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A little torn of the mind
9 years ago
Every time I hear of or see talk of new forums emerging or new chat groups, a small wave of dread washes over me..
My first thought is "oh hey, a big chance to start new and make a better impression upon people, maybe connect with some diamonds in the rough of these communities!". That thought is usually followed by a small feeling of anxiety over the same thing oddly enough due to how often that just doesn't happen.
A recent one came to my knowledge, a particular flavor of kin board, again my first thought was of how I could have a fresh start, meet new folk, different perspectives, etc etc. But without fail, every time I check these places out, its the same small handful of people just hovering from one place to the next, giving the same "I have been around for ever, validate me" introduction. I am not really ranting much here, more like just being the guy who is like "sooo I get to chose from either group A or.... group A again, the same group, sure there isn't like a group B?". I don't know how many more old-boys type clubs we really need. Especially cause its the old-boys that have often kept particular dogmas circulating in a much more modern and changing era that's lead to many ghost town forums and social groups for a great many reasons.
Just a thought from a dragon who has the "old fruit" badge but not the mentality.
My first thought is "oh hey, a big chance to start new and make a better impression upon people, maybe connect with some diamonds in the rough of these communities!". That thought is usually followed by a small feeling of anxiety over the same thing oddly enough due to how often that just doesn't happen.
A recent one came to my knowledge, a particular flavor of kin board, again my first thought was of how I could have a fresh start, meet new folk, different perspectives, etc etc. But without fail, every time I check these places out, its the same small handful of people just hovering from one place to the next, giving the same "I have been around for ever, validate me" introduction. I am not really ranting much here, more like just being the guy who is like "sooo I get to chose from either group A or.... group A again, the same group, sure there isn't like a group B?". I don't know how many more old-boys type clubs we really need. Especially cause its the old-boys that have often kept particular dogmas circulating in a much more modern and changing era that's lead to many ghost town forums and social groups for a great many reasons.
Just a thought from a dragon who has the "old fruit" badge but not the mentality.
I used to be super reserved after being smashed about by a very unpleasant person but I've opened up to other people and it really helped my mood. Maybe it can help you. And remember; the block button is there for anyone who is less than pleasant :p
Do you feel like you've ostracized or separated yourself from the local community? I mean, I know you live on the island - apart from the big hub of furry activity that is the Vancouver area - but I usually hear about what goes on in the BC/Washington furry communities and I've never heard anything akin to "Watch out for that Drake Wingfire guy, he's rustled some jimmies 'round these parts."
I was kinda wondering myself why I haven't seen or heard much from you for a while. You and I used to chatter quite a bit and then it kinda stopped.
The feeling of having noses turned up at has really been a ongoing feeling of many years to be honest. To this day its why I still carry a nugget of apprehension when it comes to talking to or associating with some dragons. (hence my lamenting of too many old-boys, self congratulating clubs out there, but little else). The "old" otherkin community has a lot to do with that, yet that's my origin so I always feel like I should be able to dip back in and look around, but I get off-put by what I see in some places. Not cause its like wacky space fantasy stuff in some areas, but more because some places have turned so Spanish inquisition over time.
As for the furry community on the whole, yeah I have like less than 0 influence in the grand scheme or even in the bigger BC scene, but that's not really bothered me for the most part. Not saying I got people from regions I would just never want to see if I had the option, but I gotta deal with it either way. the island itself.. well its a good place, many solid furs here who I would trust a great deal, but still I aint no big mover or shaker. Trying to step into that arena tends to frustrate the shit outta me for multiple reasons, so I tend to stay low-key for sanity sake.
In the end I am not surprised you haven't heard anything about me. The only reputation I have for the most part is one of a guy very fond of sexual humor, who has his spiritual side and a dragon obsession, and a lot of that does fall on me for having fluctuated so much over the years in my general mentality as well as a few other things.
I am more open to chatting one on one these days, and my skype is the same as it has been, so if you did feel like chatting some now and then, I am around a fair bit. :)