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In A Daze
10 years ago
General
IDK for like the last month, I've been slipping between depression and this state of not really being all there even if my emotions level out. Work absolutely drains me after I get home and I can barely function beyond crashing by my computer and can only pick away at my art stuff before just petering out.
This absolutely sucks, I want to quit job but I need something with a steadier income than taking commissions (because somehow I doubt I'd make something steady doing that. I get bursts before it all goes quiet). I've been trying to apply for jobs that pay better and are less taxing, haven't heard anything back from any of them. I want to build up portfolio, but between job, burn outs, and commissions, I haven't even bothered.
I should be more upset by this and working to fix it, but when I'm actually aware and could think I'm capable, I'm in a damned daze where I can't do anything right anyways.
I dunno, I think I need to go see a doctor again. Or fake it 'til I make it (or break it, ha).
With hope you'll find a better job. Sounds like it's draining you the most. Hang in there!
I really hope so too, otherwise resort is gonna be full-time commission artist, and I don't quite trust myself enough to uphold that.