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[Feeling Meh]
9 years ago
Feeling kinda yucky lately. I'm sure I'll feel better at some point..but that point isn't right now. My back aches constantly, I'm pretty much always exhausted..
I've been doing closer to 40hr weeks these past few weeks in an effort to save up money for my fursuit (did I mention I commissioned my fursuit? I think I did..) and it's killing me. It hurts me to think that when I first started working, I worked 50 / 60 hr weeks without an issue at Walgreens..apart from falling asleep in class all the time, it wasn't a huge problem..I can't do even close to that anymore and it's destroying me mentally.
I'm pretty sure I've been getting worse, if I'm being completely honest. I'm tired all the time, my resting emotion is sad..it's getting harder and harder to pull myself out of bed in the morning. I'm not going to fursuit meets nearly as often as I used to (which I'll admit is in part because of the people AT the meets, but still..), hell, I really don't leave the house if I don't absolutely have to. I've been blowing off my friends, which makes me feel like absolute shit. All in all, I've just become...disinterested..with everything. Which is awful.
I'm hoping that as the weather gets better, so will my mood (I tend to get kinda gloomy in the winter months) but I really need to have that happen sooner, rather than later.
As far as fursuit stuff goes, my next payment will be somewhere around $1k, which is nice. I hope to have Bird by RMFC.
Speaking of, I don't think I've recently listed out my planned cons for the year. For sure, I'll be attending RMFC (with my boyfriend and his spiffy new tail that'll be finished soon) and Anime Nebraskon. I also hope to attend MFF again this year, though that's dependent on work and if I can get a room for cheap enough. I'm still hoping it'll happen, though..
I've also been hoping that getting Bird'll make me feel better, or at least as better as a materialistic object could make me feel, I guess. I had to stop binding because it was heavily bruising my back, so I've felt pretty shitty these last few weeks because of that too. I just don't feel right...but there's nothing I can do.
I feel like there's nothing I can do for any of my issues, and that's a shitty place to be.
But I'll keep my chin up, at least for the moment. Maybe tomorrow will be better.
