Dude, if this is because of me I was asleep... I wasn't ignoring you. I think you could benefit from getting counseling like I am going to try starting this next week. Please don't make suicide threats, it's not helping keep me close if you're trying to emotionally black mail me. I'm sorry but this is how I honestly feel as I've been burned by suicide threats before. I know I talk a lot of depressing shit on my journals and notes, but I would never kill myself I believe as I don't want to hurt those who care about me. And I care about you even though I don't think you believe it. I'm just going through my own shit too, it's not meant to hurt you. I'm sorry if this is upsetting in any way. I hope you feel better but I think there's only so much others can be reasonably expected to tolerate until you need to reach out for professional help. I know I am trying to and it's hard but I know I'm going to fight my demons. You'd better too *hugs* And no, I believe God loves you and me, but we fuck shit up to the point perhaps God won't keep trying with us forever, but I certainly don't see that as the case with you as you seem to be a very caring and sensitive person. You've been there for me and I wish I was able to do the same for you better.

And please, if I did something to hurt or upset you, would you tell me instead of getting suicidal on me? I know it's hard when one is depressed, but if I did something, please don't hold it in like I feel you are doing here. It would hurt less if you just vent to me and get it off your chest.

I will forever hold it in my mind. I'm not willing to let it off.

Just fight it... You've got to fight

don't do it

I will do it with a lot of delight and dismay.

I already gave up... It's not worth to fight!

Don't give up!

I already did it!

it's never too late.

Never? No! It's always too late!

Always? No! It's NEVER too late.

*cuts myself out to bleeding*

*band-aids it up and gets rid of all deadly things*

*runs away screaming* Don't try to save me!

*pounces you and pins you* I'll won't let you till you admit that everyone including you is NOT a failure!

Everyone except me is not a failiur se stesso.

everyone including you is NEVER a failure. NEVER forget it!

Forget it, I'm a failure!

No you're not! You were NEVER a failure. I won't stop until you admit that you're NOT a failure.

Shut up and forget it!

No not until you admit that you can do it.

I admitted you already I can't.

Then I won't stop.

Fermati ! Non fare niente di avventato ! Non arrenderti !
Stop ! don't do such a meaningless thing ! Don't give up !

In passato tutta la mia famiglia mi ha sempre detto che ero un fallimento ! So come ci si sente ... perchè dopo che me lo hanno ripetuto tante volte ho iniziato a credere che avessero ragione ... ma non è vero nessuno è un fallimento finchè non rinuncia a vivere !
In the past my family always said me that I was a failure ! I know how you feel ... because after they said that to me so many times I started to believe they were right ... but it's false no one is a failure till you don't give up on life !

Ho pensato di uccidermi tempo fa ... ma ora che ho trovato degli amici qui e che ho trovato una persona veramente speciale ... ora la mia vita ha un senso ... quindi non rinunciare ! non finchè non avrai provato tutto quello che la vita può offrire ! non finchè non avrai visto tutto ciò che di bello c'è in questo mondo ! non finchè ci sarà vita nel tuo cuore e nel tuo corpo ! MAI !
I thought about killing myself some time ago ... but now that I have found some friends here on FA and that I have found a special person ... now my life has a meaning ... so don't give up ! don't give up till you will try everything that life can offer ! don't give up till you will see the most beautiful places of this world ! don't give up till there is life in your heart and body ! DON'T GIVE UP , NEVER IN YOUR LIFE !

So che questa discussione è di Marzo ... ma so anche che le emozioni più tristi e negative sono difficili da rimuovere dalla mente !
Io sto iniziando da poco a rimuovere quei pensieri e solo grazie all'amore che provo ...
Ma anche se non hai ancora l'amore , non dimenticarti di coloro che ti sostengono e che ti sono amici e ti vogliono bene !
I know that this journal was posted on March ... but I know also that sad and negative emotions aren't easy removed from the mind !
I'm starting to remove them only recently and only because of the love I feel ...
But even if you haven't yet found love , don't forget about those who support you and care for you !

Ho pubblicato sia in italiano che inglese perchè non sono sicuro se conosci l'italiano o se ti piace l'Italia e supporti Italianfurs ...
I posted both in italian than english because I'm not so sure if you are from Italy or if you are a fan of Italy and you support Italianfurs ...