FA+
Shop
Skype Issue and Friends
10 years ago
General
Gmornin, or Evenin to everyone,
I wanted to take a minute and write down what’s going in my life and how it affected some of you wonderful people. Back tracking a few weeks. I started running into a tougher and tougher patch in my life because of financial reasons. It’s hard for me to stay afloat with my full time job. I am looking for another but either way I opened commissions to help out with the grocery money. Keeping that in mind, I also got two tickets (yay right?). Alongside this I had a LOT of family issues arise. Some I can’t even fathom. I’ve had several deaths and lost several friends. Recently however I got into an argument with someone and that didn’t end well. My depression finally took over what it’s been creeping on doing and I kinda went emo nuts. It didn’t help that while dealing with this, I was being badgered at work and harassed. Being called useless. Slow. Waste of Payroll. Things that I can normally shrug off, now seemed like carving in my stone head. ( ha ha cus Im thick headed…) Either way, I couldn’t handle it. I felt a pressure that was severely overwhelming. Normally I try to help out every friend, and if they have depression? Help them cope or pull them out. But in this state, I couldn’t. I couldn’t help myself more or less. Each attempt to talk to someone or do something of the norm was just a reminder of how much I fail people in that goal. In my blind fit I deleted my entire skype contact list of friends and family and announced I was getting rid of skype. The reasoning I had? I couldn’t help myself and I wasn’t worth those people’s attention of friendship. Its hard for people to understand when they haven’t been in that level of depression or dealt with some kind of depression themselves. I didn’t feel worthy of anyone’s companionship much less the wonderful friends I had and have. I felt that I needed to earn back a inkling of respect and love from you all before I started added people back. I’ve had a few give me some harsh messages and some endearing. Thank you all and I do apologize if I stepped on toes….or stabbed em.
Ask any questions if need or want to . thanks
-WF
I wanted to take a minute and write down what’s going in my life and how it affected some of you wonderful people. Back tracking a few weeks. I started running into a tougher and tougher patch in my life because of financial reasons. It’s hard for me to stay afloat with my full time job. I am looking for another but either way I opened commissions to help out with the grocery money. Keeping that in mind, I also got two tickets (yay right?). Alongside this I had a LOT of family issues arise. Some I can’t even fathom. I’ve had several deaths and lost several friends. Recently however I got into an argument with someone and that didn’t end well. My depression finally took over what it’s been creeping on doing and I kinda went emo nuts. It didn’t help that while dealing with this, I was being badgered at work and harassed. Being called useless. Slow. Waste of Payroll. Things that I can normally shrug off, now seemed like carving in my stone head. ( ha ha cus Im thick headed…) Either way, I couldn’t handle it. I felt a pressure that was severely overwhelming. Normally I try to help out every friend, and if they have depression? Help them cope or pull them out. But in this state, I couldn’t. I couldn’t help myself more or less. Each attempt to talk to someone or do something of the norm was just a reminder of how much I fail people in that goal. In my blind fit I deleted my entire skype contact list of friends and family and announced I was getting rid of skype. The reasoning I had? I couldn’t help myself and I wasn’t worth those people’s attention of friendship. Its hard for people to understand when they haven’t been in that level of depression or dealt with some kind of depression themselves. I didn’t feel worthy of anyone’s companionship much less the wonderful friends I had and have. I felt that I needed to earn back a inkling of respect and love from you all before I started added people back. I’ve had a few give me some harsh messages and some endearing. Thank you all and I do apologize if I stepped on toes….or stabbed em.
Ask any questions if need or want to . thanks
-WF
But know this, you are awesome, a kind, caring, fun guy to be around that works his butt off in many regards to please and help others. I'm sorry to hear people don't think and feel the same way.
I do hope things turn around in your favor big guy. I really do~
I've been there, Whitey. I know what it feels like.
Dude, life is gonna have downs, like... really low downs. Some downs feel like they never go up... but they do. They always do. But it takes you not giving it up. You gotta keep pushing forward, keep reaching out, don't lose who you are just because things aren't going the right way.
You're awesome, never forget that. Sounds cheesy, but it's true. A lot of true things sound cheesy actually... But still, you gotta believe it. Some butt is calling you slow? You show them they're wrong! Use that doubt to give you power! Build yourself on the bad, let it be the fuel to get you higher up!
Last thing I'm gonna ramble about... You don't need to earn my respect or friendship or anything. You're someone I admire, we may not talk much, but, you're one of the reasons I even started drawing. Heh... Seems a bit silly, but a big reason for me even drawing was to impress you and a few others... Even now though, I still admire you. So, you get back out there, and you show em who's boss! Knock em all dead!
Whenever i did talk to you though it was always pleasant and i enjoyed the conversations and from what i see there are plenty of people that feel the same about you.
You're worth any companionship these people can give you.
For me you'll always be the best.
I may not be able to do much, but if you need reassuring, or just someone to listen to you, I've got your back.
I'm sorry depression got you down, also don't let their petty insults get to you. Your true friends respect you.
Sorry, I'd write more but I'm bad with things like that
I've debated posting a journal about my own issues, but I don't like to add to the sorrow. Either way, you've been cool to me every time we talked, and things will get better, they always do.
As much as it sucks... It's something that can't be taken alone. Your own voice is the harshest voice you'll ever hear and you need to hear the things your friends, your true friends, will say about you. Let them help you, if you push them away it can lead you into dark places. They want to help you because they like who you are, they want to see you being happy and content and want to help you get there, just try to find someone close you can vent to or just write it down so it's one less thing plaguing your mind.