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MRI results, and when bad news is a welcome guest
9 years ago
Earlier today I got to see the results of my recent MRI-scan and I'll cut right to the chase: my knee is actually in even worse shape than I thought.
My ACL has literally not healed whatsoever in the two years since I originally tore it, my MCL is still showing obvious signs of damage, my meniscus may still be torn (it's definitely damaged, but the MRI wasn't clear enough to confirm an actual tear) and apparently even the cartilage on my shin- and thighbone is messed up. All in all, it's not a pretty picture. Given these results, and my continuing instability in this knee, there has been a change of plans: we are no longer going to treat this with physiotherapy and supporting equipment like we originally planned. Instead we are going to take the high-risk/high-reward approach, and schedule me for reconstructive surgery.
Now, for most people this surgery wouldn't be particularly dangerous, but because I have Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome my blood vessels are significantly more fragile than those of the average person. Thus there is an increased risk of complications and internal bleeding --especially since they'll have to drill through two bones as part of the procedure-- which is part of why we've avoided this surgery until now. And I won't lie: I am worried about that risk. I have been assured that the team will take this issue into account and administer blood-thickening agents before and after the procedure, but that risk is still there and everybody knows it. Nevertheless I am willing to take it, because after many lengthy discussions we finally arrived at a solution for what was the biggest problem until now: the post-op healing process.
The biggest argument against this surgery until now has always been that my newly-installed ligament wouldn't properly attach to the surrounding bone because of my EDS, thus invalidating any regained stability and rendering the whole exercise pointless. And this is still absolutely true: the bone and ligament probably won't fuse together perfectly. But we realized we could circumvent this problem by making a temporary solution permanent. See, normally the new ligament is kept in place with surgical screws for at least 12 months while the bone-fusion process is going on, after which the screws would be removed again. But with a little bit of careful planning and a little bit of luck, we can hopefully insert the screws and then just keep them there for the rest of my life as a failsafe in case the bone fusion isn't enough (which it almost certainly won't be). It's not a perfect solution: there's a chance that I'll start experiencing mild discomfort as I get older and the bone around the screws softens and withers away... but it should hold up for at least a decade, probably two.
Which is why, in spite of all the risks, I am actually glad to have gotten these results. My biggest concern was that the MRI would have come back fine, and the doctors would have told me all my symptoms are psychosomatic. It's actually comforting to have confirmation of these issues, and a clear long-term plan for how to fix them. It's going to be a looooooooong process: I won't be able to walk for about 6 weeks after the surgery, and it'll most likely take around 15 months of rehab and physiotherapy before my knee is genuinely back up to full capacity. But considering that right now it's literally not even working at 10% capacity... It'll be worth it.
I will let you all know when the surgery is officially scheduled: I will still be writing and uploading here throughout the recovery process, though there may be a period of a month or two where there won't be any new music because I can't operate the pedal on my keyboard. I'll see if I can prep a bit of a backlog to deal with that.
I won't pretend like this isn't scary, but I am genuinely hopeful and looking forward to this time next year.
Wish me luck.
- Seskra
My ACL has literally not healed whatsoever in the two years since I originally tore it, my MCL is still showing obvious signs of damage, my meniscus may still be torn (it's definitely damaged, but the MRI wasn't clear enough to confirm an actual tear) and apparently even the cartilage on my shin- and thighbone is messed up. All in all, it's not a pretty picture. Given these results, and my continuing instability in this knee, there has been a change of plans: we are no longer going to treat this with physiotherapy and supporting equipment like we originally planned. Instead we are going to take the high-risk/high-reward approach, and schedule me for reconstructive surgery.
Now, for most people this surgery wouldn't be particularly dangerous, but because I have Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome my blood vessels are significantly more fragile than those of the average person. Thus there is an increased risk of complications and internal bleeding --especially since they'll have to drill through two bones as part of the procedure-- which is part of why we've avoided this surgery until now. And I won't lie: I am worried about that risk. I have been assured that the team will take this issue into account and administer blood-thickening agents before and after the procedure, but that risk is still there and everybody knows it. Nevertheless I am willing to take it, because after many lengthy discussions we finally arrived at a solution for what was the biggest problem until now: the post-op healing process.
The biggest argument against this surgery until now has always been that my newly-installed ligament wouldn't properly attach to the surrounding bone because of my EDS, thus invalidating any regained stability and rendering the whole exercise pointless. And this is still absolutely true: the bone and ligament probably won't fuse together perfectly. But we realized we could circumvent this problem by making a temporary solution permanent. See, normally the new ligament is kept in place with surgical screws for at least 12 months while the bone-fusion process is going on, after which the screws would be removed again. But with a little bit of careful planning and a little bit of luck, we can hopefully insert the screws and then just keep them there for the rest of my life as a failsafe in case the bone fusion isn't enough (which it almost certainly won't be). It's not a perfect solution: there's a chance that I'll start experiencing mild discomfort as I get older and the bone around the screws softens and withers away... but it should hold up for at least a decade, probably two.
Which is why, in spite of all the risks, I am actually glad to have gotten these results. My biggest concern was that the MRI would have come back fine, and the doctors would have told me all my symptoms are psychosomatic. It's actually comforting to have confirmation of these issues, and a clear long-term plan for how to fix them. It's going to be a looooooooong process: I won't be able to walk for about 6 weeks after the surgery, and it'll most likely take around 15 months of rehab and physiotherapy before my knee is genuinely back up to full capacity. But considering that right now it's literally not even working at 10% capacity... It'll be worth it.
I will let you all know when the surgery is officially scheduled: I will still be writing and uploading here throughout the recovery process, though there may be a period of a month or two where there won't be any new music because I can't operate the pedal on my keyboard. I'll see if I can prep a bit of a backlog to deal with that.
I won't pretend like this isn't scary, but I am genuinely hopeful and looking forward to this time next year.
Wish me luck.
- Seskra
and let me know how it goes.
:hugs you back and strokes your cheek:
You will be the first to know how things turn out, I promise. I'm not gonna let something like this get the better of me, and d'you know why? Cause there is no way in hell that I'm dying before I've spent a lifetime with you.
I need you to be strong, because I'll be thinking of you all throughout my rehab, okay? I will lie there in my bed, close my eyes, and imagine my head is in your lap. And when I look up into your eyes I want to see that lovely, adorable smile of yours.
:kisses your forehead: