slobs, are now looking to the generations BEFORE us for these qualities, also finding it rare to find quality there as well, but then looked down upon for the age gap. Sadly, we do not want the age gap either, but we are drawn to the qualities of those men older than us, therefore making the love taboo. More often than not, those older men turn out to be perverted, creepers and desperate themselves, which defeats the purpose in the first place, putting us back in a frustration of trying to be a good person in a society of deviancy with a lack of subtlety.
I want a man that knows how to love. Who is kind and considerate, with manners and someone that I can show off, and take out in public without worry about his actions and wardrobe, and how he is perceived by others. A man that dresses well, if not formally, and tries his best to look his best, even in jeans and a tee. A man that works and understands the need, not wanting to mooch off of others and the government. Someone who wants to have fun, and is not glued to a screen 24/7. Someone with a good family. Someone with no major mental disorders or physical impairments. Someone who loves my outside just as much as the inside. Of course, someone with common interests with, but someone I am not embarrassed of. A man with a tough exterior, and can keep up with me when I go camping. Someone who is sensitive, but not so much as to be impaired by it. A man that loves formality as much as I do, and prefers to be regal rather than a "player". Someone who shares my values. Is that so hard to ask? Is it so bad to want someone who is humble? Honest? Polite? Handsome?
This rant would be a lot longer if I wanted to include ALL the thoughts about this particular topic, but I'll wrap it up now to save myself from exploding.
I would rather be alone for the rest of my life than with someone that doesn't deserve me. I have incredibly high standards and exectations for today's society. And you know what? I'm okay with that. A real man will live up to every expectation and standard naturally. You wont get the queen's attention by acting like a fool.
If you do not agree with me about any of this, fine! You dont have to! This is my personal opinion! Think I'm too vintage? Shallow? Picky? Obsessed? Well guess what? I DON'T CARE. YES, I have struggled with depression, anxiety, self-loathing, self-harm, and a shit-storm of questioning myself.
BUT I AM BETTER THAN DATING BELOW MY LEVEL. I have confidence, I have drive and motivation to be better, and I have dreams. Keep up, or stay out of my way. I want love, and I am in a place in my life where I am ready ot be ina relationship and have that. I simply wish that society would shapen up and raise the bar a little. It can't hurt.
ALL OF THIS!!!!!
I've also found that when you get to know people well, a lot of them break their own molds. People hide their deepest qualities because they're scared of being fully open. But then, again... that hasn't changed in life. That's just how PEOPLE are.
The methods may be different, but people themselves? Psh, they don't change as much. But there are some shining examples of lovely people out there. And you're one of them! I hope that you find the shining example of a person that matches your brightness. :>